May 2012 radiation

Jan - very interesting about the boosts!  (I almost called them boobsts)

SO sorry to hear about how tired some of your wonderful ladies are

I continue to do the baker boob, and my dog continues to think I'm baking him bones or something.  He hasn't cuddled me this much in ages - and he keeps sniffy righty thinking it smells wonderful! 

Conrats Wiskris and Silvia!  Wow, what a great feeling!

I just finished treatment #11.  I got final date disappointingly to be Monday, July 2nd.  I asked to have a double treatment next week so I could end on Friday, June 29th.  RO said she would do it but has never done it with tissue expanders and I could honestly say she wasn't comfortable with it.  So, I feel like I have to do it her way.  She would hate to have a problem with my skin for reconstruction.  That being said, I will be out of town and I will have to drive 3 hours each way for a 10 minute appointment (and you know it's like less than 2 minutes under the machine).  Oh well, as with this whole process I really don't feel like I can question much.  My gut says go with the expert.  I'm just sad.  I really wanted to be done on the 29th and not go into July.   

I think the fatigue is starting for me too.  I am still trying to do everything and it's kicking my butt in the evenings.  I just totally zonk out.  Plus when I wake up (5 a.m. for my coffee and morning walk with Reily and DH) I still feel tired.  It's such a weird feeling.  I don't think it helps that my ride there is 45 minutes and the ride home with traffic is close to an hour.  That's a lot of driving 5 days a week!

Yes, weekends sure do have a brand new meaning McKenna! 

I absolutely love the facility; everyone there is so nice!  I feel blessed to have my place. I call it the country club.  I've been to their downtown hospital and ugh.  I'm so glad I am where I am.  I could get my rads at my local hospital but that is 20 minutes away so I'd rather go to my "country club" and my doctors & nurses.  I have been doing some errands on the way home and trying new ways to get home; through the city or around the beltway.  It's lonely driving at times but mostly peaceful "ME" time.  I'm thinking about going shopping in-between my rads on the 12th and my oncologist appointment in the afternoon.  My may even treat myself to a new purse or maybe some new earrings or both.  Ha,ha.  It will be my 50% done day!  YOLO - you only live once!  

Good idea, ladies!

Goodie - I didn't go through chemo.  I had a lumpectomy, and now rads, then medication.  My friends were supportive through surgery.  Most of them haven't asked much about radiation.  My hubby is a wonderful support, as is my best friend and my mother, but that's about it for the most part.  One one hand I'm so sick of thinking about cancer and talking about it, but on the other hand I would like for some of them to check every once in a while.  I just don't want to be defined by it. 

Neeners - I'm sick of thinking about cancer and talking about it too but like you I would like for some to check in on me.  I don't really have much support at home either though.  I guess since I don't work outside the home it is like my job to leave at 7 a.m. and be gone for 2+ hours or more if I go on errands.  Plus it's every day.  I think people don't think that radiation is that hard.  I think it is very emotionally hard.  Whatever.  I will get through this too.  I don't want to be defined by it either.  It's kind of hard though when I barely have any hair yet.  Ugh.  I know a year from now it will be more normal for us.  Right?

Just got home from work--a long day of travel and meetings. I usually have radiation at 3:00 so I can leave work a little early and get the zaps done on my way home from work, and that turned out to be a good idea. I can come home a crash. Today, though, I needed to chair a meeting at 3:00 and got my appointment moved to 9:45. I was exhausted all day!



I'm sorry that there are husbys who don't understand this leg of the journey is, in its own way, as tough as any of the others--surgery, chemo, etc. I'm finding it very challenging to lie perfectly still for fifteen minutes as my arms go numb, knowing the beams are destroying not only cancer cells but any healthy lymph nodes left in my armpit. And praying they're not frying my heart or lung!



I'm glad I was alone in the room today. The tears dripping down sideways filled up my ears and I couldn't move to dry them. Fortunately I pulled it together before the end of treatment.



