The Glorified Pink Ribbon
Maybe I shouldn't post this, I truely don't want to offend anyone but something happened today and I've got mixed feelings about it....and I know my girls will get it. So, I met this lady today and she had a tattoo of a pink survivor ribbon on her arm. I asked, did you have BC? She said, "no, I thought I did". Needless to say, I was very curious at this point, long story short, she goes on to say she had a lumpectomy but it was negative and her breast is mis-shaped now. When did having a negative lumpectomy mean you're a survivor. I don't know maybe I'm being to critical but it seems they have glorified this pink campaign so much that everyone is running out and jumping on board. I just don't get it.
Comments
-
I don't want to be critical either, but that would have irked me, too. I hate to think of having BC as an exclusive "club", but a negative biopsy is hardly the same thing as a diagnosis.
That said, if she is raising some awareness as a result of her experience, that's not a bad thing...
I hear you, Jenny. -
I don't see the 'pink ribbon' as a sign of 'Survivor' but as a sign of Breast Cancer support. Personally I don't wear pink (except during Oct) and never have since I was old enough to pick out what I wear. Hubby and Son both wear 'Tough Enough To Wear Pink' bracelets all the time and both have several T-shirts with pink ribbons on them and different sayings. Son's GF also has T-shirts with pink ribbons on them.
As I see it - the pink ribbon is to raise awareness about breast cancer which it does when anyone wears it publicly. There are so many myths and misconceptions about it that any time others can be educated because it attracts attention/comments/questions. -
I HATE the pink ribbon, for that matter anything pink really. Just a matter of preference to me. Never been a "pink" kind of gal. I wear black a lot (I work retail ) and drive a black car. And October drives me NUTS! Especially when my journey just began. I was dx in September and had to wait out all of October before my surgery. Pink EVERYWHERE. UGHHHH!!!!
Take care,
Sharon
-
Oh...I'm with you 100%. A tattoo to just raise awareness? Nah. I'm going to say it....she got freaked out, thrilled with the result and found attention from others that she couldn't let go of. Its totally irritating.
-
That is a cry for attention, not a call for awareness. Awareness, ashmareness....we need less pink ribbons and more curing going on.
-
Ok, Really????? I am just going to say it, THIS IS A EXCLUSIVE CLUB!!!! You are a survivor of breast cancer or you are not!!! If I were her I would not even want that on my arm, a reminder of what she could actually have to face someday.......If only they new how devistating it really is... I feel like it is trivilized.... I am sorry do what ever you want to your body but, I would not wish this journey on my worst enemey, I really don't have a worst enemey but, if I did......... People have no clue!! I am sorry, thats how I feel.........
The only time I wear pink is on my lips!!!!!
Not big on the pink thing..... Its painful and brings back dx days, I too was dx in sept. Pink everywhere........It was great at first but, soon you realize its like halloween, a holiday!!! They love to bring awarness but, then thank God it's us and not them!!!! I know this because I was that person.....You can never truley understand.....unfortunetly, you have to walk the path to really get it......I guess we can't blame the ignorent....Its bliss............Sorry, little pissed sometimes.....
love all my warriors out there......!! xo what a ramble, Geez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
steph
-
I totally get it. I do appreciate sincere efforts to promote breast cancer research, but the pink gets a bit overbearing as well asthe degree of drama that is involved in breast cancer. Sometimes I also call bull$hit on the whole BC awareness thing... I find for some it's a cry for attention.
I had a similar experience not too long ago with an aquaintance, and I felt a little guilty having the same thoughts, so I'm glad you posted this!
-
I am not offended with your post at all. In fact, I love it. I plan on watching the documentary on the pink ribbon when it comes to Pittsburgh, PA. I can not tell you how offended I would have felt after hearing that story. Clearly, clearly that woman has fallen to all the gimic's of the pink ribbon. But really, it is not her fault and we shouldn't hate her for this.
