March 2012 chemo

On vacation- OMG. That is terrible. I am so sorry to hear about your friends.

Lanagrave- cheesecake, ummm you are making me hungry. I am back into the food cravings phase of Tx

Kltb04- I have also not got m periods yet. Only 24 days out but the last few were 21 days apart. Also ultrasound results showed everything was fine with uterus and ovary. When are you planning your up trip to New Orleans. I can't decide if I can do a vacation as I am not sure what Taxol holds. Monday is your last AC! Yeah one phase nearly done.

Masserz- thanks of the hair tip.

Sissydi- isn't Monday your first Taxol- herceptin. Hope it is much easier on you.



Finished tx #3 last week. Could not do much for three days and was catching up with work for the rest of the time. Things feel under control today. So back to posting.

Tx 4...check

wiener in dirt...check

tamoflaxin (or whatever the hell it's called) rx on hand...check

Funny thing for the day, pharmacist (who cares about spelling right now) was telling me about taking tamo.  he warned me it may cause some hair loss.  I responded BWAHAHA!  I laughed most the way home.

Love to everyone.

Sorry about your news onvacation and about your dad, hope his surgery goes well.  During my cancer saga both my mom and SIL had strokes and my grandma just had to have a pacemaker put in.  Fun.

Well I am off to take my weiner out of the dirt and put it in bed. 

Horrible day here.  After poking and prodding on the rib area where I have the discomfort/slight swelling, I found a lump last night.  It is movable and I am hoping it is just a cyst or a lipoma or something but I am beside myself with worry.  After putting 3 calls into the MO office for a nurse to call me back, I finally talked to one, just to be told that they would note it in my chart and I could talk to MO about it when I go in for chemo Monday.  Common sense tells me that nothing tumor wise should have grown there from the time I had the xrays in April to get that large...and that my chemo should be keeping anything cancerous from growing.  I just am sick about this.  I have to get through 4 days of wondering what she will even say/do including a school picnic tomorrow and my mom's birthday on Saturday. 

I read 20 pages of posts last night where people have posted about lumps and things and they almost always were benign but the stress is too much.  I just cannot deal with the constant uncertainty.

Hello everyone, just checking in.  Been off the site for awhile, crazy busy.  I think part of me just wanted to forget about bc for awhile, also.  I am still losing eyelashes despite my one chemo treatment... weird. And hair regrowth has been pathetic.

Found out today I have been walking around for 2 weeks with a broken right arm!  I was trying to loosen a shelf by ramming upwards with my arms, and I tore the ligament and some bone off the radius of my right arm. Seeing an orthopedic doctor tomorrow to see if I need surgery. It's always something!

Hugs to all still finishing chemo.

Amy

PS, Karri we still need to have lunch.  Love your avatar! 

klt

I know its hard not to worry. Hopefully the MO can shed some light on Monday.  Hang in there

lost

Its amazing how much crap we hang onto isn't it.  I did some sorting but stil  have a bit more to do yet.  Last week I did the front h.all closet, got a whole bad of shoes that were essentially garbage.  Why did it take me so long to do that? Today was a cupboard where I keep plastic containers, shopping bags etc.  Now I can actually find stuff and  see whats in there!

mmm cheesecake.  I'm proud to say I didn't have one chocolate bar all week!

Kit - I had same thing happen...turned out to be a cyst.  It is hard not to worry, but try to hang on to the thought that the majority of lumps/bumps are benign.

Seems like everyone is losing weight...I'm gaining a ton.  Well, 7 lbs so far since the start of chemo and its not water weight.  I'm ravenous all the time.  Before chemo I was never hungry...probably in part due to anxiety of Dx.  I was down to near my high school weight.  Now I can't stop thinking of food, even when my tongue feels like sandpaper.  And I all I want is stuff that is bad for me...sugar and fat.  Am I the only one?  I hope these cravings end when chemo ends or I'm in trouble.

