ROLL CALL -How do you handle your pity party

Nice bublebath with a large glass of red wine.Works everytime.

I am now seeing a psychiatrist and he said "Are you kidding? People PAY to make themselves cry!! All those chic flicks and movies like Titanic!!! Those are made to bring out emotions. You are lucky that you can feel real emotions. Let them come. Sob when you cry to validate your pain."

I found that SO helpful that one night while watching something sad on TV and quietly letting tears roll down my face, I said to my DH, Dr. M said I'm supposed to SOB when I cry. I tried a couple of sob sounds and then we burst out laughing. But the point was made. Now I validate my sadness. I have the right to be sad sometimes and the longer I hold it in, the worse it's going to get. And the better the chances that I'll react improperly to something small and then people will say I "over react"!!!!

I hope this all helps, sweetie. Hugs to you!!

By the way, meant to mention, it's a proven medical fact that you can't cry (with tears) for longer than 20 mintues!! That's a full-out cry-fest, not just a tear or two tricking down your face. If only more men knew this, surely they could hold us for 20 mintues? I bet they think it'll go on forever!!!!

My DH shuts up like a suitcase when I cry because I rarely do. I tell him just to hold me, but I hate having to tell him!! So I've learned to cry alone...sigh.

barbe1958--such interesting insight from your psychiatrist.

I haven't had a pity party since I can't remember when.  I stay busy and stay engaged in what I am doing, focusing on what interests me and what entertains me and what captures my attention. On some levels it truly pisses me off about the bc diagnosis.  Currently, tho, I don't want to spend my energy on the injustice of it.

I too mostly cry in the shower.  I don't want to upset my kids. 

 Sometimes I cry in the car when I'm alone.

 I had chemo first and my BX  about a month ago.  I seem to cry more now since my surgery.  I guess it's more real now?  I start radiation soon too.  It just doesn't seem to end.  I feel like the soft pillow now too and I was the rock too! 

Big Jackie O shades, a pocket full of kleenex, and a long walk.

Many years ago, I had a saying "Sometimes ya just gotta sit home and stink."

What I meant by that was if it was a really bad day, I'd stay in bed, wear my jammies and my ratty bathrobe, watch mindless TV, let my hair go all greasy, take naps, cry, get mad, get bored, and finally - take a shower. I think my longest was a whole weekend.

The last time I cried was at the gym. Last week. I'd been so frustrated and so mad and so helpless over another issue, and then I had to deal with an idiot trainer. I got on the treadmill, my iPad didn't work, so I got off, found a chair in the corner, and the tears just flowed. (No one noticed. Most of the clients are elderly and can't see too well.) I was waiting for my husband to finish his workout....if I thought I'd really be boohooing loudly, I would have gone to the car.

Someone posted a sentimental tearjerker video on Facebook, and the tears just flowed. I thought I was going to short out my keyboard.

I've never been one to keep my emotions inside. DH understands that, and knows when to give me a hug or back away carefully.....

Emotions are like the kitty litter box - you can keep adding more litter to cover things up, but sooner or later you're gonna have to shovel some $#it.

Thanks Barbie for the HUGS!  It felt really good!  Thank you for starting this thread.  I really needed it today.

 Wildrumara - my "babies" are 15 and 18.  They have been so wonderful through all this stuff I'm going through.  I too get upset when I think about the future - grandbabies, retirement, etc.  I've been trying hard to just give it to God to handle too.  It is what it is and will be and I just need to enjoy every moment I have now!

 I do have a new moto   YOLO.  You Only Live Once - make it count!  I have sweatpants, a sweatshirt and a funky ski earflap cap.  My kids love it when I wear it.  I kind of give the hang five Hawaiian finger thing when I say it.  I say it a lot and it's fun to say.  I kind of went on a mini internet shopping therapy before my surgery and kept saying YOLO. 

Thanks Barbie, actually meant treatment has goen on for so long now that I have run out of tears - stopped crying a couplke of months back.

This is a wonderful thread full of awesome ideas. Bubble baths and cars are out for me unfortunately. 'I might have a seizure.' ugh. Now what would happen if I had a seizure in the shower. I guess that would be okay. If I attempt to walk out to the car my mom comes out there "just making sure you weren't trying to run away." SO FRUSTRATING. Yes I'm glad I have people who care but it would be nice to have a few minutes by myself where I could have some wine and a good cry.