She has no idea of the real horror, pain and sadness that having breast cancer and being treated for Breast cancer brings to not only us but our families, our relationships, our children, etc...etc....And to be on here and see women every single day progressing to an incurable stage and what they go through. And then to see that ribbon everywhere in October, and women smiling and dancing, with their hands in the air! Urghhhhhhh...I used to love Fall...
And those pink glove dances, where everyone is happy. I have thought of making my own video of a pink glove dance. I would have images of mothers portraits held by the children they left behind, and then I would have a tunnel of these children wearing pink gloves, and then someone running through the tunnel and painting black on all these pink gloves and then throwing them in a pile to represent all the lives lost to breast cancer.
And to see thousands upon thousands of women and families walking in the Komen Race, and all the sponsors taking advantage of the numbers to sell their product and still NO CURE!!!!
Honestly, I think Komen does a lot for breast cancer. But they could do SOOOO much more. Last year, I walked. I bought into the pink thing. I got a pink boa, hats, etc....I made it fun. But guess what? When I got there, when I walked in the survivor parade..suddenly, there was nothing fun about it. I had to try with all my strength to not start sobbing, to hold it together so my small kids wouldn't see me in that state. This surprised me. I felt alone. I felt devastated. I came back after the walk and every one of the sponsors were packing up and leaving. Where was the celebration? Shouldn't I have been offered fresh fruit in the survivor tent and not doughnuts and other food loaded with high fructose corn syrup and preservatives?
Because of what I was wearing, I got an interview for TV. And what I said reflected my mood, it was not happy. It was sad. And they put the uplifting story on the news, not my sad story.
I stayed home this year. I decided I was not going to waste my day feeling sad for all of us who have this in their history. So getting a ribbon when you've never even had cancer is...well....sorry......but in all honesty it is just sad. I hope that this woman will never know why it is sad that she has that pink ribbon tattoo...
I remember there was a story of a woman with metastatic breast cancer who wanted to be buried in a pink coffin. They showed her standing next to the coffin, all painted nicely. This made her very happy.
I suppose it is really to each his own. This is just MY feeling on the pink ribbon and the color pink in regards to breast cancer.
-
Dang. Pink was always my favorite color. I look really good in it; I have outfits, accessories, purses, and even pink glasses.
Then came the BC dx.
Like pupfoster1, I was dx'd in September, and in October (pre-BMX) a BC-survivor friend invited me to the big Komen Race For The Cure/Survivor Celebration in town.
I felt like a fraud because I hadn't "survived" anything yet (but later found out it was a matter of semantics).
However, instead of being "inspired" by the "sea of pink", I found myself horrified. So many teams were dressed in wild costumes, acting happy and giddy and as if they were in the biggest party of the year. I asked some of them - quite a few groups had no one who was a BC survivor ...they were just there for "the cause."
So - were they really raising awareness? It made the 6:00 news, but did it make a difference? Or did it make them feel better about themselves?
Some of the groups WERE comprised of survivors. Many of the women were in active treatment, and the walk was a strain for them. It was wonderful to see the support along the way. If anyone hesitated or faltered, there were always many helping hands to assist.
Because I was wearing a Survivor Tshirt, everywhere I went, I was treated like Queen for a Day. I was handed tchotchkes and all manner of branded items, most of them straight from Oriental Trading Company. I got tote bags galore. I thought "What am I going to do with all this crap?"
Nothing about it seemed related to breast cancer, except for the monumental opportunity to advertise, capitalizing on Pinktober.
I'm going to have to do a lot of educating of family and friends before next October rolls around. They've bought into the whole Pinktober myth, and as much as I treasure their friendship and support, one more pink ribbon is not going to help me, with my small cancer, or the thousands of other women who really, really need a cure - NOW.
jennygboog - I totally get where you're coming from. It's like someone proudly wearing their Purple Heart medal, only to find out they were never in the military.
-
I get what you mean. It feels like it minimizes what we have gone through. Since being diagnosed I had a friend who had a "scare". For a whole hour she sat waiting for results of a mammogram and for a whole hour she thought she MIGHT have breast cancer. She called me later after finding out things were ok and said, "Now I know how you felt when you had chemo." REALLY???!!!!
