April/May 2012 Chemo hang out

rn4babies- Sorry you have had so much bone pain from the Neulasta/Neuprogen shots. I got my first Neulasta shot this past Wednesday , the day after I got round #3.   My WBC were high the day I got my chemo but got the shot to prevent the big drop since I had a high spikey fever after round #2.  I took the Claritin, the morning of my afternoon Neulasta shot and take it daily in the morning.  I'll keep taking it until next Wednesday.  So far, no bone pain.  I will tell you that I did have some bone pain after my second round of chemo, especially in the heel of my left foot.  I took some Advil or Tylenol which made the pain more manageable.  You may need to talk to your onco about getting some stronger pain meds to handle the pain. Hang in there.... hope you feel better soon!!!!

JKBuffy and rgina: Congrats on your courage.  I am still broken out all over the place--don't know if its a reaction to the Neulasta injection from yesterday.  I am soooo tired, and so, so bored.  I hate lying around and doing nothing.  I have been reading, etc.  Sorry about the pity party

Hi all!

Working: I really recommend trying to switch to neupogen at home instead of injections in the office. And getting lots of help at home.

Yes, neupogen causes bone pain. But it doesn't seem to be as bad, and if gets bad there is always the possibility of skipping or delaying an injection, which neulasta doesn't allow. Sorry I don't know what happens if you take neulasta late.



Alcohol: almost all chemo is processed in your liver. But if you drink a glass of wine, that's unlikely to be a problem unless you have other liver problems. My MO gave me the all clear 24 hrs after both a/c and taxol to do whatever I felt like doing. She said she was more worried about me being dehydrated vs liver toxicity.



You younger ladies may want to look into some of the young survivors groups. They can be a lot of fun. I like stupid cancer, they're funny. And going to support groups and talking to guys with lymphoma about freezing sperm takes you out of BC land.



When I got emotional about the mirror, two things helped. 1) going out to see friends, because they were able to make me believe I looked great, and 2) remembering that my looks were going downhill eventually anyway. I figure by age 50 my foobs will be better looking than the real ones would have been. But cry now, by all means. We've earned it.

lsharvey - I've got 10 cats (part of my 20+ critter brood) - 4 that alternate sleeping with me - the cat hair, I'm use too, but my own was definately not working for me.  I've got clean sheets on the bed (hairless) - and what's really amazing my super tender scalp no longer hurts.

Good morning everyone,

I hope your weekend is going well and that SE's are minimal.

I have just had this overwhelming feeling of guilt come over me and man does it ever suck!  Has anyone else experienced this?  I am feeling guilty for getting sick and starting to feel I am a burden to people.  I am not feeling sorry for myself, just pissed off for making people worry about me.  I've only begun this journey and need to shake these feelings real quick.

I'm sorry....not meaning to be a downer but right now this is the only place where I can say how I really feel because I am trying to make everyone in my life think that I am absolutely fine with everything.

Hugs,

Hi all, I hope it's a day full of no SE for everyone.

 Mistym ,hugs to you and I totally understand.  I find myself saying I'm sorry to my husband when he is doing the things around the house that I would normally do.  But as he has pointed out many many times...I have no need to be sorry, I didn't choose this and if the situation were reversed I'd be doing everything I could for him. 

I really didn't mind getting my head shaved all that much, the warm weather is here and it feels pretty good.  After all the years of coloring I was shocked to see how gray I am.  Plus I laugh that I bear a striking resemblence to Curly from the 3 stooges. 

I have my last AC treatment on Tuesday so I feel pretty good today.  Isn't it awful that just as you start to feel more like yourself it's time for another treatment.  Plus one of the last days to feel good and I have to entertain some out of town in-laws.   No lie... when telling my husband's sister that I am trying to keep a positive attitude she actually said..... "well Eileen, like I always say, we all have to die sometime".  What a tool, right?  If I wasn't worried about karma I'd slip some constipating meds in her iced tea.  lol

Hope you all have a relaxing day.

