Recurrence to internal mammary node - recovering from VATS

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CloserToFine
CloserToFine Member Posts: 9
edited June 2014 in Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis

Hi ladies - 

I had a VATS yesterday for an enlarged internal mammary node (in the chest under the breastbone) and it's a recurrence. The first time around in 11/2010 I had a Stage IIa Grade 1-2 ER+/PR+/Her2- IDC treated with mastectomy, negative SNB, and was on tamoxifen since then. Also had a TE and implant exchange in May. I was 29 at initial treatment and am 30 now. I'm definitely facing radiation and chemo but not sure yet in which order or when they'll start.

I know I should feel scared but instead I feel angry and tired. I can't believe this is happening again - I did everything you're supposed to do! Having a BMX wouldn't have changed anything since this is the same tumor back again on the same side. I also had a "wimpy" cancer as my MO called it (who I do like a lot, she's one of the best in the country) and nobody thought this had any chance of ever coming back. Oncotype was 17 so no chemo. I feel so bad for my husband too - we got engaged 6 mos before diagnosis and married last August after treatment, and now 6 months later recurrence and he has a newly bald burned wife in his future. He is amazing and loving and supportive and has done/will do so well with all of this but I feel so bad! He bought a lemon! 

Anyway I guess there's no point to this post but I wanted to say hi to those of you who are going through this hell too and to those of you wonderful enough to support us. If nothing else, at least we're all in this together!

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  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited June 2012

    Hi, CloserToFine.  I'm sorry.  This really sucks, and you must be reeling.  You and your husby will be in my prayers. 

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  • MiniMacsMom
    MiniMacsMom Member Posts: 595
    edited June 2012

    I completely empathise with the feeling bad for your hubby.  I am 28yrs old and IIIC found out after a marriage, a baby and new job and a new house that I had BC and then found out I was BRCA positive with no family history.  This is all part of the in sickness and in health.  It sucks that we are broken, but a great hubby will stand by you!

    I am sorry you are facing the internal mammary node.  I had multiple chest nodes at DX, we did 12 weekly taxol (with shrinkage of the largest in my armpit and complete disapearance of the IM nodes and Subclavicular nods).  Then 4 rounds of FAC (this is MDAnderson protocol) and a breast MRI showed no residual disease and no new disease.  So great response via the MRI.  I am waiting the pathology on my armpit nodes post chemo. Trust me it sucks.  If you have to do the chemo, its not fun but we made it through with a 17 mo-starting and now he is 23 month old.  Again, its not fun, but if whimpy old me can do it anyone can! 

    You'll definately get Chemo first, and they will start ASAP as long as you are healthy.  I started 3 weeks after my UMX and they wanted to start 2 weeks out but I went for a second opinion.  Then a few weeks of recovery and then 30-33 days of radiation every weekday is standard.  I am just about to start the rads phase.  If you have problems with chemo nausea definately ask for IV EMEND, its a lifesaver and if they give it to you via IV premeds, insurance pays for it. 

    Sorry for all the random info, I am just starting my chemo brain recovery.  We are definately here for yo!  Hit up the sub forum for young women under 40, there are quite a few of us hanging around.  Good luck and PM me if you need anything!

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  • CloserToFine
    CloserToFine Member Posts: 9
    edited June 2012

    Thanks sbelizabeth and MiniMacsMom! I'll post over the young women's forum too. The first time through BC I thought I was tough... feeling today like I don't have any gas in the tank to do this again! What makes me feel better is hearing from all of you, especially the tips for how to get through it. I'll be reading all the chemo/rads info forums all weekend (in between Celtics games!)

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  • Angelfalls
    Angelfalls Member Posts: 849
    edited June 2012

    Sorry to hear of your recurrence, but hopefully this will just be a little blip on the road to NED. Fingers and everything else crossed that your treatment will get you there soon.



    Take care, Angelfalls xx

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  • Josiekat
    Josiekat Member Posts: 85
    edited June 2012

    Hi Closer to Fine- (indigo girls reference?). I too had inter mammary nodes light up with my original diagnosis. I did 4) AC infusions and 12 taxol. I just had surgery and start rads in 2 weeks. After chemo my nodes no longer lit up, so feeling good about that. Chemo was totally do-able for me and I'm hoping to say the same thing about radiation. I too am under 40 and feel bad for my husband and young kids. No one signed up for this, but this is the life we are all live right now. I hope you sail through all the upcoming stuff.

    Take care & "Let's go Heat"!

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  • CloserToFine
    CloserToFine Member Posts: 9
    edited July 2012

    Hi Josiekat - It is an Indigo Girls reference! That song has seemed perfect to me since I was diagnosed in terms of how much we all wish there were answers but there are none, and the more we accept that, the closer we are to fine. I'm so glad to hear your nodes responded well to chemo and I hope rads goes well for you. Hats off to you for taking care of your kids through all of this - it's hard enough for those of us without kids, you deserve a medal!

    I still won't know my plan til the end of the week when all the oncologists get back from ASCO in Chicago, *sigh... they better be working on a cure out there!

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