PANIC

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  • barbiecorn
    barbiecorn Member Posts: 437
    edited May 2012

    Every so often I feel panicky - not real panic attacks - just a panic feeling that I have BC - Does this ever go away????  I am post op - 3 months - maybe it is just too soon...I go for days okay, handling it all and then all of a sudden the depression and panic feeling are overwhelming.  Just when you think you are handling it all!!!! I am on Zoloft and that is not helping when these days pop up....I guess no amount of medication is going to change what has happened.  Have you ever felt this way and is it normal?  I try to help people posting here and yet sometimes I feel like I can't help myself...ugg!!!

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited May 2012

    Barbiecorn that panic feeling is quite normal particularly when you are so early into your treatment.  You will find that over time that paniced feeling will get more subdued and you will be able to handle it much better.  When you get that feeling, try taking some very deep breaths and try to concentrate on other nicer things.........it does help.

    Love n hugs.  Chrissy 

  • sewingnut
    sewingnut Member Posts: 1,129
    edited May 2012

    I will be a year PFC the end of May. I can tell you, I feel the same way you do. My cousin tells me it does get better with time. I call them the "cancer crazies". The nights my mind won't shut down I take Xanax to sleep.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2012

    barbiecorn- I think the feelings you described are felt by a lot of us- especially after treatment.  Before we're too busy dealing with BC itself- finding surgeons, choosing treatments/surgeries and healing from all that.  It's when that's all done that you truly start processing the emotions behind it all.  And it kind of catches you off guard because you feel like you've been handling things so well and have been so strong so why is this happening now?  There's lot of reasons for it- you didn't have the energy before because you were too focused on treatment, you tend to lose the support from family, friends and even our doctors who act like everything's back to normal now (when we know it will never be truly normal again) and BC is the "emotional cancer".  There's lots of losses associated with it- body image, femininity, intimacy, invincibility, etc.  There is the new fear of recurrence.  Not to mention the lingering effects of rads, chemo, anesthesia on top of it all.  I think it's amazing we do as well as we do.  Just be kind to yourself and know this is all normal.  I read that it can take about 2 years to fully process everything and I felt better when I saw that.  Sometimes it just helps to know that what you are feeling is normal.  I post on another thread where we talk about the emotional healing while just sharing about our lives, too.  It's really helped me a lot.  The title of it is "Great saying about depression" but it is not so much about depression as it is learning how to accept this new version of our life.

  • barbiecorn
    barbiecorn Member Posts: 437
    edited May 2012

    Thank you so much for your replies....You guys know exactly how I feel....I couldn't have described it better because you have been through it....all those feelings you spoke of is exactly what is going on in my mind...yesterday my daughter started crying because she is so afraid for me too..it touches everyone in the family...yes, it is the emotional cancer...so true....I feel so alone when I feel this way and when I get responses from my sisters...I feel loved and not alone...knowing that you have felt this way and that in time it will get better helps me so much....I can't thank you enough for picking me up when I am down and I hope I can do the same for my sisters when it is a good day for me...my love and hugs to you all!!!!!! 

  • barbiecorn
    barbiecorn Member Posts: 437
    edited May 2012

    Sewing Nut - Thank God for xanax...don't know what I would do without it when I feel this way...yes, like my mind won't shut down...now I know what to call it..."the cancer crazies"  -  (((hugs)))

  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited May 2012

    What you're describing is absolutely a common experience, and you said it so well .... that even though we try to help others, sometimes we feel like we can't help ourselves with certain aspects of this journey.  But I can tell you that it absolutely does get better, and that those moments of fear and panic eventually stop, especially as we start regaining our physical and emotional strength, and also as we start counting the years from our dx.  It just takes more time than anyone ever tells us in the beginning, but getting through it can also make you realize how strong you are.  So hang in there!  There absolutely is a light at the end of the tunnnel!    (((Hugs)))   Deanna

  • barbiecorn
    barbiecorn Member Posts: 437
    edited May 2012

    Thanks Deanna - when the Cancer Crazies (thanks Sewnut for my new word) - I feel that it shouldn't happen - that yesterday I felt okay and therefor should feel okay everyday but I guess it doesn't work that way.  Thank God I have you all to ease the feeling that I am going crazy (really)!!!  (((hugs))) Barbie

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