January 2012 chemo

Nancy hugs back to you My RO is following me now until the rads are done. Next month I have a mammo of the left breast and then back to the Mo to take a pill for 5 years

Nancy - I agree with Jenn. It sounds weird that the only follow up would be an annual exam, especially since you're in a clinical trial. I also agree with you about the strange feeling of being cut loose after chemo. I've still to go through surgery, etc., but even meeting with the surgeon with no plans, as far as I know, to ever see my medical oncologist again, feels like being tossed onto a desert island with a very small survival kit. That's why, I suspect, we'll continue to check in with each other here. I, too, have gotten a tremendous amount out of being on this forum.

Jenn and everyone else still suffering from their last chemo treatments - I'm 12 days out from my final treatment, still feeling some effects, but feeling so bad about the severity of yours. You're like marathoners crawling to the finish line. We all are. You'll get there, and you'll get your medal. 

 Annie 

Peggy and Jennifer,

Wishing you a Happy Belated Birthday, and good health for many, many years to come!!



I couldnt agree more with what Nancy and Jennifer said, it sure seems like cancer is so much more prevalent these days then it used to be. Like you, growing up, I also do not recall knowing any (not one!!!) person who had cancer and /or died of cancer. Nor does my mother! Other than maybe due to a car accident, everyone in my family and my mom's circle of friends died from "old age". Despite the fact that everyone smoked and drank a lot more alcohol in the 60s and 70s.



Not so these days. My children had several friends' moms die of breast cancer just these past two years. One lady's children were 6 (twins) years old at the time, the other lady's children were 5 and 9. One of my DH cousins was recently diagnosed with bc at age 29, and another one with uterine cancer at age 25. It is not "normal" for all these young women (and men) to get these cancers. It just isnt.



As in regard to follow up care, Nancy, I feel the same way. While I am really tired of seeing doctors, it's also extremely scary to me to not get regular follow-up screenings. What adds to it is that I have not been pronounced NED after surgery and chemo, which REALLY bugs me. But on the other hand, I have not had any scans (ordered by my "cancer treatment team") since before surgery last year. Even if I had mets, they wouldn't know, because scans are not part of the "standard protocol" for someone with my pathology?! - And even with all the pain I have been experiencing over the past few months, they "put it off" to chemo SE; Some " normal", some "rare". End of story. I am very disheartened with the medical industry right now, particularly with my treatment at this" top rated facility". - Sorry for the ranting, just having one of those non-pms "PMS" days today!!! ;-)



Hugs to all, especially Pc-barbie!!!

Peggy:  I find I drop alot of things, too.  The neuropathy in my fingers isn't necessarily painful; someone described it as "buzzing" and for me that's a perfect description.  I can't seem to tell how hard I'm holding on to some things, so I'm dropping dishes and t-shirts and books.  For weeks now it's only been in my thumb and first two fingers; now it's moving down to my ring finger, too - but just at the tips.  Surprisingly, my nails don't hurt anymore, but they do appear to be lifting so I don't open pop-top cans or do anything that would normally use my fingernail for leverage.

For those of you lovely ladies nearing the end of your tx, hand in there!! It does get better. I'm 2.5 weeks out from my last tx of Taxol and the slight neuropathy I had is slowly going away. It seems to be more prevalent at night when I'm tired. Other than that, I have no complaints. I'm almost feeling pre-cancer "normal" - except for being bald. If I didn't have to start rads on Thursday, I feel like I could put this all behind me.

Hang in there!!!

I love this thread.  Even though I'm technically a chemo-er with a start date of March 1, I come here to read your posts.  You guys really get into the nitty gritty of the chemo.  I hope you dont mind this observer.  I have finished 4 AC DD and 2 of 4 Taxol DD.  My symptoms are much like NancyH's, so her words have been especially helpful.

Personally, I'm finding Taxol much harder than AC due to the pain (I've learned to manage, somewhat, with hydrocodone.)  Now my right hand is going numb. I wouldn't call it neuropathy as I've had that, slightly, in my feet, pre-chemo, but numbness that I can't shake out.  Will this go away?? Can anybody comment on the timing - i.e. for me it started up shortly after Taxol #2.  Will it go away as I approach Taxol #3?? Ofcourse I realize we are different, but looking for your personal experiences.

