December 2009 Rads Group

So sorry Valerie I'll be thinking of you   try to have some good family time and stay positive

Its cancer, again. I meet with the team of doctors on Monday and find out what the plan is. Here we go again.

OH NO! Oh, Valerie, I'm so sorry you're back fighting the cancer again. You got dealt a tough hand. Don't forget you're an experienced fighter; a veteran.  You got through this before, you can do it again. Grrrr!

Good luck with the meeting on Monday and keep us posted. I hope that they find it and get rid of it with a minimum of ordeal for you.  

Will be thinking of you. Be kind to yourself.

Bonnie 

I met with the surgeon and chemo doctor. I have to have a MX next month. I'm hoping for reconstruction at the same time. Then I will have 8 chemo treatments or 4 month of chemo. I cried, I asked why and I demanded things my way. The cancer that I have now is a different triple negative cancer and not a recurrence from the last one. I have to do genetic testing too. I'm scared.

I get a mammo once a year. Nothng showed up on my last mammo 9 months ago. I complained of a buringpain similar to a branding iron pain inside my breast. The breast was a little hard from being in pain but there was no lumps. The chemo doctor checked that out and found nothing. She said if the pain continued to let the surgeon know. One month later the surgeon felt two lumps. I don't know how it grew in one months time. I don't have a birads rating.

I am very overwhelmed and very angry and depressed. Too many emotions to list. I think scared is another one. I just want to curl up and not move. Today I babysit. She is almost 6 months old and a sweetie.  After 21/2 years I was just starting to feel like my old self, leaving go of some of the barbaric hospital experience and now I am dealing with it all over again maybe worse. 

I had ultrasound first and then the mammo. The radiologist came in the room to watch them do the ultrasound. It felt like I was in that room for a half hour. Next was the mammo and 7 pictures were taken (3 then 2 then 2 more on small plates).

Today I feel a lot of anger, why me, depression, anger and crappy. I understand what they said I don't get the why. This sucks!

Valerie have you gotten any news about the results of your tests? I have been worried about you.

Renee

Just checking on you Val, hope after this upcoming surgery you can get back to recovery and get this behind you for good!!!...That is so crazy how no lumps and then there were 2, I always thought that these tumors took years to get big enough to be able to actually feel them...

Hey Renee, hope all is well and you landed a great job....

Hi Valerie, 

It's great that you have a "Let's Get On With It" vibe going as you approach the surgery.  That's go to help. Hopefully the PS will be there so you can just do it all at once. But you're right - what ever. Just get the breast off. Are you having a double or single? 

It's scary your lumps grew so fast. I wish they would figure out cancer.  

I'm thinking of you as you go through this. You have had a hard go of it.

Bonnie 

Wow, I almost gave up looking for my group, I don't think I like this new format...Very confusing...Just glad I could at least find you guys and will be checking on you Veggy through your upcoming weeks....J

Val I see u were to have surg for a mast on the 15 th and today is the 18th. Just Wow!!! I'm so sorry words can't say. I hope to hear from u soon enuff!! Thinking of u. Hope all is well and u found another plastic surgeon. Big hugs sweeety.

Jewly I did get a job it's on midnight shift and I hate the hours. Love being a nurse just wish I could find a day shift job being a nurse manager. Thanks for the concern and prayers ladies

I changed surgeons and hospitals. Its a long story. As you know I walked out on the PS. I meet with my new team May 23. I am feeling a lot better about this whole experience. Not as angry or upset.

Two weeks until surgery.

I went to bed a little early last night. Now I am awake and starving.

Tuesday I got all marked up for surgery. We got a hotel room and stayed the night. We found a chinese restaurant and ate. I was able to sleep with the help of my anti-anxiety meds. 

I got to the hospital early on Wednesday They took me to a private room to register. They had me and my DH walk to the operation area and we hugged and hugged once more. I walked to the OR room and froze in the doorway. That's when I got nervous. I was in surgery for 4.5 hours. I woke up in the recovery room. I didn't get sick. I heard the nurse say that my husband could come in and then I went back to sleep. 

They took me to my room and the nurses were in and out all night. I'd sleep for 5 minutes and wake up. I had a catheter. I never had one in my life. I must have drank 3 pitchers of water suring the night. I had no problems... just felt like a truck ran over my chest. I had a normal diet and kept everything down. I was up and walking on Thursday.

The nurses were wonderful and so was the surgeons. My mom and dad and some friends came down on Thursday. They were surprised to see how good I looked.I haven't looked at myself yet. I'm not brave enough. I have to massage my TE's downward as much as possible. 

They released me on Friday. The plastic surgeon wanted me to go home and get some rest. My room mate and her family were very loud. My youngest son came with my DH. He just held on to me. My older son stayed home to help straighten up the house. His choice. 

I have to take little walks today, drink lots of fluids and use this stupid breathing machine to exercise my lungs.  Tuesday I'll find out from pathology information on the cancer. I'm not going to worry myself about that. Right now I just want to grab some toast and have a little bit to eat. Then I'll go back to bed.

Love you all!

Hey Valerie so sorry I wasn't here when you had your surgery but my home internet has been down due to a bad modem.  It's fixed now.  How are you doing? 

How are you Jewly?  Hope you are both having a decent summer. 

Valerie I know having surgery sucks but things will get better over time. 

Hugs to all

Renee