Just Need to Wank

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  • Jayne_in_UK
    Jayne_in_UK Member Posts: 517
    edited May 2012

    I've only just spotted this thread title, and of course I had to look :-)

    I saw my dentist before starting chemo for my original diagnosis, and explained that I wanted to get my teeth checked out now because I couldn't have any work done during chemo. He took it in his stride, no probing questions, just said he was sorry I was going through that and wished me well. When I went back for my next check up after completing that first lot of chemo he just made a note of the meds I was taking, asked how my treatment had gone and how I was feeling. Exactly what I wanted him to do. I love my dentist. I think you were very unfortunate Elizabeth to have your hygienist and dentist asking you questions like that. They should know better.

    I did have one person ask me what my prognosis was and I was a bit shocked to be asked such a personal question. At the time I didn't have all the information necessary for my prognosis to be known, so I couldn't say even if I had wanted to.

    I don't hear "bird" used much any more, just by a few men who started using it in the 60s or 70s and haven't stopped. It may be used more in other regions of the UK though.

    Great thread title, irresistible!

  • Tipnas
    Tipnas Member Posts: 99
    edited May 2012

    Elizabeth, I agree, you reach a point where you just want to move on and not be defined by your cancer.  I know there are days when I just don't feel like talking about it.  The other day I met someone I hadn't seen since before my chemo.  She commented on my new hairdo and I just said I wanted to try something new.  I felt a little bad but I just didn't want to talk about it.

    Judging by the response to this thread, a lot of people are looking for a bit of diversion and humor is great for that.  I'm from Ireland so I have to ask, was anyone else a little surprised when they brought out an Austin Powers movie a few years ago called "The Spy who Shagged me"?  Sorry, I couldn't resist :))

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited May 2012

    Yes Tipnas. I have found it shocking - the spy who shagged me indeed. I even don't like saying shag carpet - not that I have any!

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited May 2012

    I've put this thread in my favs!

  • lrr4993
    lrr4993 Member Posts: 937
    edited May 2012

    Still laughing.

    I hope this thread lives forever.  I smile every time I see it. 

  • IndigoMont11
    IndigoMont11 Member Posts: 1,095
    edited May 2012

    Okay, ladies - but doesn't shagged also mean exhausted? I'm a big fan of Anne McCaffrey, who is a fantasy writer from Ireland (no, not *that* kind of fantasy!), and in one of her Raven Women books, maybe Damia, one of the characters says "we're shagged" in that context.



    Sorry - I'm such a word geek and just love learning these things.



    I added this thread to my faves too. Elizabeth, I'm forever in your debt!

    Edited to add - I do know that wasn't the intent for the Austin Powers movie.

  • Outfield
    Outfield Member Posts: 1,109
    edited May 2012

    The title made my day.  Elizabeth, glad you're a good sport!

    But what you were actually posting about - that's so hard.  I had a long time after diagnosis when I didn't know the the particulars of my tumour because I was too overwhelmed with fear.  I just couldn't stand it when people asked me.  They'd ask me how big, how many nodes - even after I got up the courage to ask those questions myself it still was a horrible experience for me to say them.  I also hated the question "Did they catch it early?" because well, no, they didn't, it was locally advanced.  I realized pretty quickly on that some of the "did they catch it early" was people who cared about me putting their hopes into words, kind of wishful thinking.  The prognosis askers, if they were people  I cared about, I tried not to hold onto my emotional reaction.  I didn't lose any friends that way.  But curiously enough, I also had a bad experience with a dental hygienist and am going to ask for someone else next time I go in for a cleaning.

    And now I'm at a point in my life when I'm pretty sure people don't see me as a great ball of breast cancer anymore, except I'm still stuck thinking about it all the time.  It's kind of nice to not be asked all the time, but it's also weird that people don't talk much about this huge, huge thing in my life.   

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited May 2012

    Indigo - what DID it mean in the movie title?

