Did the Survivor Lap at Relay then did something........

 did the Survior Lapt at Relay and then did something some may think is bad...

So I was invited to do the Survivor Lap for the Relay for Life by one of my bank customers.  Wasn't really sure I was going to do it because I wasn't feeling "worthy".  When I was first diagnosed in November '11 my sister, her husband and daughter said and wrote some extremely hurtful and horrible things to me. The words they said have been eating away at me for the past 7 mths and keeping me from movoing on and finding closure that I've needed.  My family and extended family never really let me talk about what happened because they didn't want to "get invovled". 

Well I did the Survivors Lap on Saturday and got a cute sash that said Survivor on it and after the lap I decided I was going to become a Survivor in every sense of the word - both physically and mentally.  So I wrote up how I was feeling and I posted it in a Note on Facebook along with the emails I sent and the emails I received from their family.  I have to tell you the minute I hit enter I felt lighter, like a 10000lb weight was lifted off my shoulders.  I slept better that night and have slept better every night since - I'm now happy!  Now my family had a huge problem with what I did and although I stated in the post I wanted to negativity, my cousin and niece decided they needed to respond and stickup for my sisters family (which I found it funny that they could stick up for her with strangers but God Forbid they stickup for me with her).  Anyway their responses really didn't affect me - I thought they would but the relief and sense of self I got from the post has won out.

People have sent me wonderful emails of support and understanding.  I did not do the post for attention or to cause problems for my sister - I did it because the pain I was feeling had to be released and I would have screamed it off the roof tops if I could have.

I'm sharing this so if there is anyone else out there who is suffering in silence can find the strength to scream out and release the pain - regain you health both physically and mentally - it feel so amazing!!!!!!!!!!!