January 2012 chemo

Congrats Anne!!!! 🎈🎉



8 of 12 Taxol/Herceptin done this afternoon. Can't wait for this part to be over even though that will mean moving on to rads and estrogen sucking drugs.



I've had such a bad cold/cough this week - wish the cough would go away and let me slep at night.



It's Friday night here - have a good weekend everyone!!!!!



Jenn

Hi ladies,

It's been a while since I wrote anything on here. I have been going to school, kids, and doing my treatments. As of next week I should be done with chemo, cross your fingers, pray, send good juju whatever you do so my counts are high enough I can have it. I've had real issues with being pushed back a week here and there cause of that. (low blood counts) Everytime I have a period I have to have a blood transfusion, that's been fun let me tell ya. I ended up having a D and C just to clear things out and make sure I was ok. My insurance company will not close my pre exsisting condition investigation so I am having to pay out of pocket for my surgery and have been on the phone with them almost every week for 6 weeks. I am about to go bonkers! I HATE united health care. 

 Anyway enough of that, I am sooo happy most of you are almost done. I am not having to do Taxol so I cannot relate to those SE. I am sorry to those who feel lousy. Lord knows I have these last few treatments. I never in my life imagined the kind of tired this crap makes us. 

One thing I wanted to ask, has anyones hair started growing back? Mine has and I find it very weird considering I am not done....

Hope everyone's weekend is going good. 

Katie

Katie - glad to see you back!  Hope the rest of your treatments go well.  So sorry to hear about the problems with your health insurance.  I find it interesting that we've probably been carrying this cancer around in our bodies for years before discovery and diagnosis, so we're almost all likely to have "pre-existing conditions."  I hope this gets worked out to your benefit.

My hair continues to fall out on Taxol - again, I wonder if it's the dd nature of my treatment?  I have these baby duck hairs that are trying to grow in on my head, but then they simply fall out a couple of days after each treatment.  And now my eyebrows and eyelashes are all gone - I didn't lose them on AC.  So - two more treatments, and then I'm hoping for *some* kind of growth!

Sleepless and Annie - YAY!  Congrats on finishing chemo!!!  What a ride!  Annie, rest up and recover.  Surgery is doable but tiring as well.  Let us know how things are going. Are you considering reconstruction if you go the BMX route?  

Sleepless - I am following chemo with rads.  I know there is debate about the effectiveness vs harm with rads, but I feel that I must throw everything I can at BC.  I may regret my decision down the road.  However, right now, I want to walk away from BC with the knowledge that I did everything I could to fight this disease.  I trust my MO and RO who both recommended rads.  I start this week and hope for the best.

Kite - So glad to hear from you!  Sorry about the insurance co trouble.  Isn't it enough that you are fighting BC? Now you have to fight your insurance co.  Did you get Neulasta after tx?  As much as I hated the shot, it did keep my counts good.  I bounced back after each treatment in time for the next one.

HAIR - I am becoming obsessed with my bald head.  I am 3 weeks out from tx and am not seeing much activity on the top of my head.  I am getting stubble on other parts of my body, but my scalp is pretty barren.  Although, if you look real close, you might find some peach fuzz on the back and sides of my head.  I'm not sure if it really qualifies as hair. Its grey and very soft. I can't imagine wearing my wigs during the summer.  My head sweats up a storm now and it hasn't been very hot yet. We are taking our whole school on a trip this Tuesday.  I can either go canoeing  or go on the walking tour of a famous DuPont estate and gardens. Both choices are problematic.  I don't have the stamina to canoe this year and am not looking forward to walking in the hot sun with a group of teenagers. Fortunately, my coworkers understand.

Peggy - I've heard that the grey is followed by darker hair as it grows in.  I sure hope so!  While I had plenty of grey, it was mixed with red/brown as well.  I'm not ready for all grey!

Nancy - I like your new avatar!  You look great!

Okay, hair report.  2 more Taxols to go for me.  I have the stubble on top of head, but it isn't as tough as Nancy's sounds.  All the tough stuff fell out when I scrubbed it real hard with a washcloth about 3 months ago.    On sides and back I have like a down feather gray fuzz going on, feels soft, but it is white or gray.    When my hair fell out, it turned black.  Never had black hair in my life.  Crazy stuff.

These wigs are getting hotter. 

Annie - Whine all you want!  You've crossed the finish line...now it's time to recuperate.  With all the accumulation of chemo and drugs...this is probably the apex of your SEs, but then it's all downhill from there.  You won't be going back for another treatment - you'll be getting better and *staying* better.  :-)  So I'm sorry you feel so bad right now, but know that you're also on your way to healing and leaving this all behind!

schatzi mine doesn't seem to be growing more.  Perhaps the Herceptin has something to do with it.  Always something to look forward to in life.  LOL  ( I just realized I said that last sentence in my last post.  Hummm.)