People just don't undersand unless they have been through treatment. It's not their fault, they just don't have the experience that we have had. It still irritates me, though.
-
It's disgusting and it's a direct result of the pink ribbon and breast cancer being seen as this abstract cause that people feel good about contributing to rather than as a REAL disease with real consequences and real deaths. TheFuzzyLemon said it perfectly upthread. She had a scare and loved the attention it brought her. Now she wants to hang on to that. If it were about her having a scare and then wanting to be involved in the world of breast cancer, her tattoo wouldn't have labeled her a "Survivor". She should be ashamed of herself. There would've been a time when I would've kept my contempt for her to myself if I had been face-to-face, but those days are gone. I would've had a few choice words for her. To me, it almost smacks of Münchausen Syndrome.
-
Thanks everyone...I knew ya'll would understand. I thought the same thing about her liking the attention, I mean seriously why else would you do that...arghhhh! I've not done any kind of walk, Komen or Relay for Life...don't know if I'm ready or if I believe it's really for "us". What does it accomplish really, it raises money and makes people feel good about what they did. I don't think I like the way they make it seem like a celebration/party, maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way. Don't get me wrong, I privately celebrate everyday that I survived. Maybe I'm just scared of the emotions it would bring up that I've kept pushed down for a while. In her defense it was probably a dramatic experience and the worst thing ever for her but it dang sure don't make her a survivor. About a year before my dx a lady I worked with was dx, someone thought her first day back to work we should all be wearing a bandana just like she was due to her chemo. Well, we did it and she seemed to really appreciate the gesture. I've been there and understand, you want to do something, we did what we thought was supportive for her. Never in a million years did I think I'd be in her shoes a year later. Thanks again for making me feel normal
-
Listen I know a lot of ladies who hate the pink, and I know people, even people with mets who love it. I fall somwhere inbetween.
I have enjoyed the walks, I feel encouraged by them, but I would never force them on someone who found them upsetting.
In a smaller community it can be a nice way to meet other survivors in your similar age range.
I do know people who got the tatoos to support a family member. I can't ever imagine doing it myself, but to each their own.
I don't mind some of the sassier slogans and t-shirts, but again some women hate them.
We all parse this experience in our own ways.
-
Jennyboog - ALL do not agree with you - I don't and said so.
I hate the color pink and have since a small child (quit wearing anything pink as soon as I could have a say about what I wore).
This is the first time/place I've seen someone say that they thought only BC Survivors could show their support with a 'pink ribbon'. So sad.
Hubby and Son did not experience what I did through all TXs, by the same token I can't begin to comprehend what they did seeing me go through what I did. I firmly believe it was easier on me than them.
Some of the slogans on t-shirt/bumper stickers I'm not wild about but we are all different. As I said before, Hubby and Son have tees and wrist bands and I totally support them in wearing them. In a way, they are just as much Inflammatory Breast Cancer survivors as I am - different ways - it hit my body but they had to see what it did to me. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat rather than having to see either of them go through something similar.
How I feel. -
Kicks there is a vast difference between the support your family is showing you and someone who fortunately found she does not have BC getting a tattoo of a pink ribbon.
I'm thinking of wandering down into Austin this year for the ridiculous Komen hoopla but I need something not pink that roars about the lack of a cure or much if any money going to research for metastatic breastcancer.
Jennyboog, love your avatar. I've had a kitchen magnet of that for something like 30 years. -
I wish they had a like/dislike button on this forum it would make it alot easier.....I have no problem with color pink but those commercials radio and tv....round about end of Oct I've had enough...change the channel or whatever because I'm just so sick of hearing it.
-
Just a little more pink....
-
No one said that those who haven't been diagnosed can't be supportive, can't wear a ribbon, or can't wear pink. Of course I consider my family co-survivors.
What we said was there's something not right about someone who went through a scare who is thankfully ok and then labeling herself a survivor. That's not ok. Supporter, sure. Advocate, yes. Survivor, no. -
It's interesting, I just had a friend get called back for an ultrasound after a mammo, then got the all clear.