Masserz

Don't feel bad. These are little jobs that took no time that I should have done ages ago.  In a weird way since being DX I tend to get to these things now vs procrastinate like I used to.

Thanks all - I am pretty much still in obsession land but resolve to not "mess with it" the next few days and see if the swelling will go down so it doesn't present any worse on Monday...if I keep at it, I will break a rib myself...

klt

Hang in there baby!  Monday will come around very soon. I know its hard not to stress and I think we will all stress about such things for many years to come.  If anything it will make us super diligent about getting things looked at that we may have blown off prior.

Lost

I wonder about how long the steroids hang out in our system. Today I'm up like 3 pounds since DX but I can swing 5 pounds either way depending on if I'm holding water or not even before DX.  I was so proud of not eating anything sweet all week but I made a banana bread last night and had a nice big piece.  Hey, its got fruit in it right?  LOL!  I do reduce the butter it calls for along with the sugar and use 1/3 whole wheat of the flour it calls for. Have tried with all whole wheat and it tastes like crap.  I only make it once a month or so when I need to use up the brown bananas.  I used to add ground flax seed too but now with being ER+ I don't do that anymore.

Well lets all enjoy our long weekend.  I know its Memorial Day in the US for us in Canada its Victoria Day. More affectionly know as 'May 2-4. It was always celebrated on May 24th, but at some point was changed to the 3rd weekend in May. The 2-4 part comes from a 24 case of beer to celebrate Queen Victoria's Birthday I guess LOL!

Hi Lynn

I can't speak to the back/liver  pain but I was having issue with leg pain/soreness up until this week.  I'm just ahead of you at exactly 4 weeks PFC and the soreness has pretty much subsided.  I think the steroids hang out for a bit mind you.  I too waiver with the 5 pound issue but I have to say I weighed my self just a while ago the 5 pounds is gone (for today anyway).  I just started Tamoxifen last Saturday so whether this has anything to do with it or the dropping of my chocolate bar habit and increasing my activity, who knows.  Likely all of the above.

You should call the MO though to put your mind at ease.

I just had my 2nd DD Taxol on Monday, and just like the 1st Taxol it is kicking my ass. Muscle and bone pains are terrible. Taste buds are more shot than ever. I wish I could say that Taxol is easier than the 4 rounds of A/C, but I can't. 

Also on Day #3 of Taxol, my throat was really swollen and the glands in throat area extremely tender. My throat was visibly swollen on the outside...bullfrog-like! Any suggestions about how to handle Taxol SE's? I've tried looking through topics about Taxol, but it sounds like most people find it easier than A/C. A/C was no walk in the park, but Taxol is horrible. No energy to do much of anything. At least with A/C, I had some energy in me.

I described SE's to my MO on Monday. She listened and said it sounded like I was doing really well. I guess anything other than dead is doing well. I hope those of you already on Taxol are doing better than I am. 

Kim - wohoo - sounds like fun times.  Do y'all still have to do car inspections to get your car tags renewed?  AR doesn't anymore - good thing too, you should see the crack in my van windshield.  I hear you on the hats. I wore my wig all day yesterday but I was just in and out...I about ready to change those vacation plans to somewhere cool but that would be a bit far to drive. 

Lynn - ugh on the pain - I guess I would say follow the 2 week rule or obsessively research on the internet like I do   I would say your fatigue is likely still just chemo still leaving your system.  Call to the MO might ease your mind though.  Is it constant?  My pains that I get (besides my vague discomfort) are all random and "sting-ish" - I have read that could be nerve pain?  

fedfan - so sorry you are having such issues with Taxol - I know lanagraves started a thread asking about it and there are a couple on that one that are having just as bad or worse SE than A/C.  I am going to be on taxotere which is related and some have switched to during Taxol - might be worth an ask.  When I asked my chemo nurse the difference she said to ask my MO and I haven't had a chance...she said the only thing she knew was that they were equally effective but Taxotere tended not to incur the initial allergic reactions that Taxol might. 

