Funny Quotes

I think these are all from Mae West!
"The best way to hold a man is in your arms.”

"Look your best--who said love is blind?”

“I speak two languages, Body and English.”

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”

"Cultivate your curves--they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.”

"Personally, I like two types of men--domestic and foreign.”

"I like a man who's good, but not too good--for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.”

"The score never interested me, only the game.”

"I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.”

“I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.”

"I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.”

“I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”

“Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.”

"Women are as old as they feel - and men are old when they lose their feelings”

“Don't cry for a man who's left you, the next one may fall for your smile.”

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it”

"Some women pick men to marry--and others pick them to pieces.”

“(During a trial in which she was accused of indecency on stage)
Judge: 'Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?'
Mae West: 'On the contrary, your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it.'