"The most ENCOURAGING things said to you during your journey"
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I ran in the Komen race my first year out, and had painted "surviving: 2008 2009" on my shirt. A friend said "won't that be cool when years from now your shirt has dates going up and down all over it?"
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That day when I was in the surgeon's office and I had to make that ultimate choice of treatment. I knew and my husband knew and the surgeon and oncoligist knew that it was a BMX. But I was crying and raging and I just couldn't get the words out. My surgeon asked my husband to give us a few minutes. She then undid her lab coat and opened her blouse to reveal - no breasts! She had a BMX when she was 24 and never bothered with reconstruction or wearing foobs. She told me that most people don't even notice; they just think she's an athletic type, slender woman. Somehow that gave me "permission" to make the choice.
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So many angels have crossed my path -- two stand out the most.
I teach tap at a dance studio. My daughter is in one of the competition companies there. Shortly after my surgery, I got a text with a photo attached -- my daughter and all her friends wearing shirts that said "Senior Company at (studio name) Dances in PINK for Ms. Ruthie!" I still smile every time I see one of those girls wearing that shirt.
The second came also in the form of an emailed picture... this time from a friend who I have known for almost 20 years but "lost" in my divorce -- her husband and my ex were childhood friends, and it became difficult for us to keep in touch due to my ex's hostility. Her small town had had a "Relay for Life" cancer run, and she had printed out pictures of me and put them on a couple of the luminarias that lit the path for the racers. She sent me an email with the subject "Our Relay for Life", with nothing in it but the pictures.
Beautiful thread...
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Wow.......Ive been suffering these past weeks since dx with anxiety attacks and now depression. This thread is so inspiring!
And topless......your story is amazing.....I was not a big fan of doctors before this....had many horrible experiences......but since my dx.....ive met some incredible, docs, techs and even office personnel that are so compassionate.....its really turned me around. But your story - wow - just moved me! thank you for sharing it!
Ive had a lot of people in my community come out of the woodwork..... a friend who lost her brother to brain cancer came over my house the day after dx....and just cried - "not because i think you wont make it, because i know you will.....but because of what you are going thru emotionally, mentally - i know you are hurting, and thats what my tears are for"....
And when i went to class to explain to my guitar teacher why suddenly it was obvious I wasnt practicing anymore and wouldnt be finishing the class.....I went in to tell him I had just been dx 2 days before - he got these giant tears in his eyes and hugged me really close, then looked in my eyes and said "youre gonna be ok.....I had cancer 2 years ago....youre gonna be ok".
I am so thankful for this site!!! it is my lifesavor! im not exaggerating! I dont know what i would do without this place and all you amazing women!
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Topless - LOVED the story about your BS - wow, who would do that, you know? How powerful to have your surgeon know what you were going through. Amazing story!!
Thanks for all the other inspirational stories ladies! I really needed them. I was starting to focus just on the crazy stuff said to me and forgot the amazing stuff!!
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Another thing that wasn't said to me but meant so much. A friend from HS that I had connected with a few years back at my reunion sent me 2 scarves just before chemo. She had been diagnosed with DCIS 2 years prior and didn't have to do chemo. I was so touched by such a thoughtful present.
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Through my reconstruction process I ran into several complictaions and was in the PS office very " frustrated and anxious"... he simply looked at me and said with a great big smile " DOnt worry we are joined at the hip until all is well".
My Onc is also great I am having a hard time on Tamoxifen, and at the last visit she took my hand and said please dont stop it or give it up let me know what I can do to help you through it and I will help you and gave me her email and said email on the weekends after hours whenevr you need to answer any questions
I feel like I have been blessed to have found very caring docs on this journey. I really didnt know what to expect.
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It is always such a pleasure to read the posts on this thread. Thank you all for sharing your stories!
Your Mods
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When my husband, who has - steadfastly - refused to feel sorry for me throughout this entire experience, said, " ... the woman I love is a Warrior ... I'll sharpen your sword and hold your shield ... now, get out there and FIGHT, I'll be right behind you ..." (Still choke up when I think of this.)
When my surgeon looked me straight in the eye and stated, " ... this is not going to kill you ... slow you down for awhile? Yes ... but not kill you ..." He gave me the courage to keep going when I didn't know how.
When a complete stranger told me that she survived breast cancer by, " ... putting your feet firmly on the ground every morning, thanking God for another day, and just keep moving forward. You'll be alright if you keep moving forward ..."Angels when I needed them.
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Omg SelenaWolf - that first one brought tears to my eyes!! thx!
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OMG SelenaWolf-- i love your post. You husband sounds amazing!
For me, the most important/inspirational thing said to me came about a week after I was diagnosed. I went to see a social worker and the subject of how to tell my young children came up. It had been stressing me out to no end...i hadn't told them anything yet. She said.."sickness is part of life. Your children are going to watch and learn from you how to handle sickness. Trust them (and include them)." I think that advice changed the course of how i have handled BC. It made me try to have a sense of humor and optimism about it that i think i would not have had otherwise.
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HI all - What a GREAT thread! Thanks for starting it Torigirl. I was just diagnosed in late March and I recieved three different quotes from friends that have stuck with me (Two are a bit irreverent; I'm sorry if this offends anyone!):
- "I can't do this. But I'm doing it anyway."
- "When life knocks you down, just get back up and say: 'You hit like a bitch.'