MLB - glad those 5 lbs are gone again...props to you for doing so well with your eating (says the girl with the hostess cupcake, )  

lost - hope you had fun with friends yesterday escaping the farm for a bit.

Trying to not to obsess too much here - I have been taking 1/2 a xanax and it does seem to take the edge off without zoning me out.  Yesterday, I went to awards assembly for youngest dd school and then in lieu of the picnic took her shopping for some summer clothes and out to Chick Fil A.  This is their second picnic in 3 weeks and the park they were going to is about 2 miles from our house, no shade and little equipment so she liked her alternative.  She got 3 new outfits, a swimsuit, some art supplies and a toy out of the deal, Then DH took her to see The Avengers.  He was going to go with a friend who backed out, my bro (who is his usual bromantic movie date) had seen it, so he needed someone to go with and she said sure why not!

On the picnic, I just didn't want to be out in the heat first of all and I also didn't want to go through all the "how ARE you" conversations with other parents and teachers.   Everyone I walked by yesterday, up to and including the principal, gave me that sympathy look and arm touch. I am so not good at just saying "fine" when I really want to say "well, I found this lump on my ribs and I am really worried about it and so yeah, not so great"  Which of course, I don't.  I am awful, I know.  These are good people and I know they are concerned but I just don't want to go into my health with everyone I pass in the halls.

Every time I go to the school, it just reminds me of what was.  Don't get me wrong...as I said before subbing was not my bag but when I did it long term last year, it was my life for awhile. Plus I have been volunteering at the school ever since my oldest started even before I worked there so I pretty much know all the teachers and staff.  And every time I walk in that building, I think "this time last year, I was in so and so's class and life was normal". 

But on the flip side, I was so mad/hurt/upset last year that I didn't get a full time teaching job.  They had some openings and I didn't get an interview (as with all things sometimes it's not what you know it's who you know around here and what coach's wife needs a job, or so and so's neice just graduated, you know).  But then I think, if I had gotten my first full time teaching job in years and then had to quit or go on long term leave in February, how awful would that have been.  So, in a way it was fate, providence, something (I don't use the old "God's will" thing because I don't think it is God's will for anyone to get this dreadful disease but that is a matter for another thread).

Ok, that's all for now - birthday party for my mom later today.  Just us and bro/sil/kids so no need to put on fake feelings for them.  My mom and SIL get to hear me obsess and reassure me on a daily basis

I bet after reading this y'all are thinking "damn, it's better on the days when she is out of her mind with worry and doesn't want to 'talk' and type out these novels in post form...."

Ugh - I hate waiting...I am so used to waltzing in places - even my drs appts.  I had to wait about 10 minutes to go in for labs a few weeks ago and nearly lost my mind. 

Thanks for the responses re: my back pain. An update--after my run yesterday I was in some pain but I figured the benefits outweighed it. Running help keeps me sane. Got home leaned on the counter and heard a pop sound with an ouch feeling in my lower rib. Got X-rays late yesterday but pretty sure I cracked a rib. Must be the bone mets making them weak. Just one more reminder of this whole bc thing.



I love hearing about the kids stories whether the kids are 7, 17 or older. That's one thing to take our minds off of this. Thanks for sharing them. I totally understand the sympathetic stares and the lingering hugs. People mean well but sometimes it's too much.



Sometimes i'd like to respond to how are you with-- well I've had chemotherapy, my bones are cracking, I'm going to have a mastectomy, my body has no freaking estrogen anymore, and I'll probably be having radiation in another month. Other than this whole cancer thing I'm really great. And you?



I have to say that I usually just say I'm fine and smile and nod.



If I look at it one way it can be pretty humorous. It's our choice how we all deal with this and some days I can be upbeat and optimistic while other days not so much.

Lynn - are you taking any treatment especially for your bones?