Denjak - I've heard that it might take a few months to get the feeling back in my toes and balls of my feet.  I am three weeks past my last taxol tx.  The numbness and tingling in  my fingers seems to be going away.  Not sure about my feet.  Just when I think the numbness is going away, it flares up and I am right back where I started. I was also warned that the neuropathy can be permanent in a small percentage of people. I sure hope that is not the case!

Sleepless:  May I ask where your tumor was on your breast?  I've heard something similar from my RO, but then she brushes it off and says they'll "do their best" to avoid my heart and lungs, and it is giving me reason to rethink radiation treatment.  Mine was at 10:30 - 11:00 (as you look at my left breast) almost outside of what I would have thought of as breast tissue (they couldn't get it into the mammogram).  Thanks.

Nancy, I am sooo scared of the whole rad thing because of the long term effects too. However the stats on how much they reduce the likelihood of recurrence are quite significant and generally the benefits outweigh the risks.



It's become "interesting" for me as I had a high number of diagnostic x-rays in adolescence due to a potential medical condition and I have only become aware in the past couple of weeks that this increased my risk for BC. I should have been getting regular monitoring from my 30's but who knew??? No-one ever told me! While looking into my rad options I stumbled on a research paper that specifically mentioned the type of x-rays I had and the risk factors associated with it - it was a shock.



The thing is, because of that any further radiation for me now compounds the problem and I have a much higher risk of more cancers and heart problems than normal. I have emailed my updated info to my Rad Onc and am very interested in what she will say at our planning appt on the 22nd... I am pretty sure they will still think the benefits outweigh the risks but I just don't know on a personal level.



I also have a follow-up appt with my BS next Monday and want to ask her whether with this new information she would now recommend a BMX :-(



Jenn

Had to tell you ladies about the GREAT DREAM I had this morning as I get ready to go for #11 out of 12 Taxol today:

Dreamed I was standing on my cemetery plot.  It had a headstone on it.   As I stood on it, I realized I wasn't going to need this for quite some time.   In the dream, I shoved a FOR SALE sign on the plot.  I knew it would sell because it was in a great location in the cemetery.  I knew I was going to take the money I got for it and go to Las Vegas!!

GOTTA LOVE IT!!  

Denise - What a great dream!  I hope the market remains strong for cemetery real estate and we can all put our 'plots' up for sale soon!

Denise:  AWESOME  dream!!!  Thanks so much for sharing that - it feels hopeful and joyous and full of life! 

Kristin:  Never too much TMI, not with all we're going through and experiencing!  I feel blessed that we have the ability to talk openly and frankly about the things happening in our bodies because of all of this.  I had the red-pee thing for only about a day.  I never had any color issues with my bowels; I have a hx of UC and IBS and often have blood in my stool (talk about TMI!) so I'm used to "seeing red" - but surprisingly, all of that has stopped since I started chemo.  So no to the red in my stool on AC (and no red tears, either).  It sounds like you did your chemo "backwards" of many of us - Taxol first, AC second?  Just interesting...

Char:  I'll be thinking about you as you go into this next phase of treatment.  I have to laugh - I saw your first line: "I got my tattoos last Friday." and I immediately thought, "Wait, I thought getting a tattoo right now was a bad idea; I wonder what she got?  Maybe a pink ribbon or a bulldog or a battleship..."  Then I realized what you meant.  Chemo brain - took me a minute there!

Stupid cancer.

I had my first infusion dream nightmare.  It was one of those frustration dreams where everything was going wrong and taking to much time.time By the time I was ready for my infusion it was to late and I couldn't find my nurse to ask if I could go home with my IV so I wouldn't have to get stuck again.  Everyone was getting ready to go home and ignoring me.  

Today is my real life 7th TX/Her infusion day.  I certainly hope it goes better than my dream. 

Peggy:  I hope your treatment goes well (or has gone well).  What an awful nightmare!  I had a treatment nightmare once, early in treatment; I didn't remember the dream itself but remember waking up on the verge of tears, it was so sad and scary.  I'll keep you in my thoughts today.

Off for number 9 of 10 today!  Actually excited, because after this I've only got ONE MORE Taxol to go, then done!  Unfortunately classes started again this week and I needed to take 4 credits this semester, so I have a class on Tuesday nights (notoriously one of my bad pain days), and this week I have class from 9-4 on tomorrow AND Saturday in Detroit (about 1.5 hours away from where I live) and then again next Friday/Saturday, too.  My instructors know and understand what's going on and will cut me some slack, but I don't want to be a problem child before class even starts.  So wish me luck for a steroid high for at least the next two days - I can fall apart on Sunday if I need to.  :-)

*hugs* to you all!!