Back to Work. Nervous!

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Janet_M
Janet_M Member Posts: 1,068
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

Hi - (I posted this topic on another thread- but now I'll try here as well).

I'm going back to work on Monday and I'm freaking out. I was up at 4:30 this morning because the reality hit me that I was going to have to face people I haven't seen in eight months. I freelance, so there are often big time lapses between seeing somoeone, but this time I look different. Particularly since I have very short hair on a head that needs something longer. Nobody knows why I've been out of the loop.

I'm so at home in a hospital setting where there is quiet understanding of red chests and short hair, and I feel like I'm being kicked out of the nest. More appropriately - I feel like the kid who is being dropped off at camp! Kicked out of the family sedan, and stuck in new surroundings with people I'm are too shy to talk to. 

Ladies - how do you psyche yourself up for these siutations? Any secret pyschological weapons? Or - am I just making too big a deal? 

Thanks,

Janet 

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  • Racy
    Racy Member Posts: 2,651
    edited May 2012

    Hi Janet M, I have some idea how you feel as my situation was similar, except I hid my diagnosis by wearing a wig exactly like my hair used to be so that noone would know about my cancer.



    You should first decide if you intend to tell people about your diagnosis. If you wish to keep it confidential but are likely to receive questions or comments about your absence or appearance, you should plan how you will respond and have your response ready.



    I'm not sure of the status of your employment but if you are at a regular workplace it might help you to meet with a trusted colleague or management before you actually return, or, given that your return is imminent, ask for a meeting on Monday. You may feel more confident if you know what's been happening at work while you've been away. Also, if there is a trusted someone who can act as a 'buddy' to support you, that may also ease some of your anxiety. You may want to tell management if you prefer not to discuss your situation, so that they can alert staff to your preference.



    It's a little hard to give more specific suggestions without knowing more about your work arrangement.



    Remember, you don't have to reveal anything that you don't want to.



    Also, dress well so you look and feel at your best.



    Good luck to you.

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  • NCbeachgal
    NCbeachgal Member Posts: 181
    edited May 2012

    Janet-hello and I know how you feel. First, I have read a bit of your blog and it's great. Now topic at hand, I went back to work a week ago and it's been tough. I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep, 46, ok looking, petite (lost a few pounds during chemo and trying to maintain that) but not extremely fit (pilates and an occasional walk). I call on physicians and their staff with bi-weekly(ish) sales presentations. My colleagues and competitors are mostly attractive twenty somethings who ALL have hair. It has been so hard greeting customers looking like someone besides the person I was the last time they saw me. Some of my customers haven't seen me since early November of 2011. Most of my customers have no idea why I've been gone, just that I disappeared for a while.

    I wear business attire to work and it is crazy putting on a dress/business suit and wedge hills as a bald gal. It looks way f*cked up even with a scarf/hat combo. So far, I haven't worn a wig because it's so hot crawling in and out of a hot car. Oh, and my eyelashes that hung in through my last chemo on April 17th are now falling out and have hideous gaps between the pitiful hairs that remain. Mascara is a joke. It hurts my heart to look in the mirror.

    The customers that I saw last week couldn't have been nicer or more supportive. My boss has been amazing through this and I have her full support. I hope the same for you.

    So far I've only focused on my appearance but my energy level has been good even though I started radiation on the same day I returned to work. 5 down-28 to go and I'll have herceptin every 3 weeks for a year. The treatments continue.

    Good luck as you return to work. Wear something that's comfortable and makes you feel good. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

    Angie

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  • SelenaWolf
    SelenaWolf Member Posts: 1,724
    edited May 2012

    I'm returning to work in a week and - so far - I feel excited.  I work in an all-female office and everyone there knows what I've been going through, so I don't feel any awkwardness about returning.   What worries me is that I work in the death-care industry and I'm unsure how I'm going handle helping people plan burials.  I figure that one of two things will happen: I'll either have a deeper understanding of what they are going through or I'll simply be unable to deal with the raw emotion.  So... that makes me a bit nervous...

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