One more this week and then we get a break. Yay.

silviazara and wiskris - Checking in with a glass of red in hand. Yay to you two, and all others who finish this week. Today was Rads Hump Day for me and for dizzy. I followed the suggestion of others here and brought the techs a plate of brownies to celebrate. Truth was, I was craving a brownie and didn't dare have a whole plate in the apartment. So I was able to kill two birds with one stone and seem like a really nice person all at the same time.

Champagne time!!! My hubby is popping it right now. Cheers to all of us! I am sending lots of love to each of you, you have a special place in my heart. Even though I get lots of support from my family and friends, only you are the people who truly understand all the fear we have to live with and all those hidden tears. This is sooo difficult but we will make it through!

I'm on the phone with my sweetie as he is in Minnetonka, MN and he called me 'Little Red Robin' since I was referring to my red breast. 

I will say that even though my hubby has been a great support, there was a moment before rads where I cried and said 'I'm still scared, ya know?', and I think it drove it home to him that I still need support from him.  He's extremely laid back and acts like everything is no big deal which, usually works to our benefit because I'm the opposite and we balance each other out.  He's come with me every morning (we live near NYC so don't have a car and have to get a cab and he rides with me to the hospital and back).  Next week he'll be out of town for work, so I'll be on my own.  I think I will be fine, but about 8 months before all the cancer crap (cc) started, I had trouble with anxiety/panic attacks.  Just as I got over one, then I got the cc.  I'm trying not to regress back to the anxiety/panic and to use my tools that I learned that helped me initially.  Most times it helps, but there is still fear there a lot of times.

sbelizabeth - I seriously try not to think a thing about the frying.  Sometimes it's easier than others.  I'm sorry yesterday was rough for you .  This is all such a roller coaster (at least for me).  Hugs.  I am finding that I get really tired about 2-4 hours after my rads treatment (treatments are around 8:10 ish), then I get a second wind, then I get really tired again about 10:00 p.m.  I haven't done any naps or anything, but I could see wanting to in my future.  It looks like you're about a week ahead of me.  How much sleep do you get each night?

Jan - red robin!  That's cute .

Silvia - ahhh champs!  CONGRATS again!  How wonderful  The last time hubby and I celebrated was when I got my clear margins and b9 news after my lumpectomy.  My friend bought me dinner last night and we toasted to my 10%.  Maybe I can get the silver lining from this and celebrate 25, 50, 75 and 100!

Spok - I am a *horrid* cook.  If I made my ladies brownies, god only knows what I'd be in for after!  Hahaha.  Very nice of you, though.  Can you send me one? 

McKenna - I'm impressed with your mom!  My mom can't even figure out texts!  I wish she would, because she calls pretty often and I am so not a phone person normally, and then to be on the phone talking about treatments - eh.  It all comes from a good place, though, of course.

hello everyone...congrats to all who finished...I only have 3 left...can't wait..I heard from my son in the navy and he is coming home on deployment leave tonight, so 2 days off this weekend and 2 more zaps then a nice visit with my son.......now if I could just not have this stupid herceptin thing lol

Have a good weekend everyone

Wis - you poor thing - pooped right out!  I think taking a sleep day sounds like a great idea.  And just think, you are on the road now to getting your energy back - woo hoo!  Congrats on being done, done, done!  I can't wait until it's me

Today I am 13 1/3% done.  It's helping me to look at the percentages, because once you get to double digits it seems like it adds up quickly.  Whatever works, right?  I'm really hoping to sleep in tomorrow.  I've been getting up at 6 (I am SO not a morning person) and starting to work.  We're on summer hours now, which means I work 10 hour days and get one day off every other week.  I might need to change that toward the end.  We'll see.  Before I was really not happy about the 4th of July messing up my treatment schedule, but now I think it's going to be good timing to give me a mid-week break!

It's beautiful weather today in Jersey, and I hope to walk in the park later on.  I've been getting a walk (either outside or doing my DVD tape) in every day.