In our world that's a cakewalk, but to her it was a big deal. It took her to the scary place. And because it was not urgent she waited for a month.
Maybe the tattoo reminds the lady in question to be thankful for escaping the scare, and support others.
Maybe she felt a sense of community and support when she had the scare.
Or maybe she is a lost soul that has some sort of Munchhausen..attention seeking issues.
-
I don't think I could have said it any more plain or gentle when I said, "I truely don't want to offend anyone & I have mixed feelings about what happened". But I see I did, which seems to happen from time to time on here. Well, just as the few of you were offended I was offended by her considering herself a survivor when she survived nothing but a scare. It was not my intention, I was just curious if I was alone in my feelings or if others had come across something like this before. By the way....it was not an awarness ribbon, it was a pink ribbon with survivor written across it.
-
Jennyboog: I'm with you and I am offended by her actions. It's not about awareness; she's claiming to be a "survivor" of a disease and she isn't. Thankfully she never had to experience it.
-
Funny thing about pink....would have worn in before BC as a show of support. But since BC? No way! Can't really explain why but just can't. As far as seeing the tattoo on a non survivor, it would have bugged me too.
-
jennyboog, I am not at all offended by your OP...I thought it was really interesting!
-
Jenny, You can express whatever you need too!!!! If people disagree, thats ok.....But, there is no room to respond rude to your post, they are your feelings and my feelings as well!!!!! We are a support system for each other , a safe place to talk about our feelings..........I being who I am might have asked the women with the tattoo, how much chemo she had!!! Or do you still have your breasts, do you have kids????......... and are you afraid you might not get to raise them........ You see I am a survivor too.....and I pray everyday that I will live to see my children grow up.............What do you think she would have said to me..............Sometimes its ok to say, BC is ugly and devestating, its not wraped in a pink bow!!!!!! If I have offeneded anyone, I don't mind if you don't...........xoxoxo
Love ya jenny.....
Steph
-
Personally I hope to get to a point in the future where BC isn't constantly on my mind. So WHY would I get a tattoo to keep me from forgetting for even an hour?
-
Thanks girls, I'm glad I'm not alone in my feelings. It's so hard moving on with life after BC, everything changes, everything is different...new emotions, feelings, stress level, etc. I can't imagine going through this without you all, thanks for being there and making me feel normal. Love ya'll.
-
I think we are such a diverse group (we can't even say of women) everyone goes on this cancer journey different and at very different levels. Who says the right way or the wrong way someone handles the journey. My husband always says we when he talks of our journey. I hope the women and men that wear the pink ribbon and have never had cancer touch their lives, that's as close as they ever get. That is is my prayer. I tattoed two roses and a pink ribbon over my port scar. I opened the ribbon to symbolize the cancer is gone. I tattoed two roses and my husband's name on my mastectomy scar. It is perfect for me but others won't approve I just didn't ask for any ones approval.
-
My daughter got a pink ribbon tattoo on her arm; it is so pretty. She helped design it with her tat artist. It says nothing, just a ribbon. When ppl ask her, she tells them it is to support me and her aunt (a three year survivor). My girl is a tattoo girl and has lots.
I will say, to have a "survivor" tattoo when your diagnosis was negative is a bit bothersome. But, whatever floats her boat. Glad she was negative, but for those of us who were postive, well, we fight with all we have.
Yes, Pinktober is overkill; it is marketing (but I do love the pinkribbon bagels at Panera!) to make companies money and to look better in theeyes of the mass market. Yet, it does put the word out there. I go to the Veterans Day parade; I am not a veteran. I support those who served to maintain my freedom. I read their stories and sometimes weep. I would NEVER wear a medal or claim to be a veteran, etc. yet there I am, watching the parade.
I walked in the Komen before my sister's diagnosis, I walked During her diagnosis and I will walk as a survivor this year. It makes the news and if ONE person, male or female, gets a mammo because of all the hullaballoo, then in my never-to-be-humble opinion, it is hype well-spent.
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team