considering no reconstruction and no prosthesis

Crystal, that is how it was, it defined me. I WAS the hair. I find it so cool to be getting along just fine without it.



Pam, that is great that you had the chance to see what it actually looks like. I was dying to see some examples ahead of time, just to get used to the idea. As for the hair, try to have fun with it.

Oh my heck I love the post about looking like ET. I have caught my reflection a couple of times and somehow, I don't quite look human to myself. There is something fairly alien about my body now. I was thin when I started six brutal rounds of chemo and lost a ton of weight. I was fit before but have since lost all my muscle as well.I am literally nothing more than skin and bones and am having a terrible time with my appetite. I do use the Boost and Ensure and gag that down as much as possible. I don't want anything to eat. Nothing sounds good, smells good, or looks good. I am trying to eat but for some reason, I just don't want to eat and never feel hunger pains. Should be a real good time trying to fix this later. 

 I am so sorry to hear about the rough time you are having with the chemo. I did not do well either and Round Four in the one that got me. I had to have blood tranfusions and developed severe neuropathy throughout my entire body. I was sent home with a walker that really hurt my pride but it was better than falling down all the time. I started with a wonderful physical therapist during Round Five. I have been getting the laser treatments on my hands and feet and that has helped a great deal.

I had a double mastectomy and 17 lymph nodes removed three weeks after Round Six and a triple dose of Herceptin the day before surgery. I am  18 days out from my surgery and will be starting six weeks of daily radiation in about a week and a half. 

I was wondering today if there was an end to this misery. I have been really hard on myself lately because I don't seem to be healing very quickly and I am not up and about like I think I should be. Counting the days since surgery and realizing that I am not even finished getting the crap kicked out of me by round six yet, has put it in a little better perspective. That's a lot of things to ask a human body to endure. I am going to a baby shower tomorrow with my mom. It is my first outting around other people since my surgery and it is causing me tremendous stress. There isn't a thing in my closet that is going to hide this mess and I can't wear the bras or the foobie things because I still have one drain left. How does anyone do this without going mad? And let's hear it for chemobrain. I see words backwards and type like a third grader now. I go back and read things I've written and half the sentence isn't even there. 

Thanks for all your posts. It's good to know you are all here. By the way, I am still glad that I made the choice not to ever do reconstuction. I'm afraid one day I will forget how miserable this is and think it's a fab idea to put myself through anything more.