Thank you 

Hi all,

Sitting at my work desk and so can type much better than when I'm usually on my iPad...

Congrats Denise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That last one must feel so "good" (sort of...).

Kam - I certainly don't mind you popping in and getting inspiration. I must admit I read the threads from other months myself and each group does seem so different. Other groups seem much more chatty in terms of social stuff. I wish I could provide more info on social stuff but my life right now doesn't seem to include anything much social. It's just hospital, home and work.  I did get to go to the movies 2 weeks ago which was my first outing (apart from the supermarket) in months.

I normally wander up to the hospital on Thursdays to do my weekly bloods before chemo on Fridays but tomorrow I have an early appointment with my MO (9.15am) so in order for her to get my bloods results I wandered up there today.

I emailed them yesterday to let them know that I am feeling very anaemic and am sure my lips are more blue than pink these days and I'm more breathless than I remember ever being. I'm worried that the Herceptin has already affected my heart function :-( So they added additional blood tests today and I had to fill something like 7 tubes! I think the MO might be organising for me to have my next MUGA a bit earlier than usual as well. It should be not for another 3 weeks but the nurse mentioned it to me today when I was up there and was talking about scheduling it.

I am finding now that my energy levels flag very quickly and I'm trying to make sure that I eat something with protein in it every few hours. Just had a healthy egg salad sandwich on my way back from the hospital and have a chicken and vege soup ready to heat up this afternoon. If I don't eat I suddenly find myself feeling like I could slide onto the floor!

I have 3 more Friday Taxol/Herceptin treatments to go including this coming Friday. I have told my boss that I will struggle through next week like I've been doing but then will take the whole of the following week before my last treatment off and half of the following week. I just can't see me being able to keep up even this reduced pace to the end.

regards Jenn

Denise - Congratulations on your final Taxol!!  10 more days...I'm counting every second, I swear...

Kam - Glad you stopped by!  My fingers started going numb (or humming or buzzing) shortly after my second Taxol treatment.  They got a little better before the third, then a couple of days later were a little worse than before.  That seems to be the pattern so far.  It's not unbearable, and since I notice a time of "getting better" I have faith this won't be permanent.  Or so I hope.

Jenn - So glad you're able to take time off to take care of yourself.  Some days are just so hard, but we get through them because...well, because it's who we are.  But you'll get better, faster, if you have time to rest your body and your mind without worrying about the world around you.  Even for a few minutes.  I hope your time off helps.

It's a long story, but my 26-y-o son has been hospitalized this last week; this morning he had a port-a-cath surgically installed and started dialysis.  They'll be implanting a fistula for long-term dialysis until he can be matched for transplant.  So it's been a difficult week - and I got hit by the Taxol truck this treatment.  I had to go to work today and class tonight, and I finally told me teacher I was leaving after two hours.  I couldn't do it anymore.  My brain won't work; my body is on fire, I still had an hour's drive home, and I really wanted to see my son.  She was so kind; she reminded me that I am the student who *never* takes time off - I have not missed a class or a day of work during my entire treatment, when other students don't think twice about not showing up.  She reminded me that I am always there for everyone else, and it was time for me to be there for...me.  That's been a hard lesson for me to learn throughout all of this, but maybe it's the best lesson - it's okay for me to take care of myself.  

More hugs coming your way, Nancy.

Nancy - I'm impressed beyond words that you haven't missed a day of work or school since chemo began. That's true grit, because you haven't had an easy time of it. But I'm also a big believer in cutting ourselves some slack during this time, mainly because my partner has been convincing me of that during my own journey. I hope that whatever time you do take for yourself you take without second thoughts or any of that guilt that has plagued me since chemo started. As if I'm supposed to be the same productive person I was before my diagnosis. I'll get back there, but I'm just not at that level when my body is this beat up.



I'm also sorry to hear about your son. That's another two ton worry.



I'm now two weeks since my last chemo and to me it feels like my fatigue is as bad as it's ever been. Maybe I notice it more because I'm otherwise feeling okay. Last night I made an appearance via Skype at a book club in Texas. I really had to psyche myself up for it; all I wanted to do was climb onto the couch and snooze. It went okay, though. At the end I doffed my cap so they could all see my bald head and that drew a round of applause. They were a nice group of women.



