Wigs - Need Advice

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PamCA
PamCA Member Posts: 41
edited June 2014 in Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment

Hello everyone,

I bought two wigs about a month ago and was very pleased with them.  But I have only recenly after chemo #2 lost most of my hair.  I have tried putting them on and one seems like the bangs are too long and the other I can't get to look right on my head.  I called the wig shop and the owner offered to helpp show me how to put them on again, to shorten the bangs on one that seem too long and style the other one a little.  

Does it seem reasonable to you that this would make me more comfortable with them?  Not sure what is wrong with me - my hats make me a little self conscious and now with the wigs I am paranoid about them looking right?  Am I just crazy?  

 Thanks.

Pam 

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  • JoanQuilts
    JoanQuilts Member Posts: 633
    edited May 2012

    It's really hard to wear a wig the first time - you think EVERYONE is looking at you!  But the truth is, unless they know you and your situation well, they won't have any idea that you're wearing a wig.  And as women, we're often paranoid about looking right, aren't we?  So give yourself some time to get accustomed to them - I'm sure you look fine!

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  • Infobabe
    Infobabe Member Posts: 1,083
    edited May 2012

    My poor friend who had ovarian cancer twently years ago and again 10 years later and the third time 10 years after that.  Anyway, she went to a shop in town called The Front Room for cancer patients and got an expensive one that insurance paid for.  It was near $300 but it looked so natural with scalp showing that I would ditch the real hair and just wear these.

    My hair started thinning 20 years ago so I started wearing wigs then.  I always get them from Paula Young (catalog and on line), the Abby model, Mocha Mist.  It is so natural looking that people are always complementing me on my hair and I feel such a fraud. 

    No bad hair days with wigs.  When you travel, you are always good to go.

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited May 2012

    We don't realize how much hair we actually have until it's gone, and yes, a wig will sit a lot differently when you are bald.

    First time around I thought, "I'm going to have fun with this" and bought a ton of wigs in my fantasy hair.  Well, I couldn't tolerate wearing them - ever.  I never felt "right in any of them, even the one close to my own hairstyle.  And, they were just miserable on my head, nothing could make them comfortable.  I had a range of styles and prices too - from expensive ones to $30.00 ones.

    Now that I'm going bald again, I have purchased one wig for weddings and events and stocked up on scarves. (Had to buy a new one because my hair is a different color than it used to be).  

    Good luck.  I think everybody is self-conscious int hem, and you are always afraid they are going to fly off. 

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  • schatzi14
    schatzi14 Member Posts: 1,647
    edited May 2012

    CoolBreeze....exactly the same for me. I have one the same colour and style of my hair (before I lost it) and when I bought it, it seemed comfy enough. I would go absolutely nuts with it on. First time with the net underneath, I had a migraine in 20 mins...I loosened it but it didn't help. After that, the only time I wore it was to renew my drivers lic. I wore scarves that made me look like Aunt Jemima but I was at ease. I just started going topless 2 weeks ago and altho I have a long way to go, no one seems to stare. I love my new hair!

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  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 6,201
    edited May 2012

    I bought 2 wigs from a wig boutique ($550 for the first one, $250 for the second which was a display wig) and when I lost my hair, I went that day back to the boutique for them to do a fitting. It makes a big difference. Your head size changes a lot after hair loss... so they stitched it to a better fit.. plus did a trim. This was included in the price BTW... And insurance covered both up to $500 per year (I bought them in two different years).. both were lace front synthetic wigs.

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  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited May 2012

    We all figure out what works for us, individually.  I bought a nice, moderately-priced wig that matched my style and color so well it was uncanny.  But you know...after a few hours it just wasn't that comfortable, and EVERYONE knew I was bald, so after a few weeks I found myself just leaving it on its styrofoam head and grabbing a hat.  

    My brother visited a couple of weeks ago and went nuts over the shape of my head.  He insisted I looked exotically beautiful as a bald woman and convinced me to go commando.  Lots of eye make-up, big earrings, a girly blouse, and away we went.  My brother and husband had both shaved their heads in solidarity, and the bald three of us went wine-tasting, to museums, gardens, shopping, everywhere.  And guess what...NO ONE said anything, pointed, or stared.  At least I didn't catch them at it.  It felt wonderful. 

    Pam, be kind to yourself and be comfortable.  Just realize that you're more conscious of your new look than anyone else is, and whatever you decide to wear, if you're casual and accepting of it, everyone else will be, too.

    For myself, I resolved that I would not let cancer make me ashamed of my head. 

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited May 2012

    One thing I bought this time around was a hair halo from TLC.  I currently have enough hair that I can wear scarves in a wide headband.  On Abraxane, it seems to be thinning slowly as opposed to last time when it came out in hunks.  I have bangs showing with the scarves so it doesn't look like I'm bald.  

    The hair halo means I can still look like I have hair but do without a wig - either wear scarves or hats.  I don't know how comfortable it'll be when it's all gone but it pretty much just feels like a headband.

     

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  • BarbRocks
    BarbRocks Member Posts: 37
    edited May 2012

    When my brothers were little boys, my mom wouldn't let them wear crew cuts because they had such lumpy heads.  When I lost my hair, it turned out my head was smooth and shaped perfectly (one more thing I had over my brothers!). 

     I just felt more like myself with pretty earrings and without the wig. I wore caps when I was outside or if it was chilly outside. 

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  • Kicks
    Kicks Member Posts: 4,131
    edited May 2012

    Wigs do need to 'shaped' to each person. None of us are the same so when a wig is picked up it should be 'trimmed' for who is gettiing it..

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  • kt57
    kt57 Member Posts: 425
    edited May 2012

    Pam CA,

    You are not crazy!  By all means go back to the wig shop.  They are experts in fitting and trimming wigs.  

