Does the fear ever go away?

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  • greenfrog
    greenfrog Member Posts: 269
    edited June 2012

    I absolutely agree with my Aussie friend above.

    Some women handle this by throwing themselves into marathons or fundraising. Some women find comfort from counselling and therapy. Some slip back into life as if nothing had happened. Some are in total denial. Some cling to their religions. Some hit the bottle! There is no rule book as to how you should feel or respond. Friends and relatives try very hard to say the right thing and the usual platitudes are trotted out because, honestly, what can you say to a person with a life threatening disease?!

    Don't ever feel embarrassed or ashamed of the way you feel in relation to this disease. Some people don't handle it "better" than others, they just handle it differently in the way that suits them.

    Be kind to yourself  - you are in the absolute thick of it at the moment.

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  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited June 2012

    Justagirl and green frog I agree with what you are saying but I still feel like a "wimp"

    when I read what some of you beautiful and very courageous women have gone through

    and still are going through. Why can't I get "on with my life" and enjoy everything around me, be it my family, friends, people at work etc etc. How can I wipe out this fear factor that is destroying me. All these stupid clichés .....live for the moment, smell the roses etc etc....now they don't seem so stupid and I want to embrace them all.....oh well, perhaps when I start seeing "the shrink" he or she will help me in this department, oh God I hope so. Take care everybody.

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  • AmyIsStrong
    AmyIsStrong Member Posts: 1,755
    edited June 2012

    I noticed that about six months ago I really turned a corner, starting seeing bc as something that happened a long time ago TO me, not as something that DEFINES me. But I just passed my THIRD anniversary since DX. So yes, it takes time.

    At this point, when I meet new people, I don't feel compelled to tell them, to define myself that way. It is very interesting to me to meet someone and end that interaction with no talk about cancer at all - they never even know I went through it.  I never would have believed that was possible.

    Also - something VERY interesting at my most recent appt with my BS. She said that all her patients worry about recurrance and ask all kinds of questions about it, and have so much fear. BUT she said - most women who present early stage WILL NOT recur. What WILL happen to them is heart disease! She said THAT is what we should be afraid of and working to prevent. She says she tells her clients  that heart disease is what is most likely to get them and to lose weight, eat healthy, get active (get off their butts, is how she said it), but she said they don't want to hear it. She said that there is a small chance of recurrance, but a HUGE chance of heart disease - #1 cause of death to women, but women don't want to do the stuff that can cause them to avoid it.  What do you think about that? Something to think about, huh?

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  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited June 2012

    Wow AmylsStrong I could hug and kiss you. This is just what I need to hear at this time.

    Went through all the physical stuff......piece of cake....it's the emotional crap I'm having a hard time with.....of course it's all about recurrence. After reading your post and what your doc said, I can't begin to tell you how I feel.....like an epiphany of sorts. I know this sounds a little melodramatic but it truly has helped me and I hope everyone else. Thank you again.

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  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited June 2012

    Justagirl this is just a quick question for you...noticed you are on letrozole...how's it going......was just wondering if some of my "stuff" could be related to taking this medication????

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  • justagirl
    justagirl Member Posts: 730
    edited June 2012

    Scottiee1 -

    Yes, i am on letrozole/femara, and I can guaranty you, absolutely, and without a doubt, it makes me morbid, depressed, anxious and a whack-a-do!  I am more emotional (and not to the good) and tired and I guess the best way to sum it up is every day I want the old me back, feelings and attitude wise, and know the femara is significantly responsible, and want to stop it, but will keep on taking it for another 3 1/2 years.  I, my husband, my son, and two best friends noticed the change in me about a month after I started taking it.  My one best friend, who is a nurse like me, said if it's affecting me this way maybe it means the medication is really working - I don't know but believing that  makes me keep taking it and dealing with the fallout!  But, bottom line is we must take it for the best chance of not having a recurrence.  I thought after my double mastectomy the oncologist would say I could go off it, and my GP thought so too, but as my tumor was a Grade 3, invasive and aggressive, as the pathology report termed it, having a clear sentinel node biopsy wasn't enough insurance.

    You can always PM me if you want.  I tell you, this drug is almost worse than all my surgeries and chemo and radiation, at least they were over quite fast....

    PS: I like that: I am a whack-a-do!  Prone to rage or crying at any time!

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  • justagirl
    justagirl Member Posts: 730
    edited June 2012

    Grandma,  I just wanted to check in and see if you got the results of your bone scan.

    My heart goes out to you, as you said you thought that in reaching the 10 year mark of no recurrence of the breast cancer and taking femara that the shear horror and dred of BC would of become a thing in your past.

    No, I can see how just verbalizing  your aches and concerns and having your Dr verbalize the need for a bone scan to check for mets would throw you right back to when this nightmare started oh so many years ago.

    Yes, you want your life back, and all of our lives have been forever altered/changed by this nasty breast cancer.

    Please let me know how you are faring.  Life so many times just isn't fair!

    Debbie

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