Annie

Nancy, my MO said that if we lived in California, that he would've prescribed medical marijuana for me. It's not legal here in Illinois, so he gave me the pill instead. My pharmacy doesn't have it, but one about 15 minutes away does. We'll see if I go get the prescription filled. He said there wasn't a guarantee it'd work anyway -- that in his experience it typically doesn't so that's why he waits to see if other meds work first before he resorts to trying it. I have my 3rd AC on Monday, so I figured by Tuesday or Wednesday I'll have made the decision to get the prescription filled or not. The nausea was pretty bad this last go 'round but has eased up the last couple of days, so I guess that's why I'm not in too big of a hurry to decide.

Hi Ladies,

I do not post much but i read all of your posts everyday. It helps me alot to get through this horrible diesease. I feel for all of you. hugs to all !!! I am reaching out today becuase I feel very in the dark about my treatment . You all have so much info and all I really no is i am er/+ pr/+ her2 -  stage III left breast only. i had ac X 4 and taxatere x 4. I have one chemo left on the 30th of may.  So they called yesterday to set up sugerey... Needless to say i am freaked out.  i need more info on my choices and what questions i need answered. i guess they assumed i am just going to do double max without questions... not gonna happen. If there is any one out there similar to me i would love to chat more.  My name is laura and i posted a while back. thank u for all of you inspiration through all of this.  I was laid off my job no husband and kids are teenagers so u no i am the last thing on their of things to do. My life has been very lonely through this and you all have helped a great deal even tough u don't no it.  I am horrible at typing so bear with me.  

Thank u to whoever can shed some light on me.

Laura 

I talked to my dad a little bit ago... He had a CT of his bladder last week after some tests showed blood in his urine, and they found a 7cm x 15mm mass in his ureter that is very suspicious of being carcinoma (he did some research and there's little else it could be).

W. T. F.

Before my sister passed of pancreatic cancer back in '05, there had been NO history of cancer in our family. Now 3 of us? I just don't know what to think. He's 75, and I know our risk grows as we age, but still. I'm a bit numb. And the timing? He's in CA and I'm here in IL. When they do surgery to remove the mass and biopsy it, I'm not going to be able to be there. Maybe that's okay though, because I know I don't want him here when I have my surgery -- I'll have enough to deal with. It's just... Man. 

I know this is off topic, so thanks for letting me vent.  I'm just so shocked. 

Nancy...I'm going to be really upset if my MO this Friday says were all done, have nice life.  I agree with you I want someone who's going to make sure I'm taking my meds, checkon me, tell me that everyone has these side effects and a 24 hours trauma unit so I know someone is there for me.  Oh and yes I lost my taste buds AGAIN around where you are now, maybe on the 4th Taxol it started..now going on the 12th it is far worse, and I finally have that nausea some many have had in the past...it started with the 10th Taxol.  I find that the cardboard taste can be masked by eating something that has a punch at the same time...like I hate BREAD all BREAD, but I can eat a sandwich if I eat Doritos at the same time.

Thanx everyone for all the hugs!  my brother is monitoring my nails...he lost a few in the past (Mechanic) and my husband is not so good with the nail issue.  I can't wait for the inflammation & Joint pain to go away, but I just finished reading up on the Tamoxofen and that has a side effect of inflammation too.  The Dex I get every week before Tax. is a inflamation suppressor, so I wonder what will happen on the Tamoxofen??

Well I'll worry about that later...2 more days to Friday and I'm done with Chemo....Except I'll be popping the Pain killers for 2 days after...finally done with the pain

Thanx for everyone listening to me whine (or scrolling through me)...I love you guys!!

Oy Vey Jen.  I hope it is nothing.  I worry that I might overdue sometimes even though no one has told me to be careful.  I am botherd mostly when I walk uphill so I try to take it really slow.  I'm afraid to make my heart race.

Barbie The taste thing is funny.  I can taste salty and sweet but bread, which I normally love, tastes yucky.  I still have one box of passover matza, which I love, but I can't eat it unless it is smeared with spicy hummous or guacomole etc.  At least I still have an appetite.

 Kirstin I'm sorry about your Dad's diagnosis.  G-d willing it will be something easy to treat.