- "If Britney Spears got through 2007, then surely I can get through this day." (remember, that was the year when she shaved her head and attacked a car with a baseball bat, among other dubious behavior.)
Despite the language, I hope it made you laugh!
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These are ALL awesome. I love this thread!
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Our Priest was at our house the day before and talked to us....then a BIG surprise the next morning when the IV was going into me she showed up at the hospital...it made my husband and myself so VERY happy and assured...then later around 9:00 in the evening she showed up when I was in my room....this has stayed with the both of us....and always will.
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The first encouraging thing was when my BS said "breast cancer is NOT a death sentence".
The second was when my DH said "whatever happens, we are in this together" and he meant it. He never missed an appt or a treatment. I am so sad for anyone that has to travel this road alone.
The third was when I overheard my DH telling my DD " I am so proud of your Mom". That brought tears to my eyes and hers too.
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My medical oncologist: "You'll be alright."
My radiation oncologist: "You noticed your cancer and saved your life."
My surgeon: "You will die an old, old lady."
My husband: "You will be fine. We'll get through this together."
My friend and co-worker, when I posted a photo of my bald self: "You look like a French model!"
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My 82-year-old father, who is in very good health, told me "I wish I could trade places with you." That really touched me. It reminded me that even though I'm over 50 with grown children of my own, my parents would still walk through fire for me.
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Oh my goodness, such poetic beautiful words spoken, and these words bring courage to all of us...Thank you.
My own husband, who is not poetic, said to me before surgery even if he had to "carry your head and body with no arms, legs or breasts around in a little box, I always want you with me."
Like I said, no poetry there, but it is a soft thought, don't you think?
You all wear your courage ever so well!!!! I am inspired!
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Thanks to everyone who keeps sharing such beautiful, inspiring words and stories! I love reading them and hope everyone else does too!
Tori
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This is my favorite section of this site. When I'm feeling blue it really helps me.
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My 90+ year old MIL also said she wished she could trade places with me. I love her so much.
My dear, sweet husband said he would love me forever no matter what my body looked like as he reminded me that we agreed to grow old together 34 years ago on our wedding day. We've known one another since high school. He was dx with a chronic illness nearly 30 years ago that we deal with everyday. Neither one of us would ever think of not being there for the other. I am so blessed and grateful.
Love this thread. Makes me feel good to read it!
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I actually received a text today from a good friend of mine. She said they had a project at work where they had to draw or write about someone that inspires them. She said she wrote about me and i inspire her everyday!!! She made my day!!!
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I have just found this thread... Thank you so much ToriGirl for startng it. I have just read through them all and laughed and cried and then laughed some more and cried some more.
Esmerelda... "When life knocks you down, just get back up and say: 'You hit like a bitch.' That made me laugh - thank you.
My husband - I do not know how I get through some days without him. Not always what he says, just the look of love in his eyes, but every morning before he leaves for work he brings me a cup of tea, kisses my forehead, cups my chin in his hand and says "I love you".
All you ladies - each and everyone of you - you encourage me.
Hugs, strength and love to you all xxxxxxxxxx
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I LOVE THIS THREAD!!
I have so many but will only post one or two at a time so I can continue to bump this thread. I went to get the biopsy results by myself - mine was squishy and movable, it hurt...it wasn't supposed to be cancerous. When I came out I called my boyfriend and my best friend who shared the news that I couldn't say more than twice. By the time I got home my boyfriend was there with a card. Inside it said all the kind, sweet things and that he would be there with my while i battled and beat this. The cover was an adorable kid couple with the girl on tiptoes kissing the boy. I immediately remembered that I have a Live, Laugh, Love frame that fit perfectly and it will always be on my dresser. In the meantime, my friends rallied and showed up at my door. We went out for conch fritters, oysters and way too many drinks.
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Here is one that came full circle tonight. I was dx'd 2 days before Thanksgiving. Although I carry the BRAC mutation, no one in my family or close to me experienced bc. I knew nothing about it, and did assume the worst. My family lives 1000 miles away, and I went to my best friends parents house for thanksgiving. As I walked in the door both her parents told me that they were here for me. My friends husband told me that his mother had a bmx 40 years ago. That was my turning point of hope. I shared that w him tonight because of this thread. He told me that is was something that he never talked about until he knew that I needed to hear it. Now he knows and cherishes what his mom went thru and understands the power of her story.
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BUMP
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I came home from the hospital after the BC surgery and my best friend and dear romie were there and willing to stay uo all night with me bcause i was wired for sound and ready to go running down the block...they stopped me on that one....my sister coming and sayin g' if you can carry that #$%$^^damn backpack up and down the streets of Halifax, you're fine....but you are sore so stop for god't sake!"..ok point taken...when I came back from a onthe surgery, I returned to a house of groceries..all heart healthy groceries ...they all know I hate fuss but this said ' we were thinking about you and want you to take it easy for a bit and not run around....and by the way, fif you were not already eating these, plesae start now.,..such love!
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One of the most encouraging things happened this past week on a follow-up to my BS. She said she thinks I should not have any "rude surprises" when I go to my mamo appointment next month.
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Hope no one is offended by this, but my daughter and I dealt with each day with humor. A lady in church asked me if I was having a single or double mastectomy. I told her single. She said, "Just remember...just because you are a half-tit doesn't make you a half-wit." My husband, daughter, and I still laugh about it!
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Pinkteacher - gonna use this line referring to myself. It sure made me laugh!
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