Thinking Long Term - Why is this so hard?

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sundermom
sundermom Member Posts: 463
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

I'm 38, have five great kids (12, 10, 8, 7 and 4) and am one year out from treatment. I have had two clean PET scans. Why am I having such a hard time thinking long term about life decisions? I recently took a graduate class to renew my administrative license and now I have an opportunity to pursue my PhD (which has been a life-long goal). However, I find myself thinking about whether I will live long enough to make this a worthwhile investment. One day I think, "Go for it! Seize the day!" The next day I think, "Well...what if I get sick again?" This is just a horrible, horrible feeling. How do you ladies approach long term decisions?

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  • wrsmith2x
    wrsmith2x Member Posts: 410
    edited June 2012

    I wish I had a good answer for you but every time I consider planning something (for example, I want to go skydiving for my 50th birthday in April 2013) I wonder if I'll actually be alive then.  Oh well, all we can do is live as if it is our last day, I guess.  See....I'm so full of great answers....sorry.  I am a mess from my second BC......just taking it one day at a time.

    I pray cancer leaves your mind and body and never returns.   Namaste'.

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  • MaxineO
    MaxineO Member Posts: 555
    edited June 2012

    sundermom: I could have written this! I keep putting money away for retirement, but in actuality, I think of it as money for my kids and husband after I am gone.   I swing from one extreme to the other.  It stinks.

    On positive days, I just try to proceed with an understanding that I will live a long life, hence, continue to save money, go forward with that degree, enjoy my children...and count on being there for them. I do find myself being less scared to do things I have always wanted to do (maybe the seize the day part).  But I also don't put too much pressure on myself to 'seize the day'...I find that just as trying, and one more thing to feel guilty about if I don't do it.

    No wise words, just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I hope it gets easier!

    wrsmith2x: don't wait for your 50th birthday! Go skydiving!

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