Vicki, Now THAT makes me happy.  Laughing is the best.

Also: Vicki and misty, omg, the burden feeling, the asking for help all the time, the being down or pessimistic or cranky stuff, I hate it. Trying to go easier on myself, it's very tough.

Eileen -good laugh !!!!

As always, and at times so difficult to do, please remember to be kind to yourselves as we each travel on our journeys.   Yes, it is our time to do what we need to do  and at the speed we need to move forward to healing.  I want to do so many things for myself but I know the reality is that I cannot.  I let those around me, my DH, DS and DD and friends do whatever they want to help me no matter how small or large the task is,  especially when I need the help and try to be obstinate accepting the help.  I recognize that it hasn't been easy to watch for them to witness and experience my metamorphosis but I thank God that they are here, supporting me through easy times and hard times, urging me forward to keep moving forward and wanting to accompany me through this.  This is all they can do since they cannot take my place or change bodies with me.  HUGS to everyone, especially those having some hard moments!!!!!

Hi ladies,

Claire in Az here again.  Look at all of you, putting one foot in front of the other, even if you don't want to.  Just a couple of suggestions--tramadol is a good pain reliever that won't dope you up as much as oxycodone, and won't stop you up as much either.  

Emotions:  I remember at least one saturday after my AC tx of thursday where I had a crying jag that lasted for hours...lying on my bed in my bedroom crying my eyes out. Couldn't stop.  The sadness, as I think vballmom mentioned, must be acknowledged: my healthy body failed me; how could it do that to me?  I felt robbed of my innocence at age 53.  

My husband died of cancer 16 years ago--we had been married four months. I know, it's my tragic story. I was his primary caregiver throughout his journey.  The point is, I remember feeling robbed and sad then, of course.  It's like driving a bad road over and over and driving into huge potholes each time:  it's a jarring drop that hurts again and again.  Eventually what I remember was that the potholes were still there, but I remembered where they were ahead of time and didn't have to drive into them each time. I could drive around them if I chose.  So this whole BC thing--fear, anger, sadness, disappointment--we're going to drive into those potholes, definitely.  I think though, that in time we will know where they are, and can avoid them if we choose. 

Nofear, sorry about your funky SEs and ER visit. Hope they get you on track and better soon. Hugs!!



Melrose, you are right on. I hate having my family/etc see me going through this. I hate laying a downer on everyone. They worry, I worry, there is nothing fun about it. But I have no control over it. Exposed.

I know I am learning certain things about letting go and life but I wish I could learn it another way. and I hope I make it through.

luvbnggma, this is our first summer being empty-nesters and we are dealing with this too.  Jealous that your grandkids are so close.  Mine are in TX; planning on going down in Oct (DH 25 yr homecoming annivesary) andwe will see them then. 

I am going to rock the bald look.

To Vickilind61: I just know you will rock the bald look!  Great attitude!  I wrote a blog about that: http://marnieclark.com/how-to-look-gorgeous-while-going-through-chemotherapy/ (just for some ideas!)

And re the grandchildren - you are lucky that they are in the same country!  My gorgeous little guy is in the Czech Republic!  I thank the technology gods for Skype! (but it just ain't the same as kissing their sweet little dimples, is it?)

Hey - I see you're in Colorado Springs - I'm in Denver.  Let me know if I can help you in any way!

I am struugling w emotions like everyone else. I wondering how the hell am I going to make it 3 more times. The physical is one aspect but the emotional is such another. My husband/family has been so supportive, I feel so bad. My stomach is still a mess & do not want to eat anything. I am struggling wish this was over. Thank u everyone for the support.

Wow!  I totally relate to the guilt.  I am so used to never being sick and I do keep apologizing for this.  I'm trying to continue to be strong.  I don't want my kids to see me like this.  It's great to have you all here to vent to.  Thanks for being here.