    I tried wig caps - nylon and cotton and a goofy silicone band that everyone said 'you just have to have'...  all these things under the wigs felt weird to me.  They were supposed to keep it snug and in place and more comfortable -- it felt like the wig slipped around more or that silicone band would slip and show.  So I just wore the wig on my cueball head.    

     It took about a week to get used to the feel of it. The tabs by the ears were my friends - I knew if they were in a certain spot, my wig was on right. It got so I didn't even need to look in the mirror if those tabs were in the right spot.

    Most people couldn't tell.   My onc thought I was one of the rare birds that didn't those their hair.. I wish!   Many people didn't know at all until I stopped wearing it and had my super short "haircut". 

    So will get through this!

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  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 6,201
    edited May 2012

    Kathy... I had the same experience with my wig... loved those ear tabs and could just adjust without a mirror... and my coworkers who knew I was in chemo thought I hadn't lost my hair... and because it was lace front I could pull the front back which confused them even more. I did wear a wig liner and found it was much cooler than without... The wig can get very hot. I got more compliments on my wigs ... I had bought a 3rd wig at TLC for $40 but it did not have the monofiliment top and it didn't look natural at all, so I returned it... I was thinking I needed a less expensive wig for a vacation to St John (thinking I would wear it on the beach... NO WAY.. I wore a bandana.

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  • vivirasselena
    vivirasselena Member Posts: 278
    edited May 2012

    I, too, tried "real" wigs.....and just felt stupid.  so this is what i did....i made a video of it and submitted it to the dr. phil show.... hope it inspires and makes you laugh a bit.  You CAN get through it with humor.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp4cOM9uIQ4 

     love,

    michele 

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  • jennifersomewhere
    jennifersomewhere Member Posts: 38
    edited May 2012

    vivirasselena- I watched your youtube video and I love it! I really hope you get picked for the Doctor Phil show. That was amazing to watch. :)

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  • vivirasselena
    vivirasselena Member Posts: 278
    edited May 2012

    Oh Jennifer!

     I'm SO GLAD you enjoyed it!  When I was wearing them, I really did it just for myself...then I found it REALLY DID HELP others.  And that made it worthwhile to me.  Please, please feel free to share the link on FB or anywhere else..and encourage others to do so, too..I REALLY want to give our sisters a little something to hang on to.  

    If the way I coped helps just ONE person....then I've done something good through something bad.

    have faith and wear fake hair!

    michele 

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  • mt4ever
    mt4ever Member Posts: 105
    edited May 2012

    Michele! I have just sat here and cried!  I love the video and right now I am having a hard time dealing with everything.  I just talked to my sister and I said that when i had my hair it felt like the diagnosis was not real.  This past Friday it was coming out so bad that we went ahead and crew cut it!  Now I look like a cancer patient!  I am so sad!! I have my wigs but like others I feel like I have a neon sign that says "I am wearing a wig!!"  I love how you embraced that and did exactly that!  Stay strong and know that you have encouraged me today!!! 

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  • vivirasselena
    vivirasselena Member Posts: 278
    edited May 2012

    mt4ever.......

    HOORAY!!!!!!! that's exactly what I want to do.....ENCOURAGE......and help women to face this thing head on.

    Always do what is right for YOU......but I am 100 percent here to help should you need me. PM me at any time.

    We can do this together!  I'm asking everyone to share the link on their FB page or with anyone who needs to see it.  I want to help.

    love

    michele 

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  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 6,201
    edited May 2012

    Michele.. Loved the video!!!

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  • mimib63
    mimib63 Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2012

    I am hoping to have my neices and their young daughters come with me to "help" pick out a wig.  I thought it would lessen the emotional struggle that I'm having and make it a bit more fun. (really?!)  Anyhow, I think one of the little ones thought I'd look good in a long purple wig! This should be interesting to say the least! Wish me luck!   

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  • hotandcold
    hotandcold Member Posts: 205
    edited May 2012

    I love my wigs.  I bought one close to my color before I lost all my hair and started wearing it.  Everybody at church and work loved it. I didn't tell about my cancer before I wore the wig.  I didn't tell about my cancer for numerous reasons, but nobody knew I was wearing a wig.  My wig brand of choice is Noriko or Rene of Paris. ($129 - $300)  My newest one is called "Reese" and the color is called "Almond Spice". It's great because it has darker roots and highlights! Yes, highlights! ! ! A sales lady at Nordstroms complimented me on my haircut. When I told her it was a wig she was embarresed and I could tell she really didn't know it was a wig.! I've had numerous compliments since then.  People looked at me twice when I wore a scarf (cancer victim it seemed to scream).  After seeing all the ladies (35 years old to 85) at the wig store I'm absolutely stunned at how many women wear wigs and I NEVER KNEW.  There are 3 different wig stores close to me and only 1 is really good at helping pick out a wig.  They also adjust them and trim them free  for a custom fit.  My hair came back in extremely thin, (my husband had more hair)  so I am still wearing wigs 4 years later.  Good luck

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  • vivirasselena
    vivirasselena Member Posts: 278
    edited May 2012

    I had friends and young kids...nieces, neighbor girls...pick out my wigs for me.  like I've said in previous posts...i just felt STUPID trying to pull of a normal "look".........It took so much fear out of it for so many. If you've got kids...it's what I would recommend.  ebay is a virtual candy store of costume wigs!  You'd be surprised how much joy they bring.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp4cOM9uIQ4

    love,

    michele 

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  • Pinkflower51
    Pinkflower51 Member Posts: 1
    edited June 2012

    My insurance-Aetna will pay for a wig but it has to be in newwork.  I can't find in network.

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