  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited May 2012

    It's so funny how we're each different...it didn't bother me to talk about it or be questioned.  In fact, I wanted to talk about it more, it was like therapy for me and I felt the need to explain why I looked this way...silly I know.  It would irritate me because people would act as if nothing was wrong.  Even my family acted that way and now that I'm done with tx. it's worse...it's like nothing ever happened.  I took it as if they didn't think it was that serious now I've come to realize it was their way of dealing with it...denial!  I think most of the time when people ask questions it's for them anyway..they're comparing their age to your's, they're wondering could this happen to me, etc.  I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sure when your hair comes in the curiosity will fade...they'll think you're a picture of health again!  The baldness is hard, it's like a scarlet letter.  Hang in there it does get better.

  • SelenaWolf
    SelenaWolf Member Posts: 1,724
    edited May 2012

    Yep, in Canada `wank` means the same as it does in Britain.  And, like most of the British ladies, I just had to read this thread given the title... you`ve all made my day.

    sbelizabeth... I hope you are not offended and think we are belittling your post.  I - like you - cannot wait to have a conversation with someone that doesn`t begin with,`... now, dear, how are you feeling... REALLY...`  It`s frustrating.

  • joanneasiata
    joanneasiata Member Posts: 719
    edited May 2012

    How good is it to have a good laugh " just need to wank " got my attention started to read and haven't stopped laughing

    My bentist is my oncos wife ,her and her staff are the best I am very lucky

    Funny about words mean totally different things in diffrent country's

    My granddaughter had started to call me titta , I thought it was so cute and didn't mind becouse she just started talking ,my husband would always have a little chuckle over it and my brother in law (husbands brother )would look horrified and say oh don't let her call u that and would always correct her ,id tell him no its ok it's cute ,all the time my husband is laughing ,months of this went by ,then my husband finally told me what titta mean,t he is Samoan and in Samoa it meant a mans private parts! , well that had to stop then ,when every one knew what it meant ,when ever she called me titta they would say hey dick head tiyanna wants you the laught was defiantly on me

  • IndigoMont11
    IndigoMont11 Member Posts: 1,095
    edited May 2012

    It was a parody of the James Bond movie"The Spy Who Loved Me" so I'm pretty sure it meant what you think it meant! I've never seen either of the Austin Powers movies, though.

  • Sommer43
    Sommer43 Member Posts: 600
    edited May 2012

    So pleased to see this one still going! 

    Yes, the term "birds" is still used here...  Not so much by the younger generation.  "Bit of skirt" is also used, in some areas.

  • IndigoMont11
    IndigoMont11 Member Posts: 1,095
    edited May 2012

    I thought I was dating myself a bit - I remember hearing "birds" on TV when I was growing up in the '60s-'70s - makes me think of the Monkees.  "Bit of skirt" - that's cute.  I have to say that slang is a lot more on the "ghetto" side here and a lot more crass these days, sadly.

  • Jayne_in_UK
    Jayne_in_UK Member Posts: 517
    edited May 2012

    Indigo I teach 16 and 17 year old lads and they definitely use more "ghetto" type slang when talking about girls. I find it quite disrespectful some of the things they come out with.

  • LauraOntario
    LauraOntario Member Posts: 377
    edited May 2012

    Elizabeth,

    Sorry you got interrogated.  

    As for the use of words...my Mom and I moved back to Scotland for a year after my Dad died.  I was on the subway and I heard some kids saying they were just "knackered."  I thought this was a cute little Scottish word for tired and I told my Mom about it and we started using it all the time.  Turns out it wasn't a very nice Scottish word.  We said it to the Minister and the missionaries who came over for tea.  We were saying things like "That missionary work must have made you knackered."  Oh well, what can you do? 

  • patti13
    patti13 Member Posts: 89
    edited May 2012

    LOL!  I never post but just had to say thank you for the laughs.....I finish my last rads on 11/11/11...last summer when I was experiencing chemo - a friend asked the same question - what was my prognosis....I didn't know what to say!  And am still angry about it.  For does one really know.  A good friend of mine - battled cancer for 40 years.  She and I went thru chemo and rads at the same time....in March she was told all was good and couldn't see any more cancer..the very next day she had a severe stroke....she passed 2 days later.  I was so sad. So how would you answer a question like that.....sorry - just had to vent a little - I feel better now that I've said my piece.  Elizabeth - whatever you want to do - go for it!  I think we all agree......still laughing!  This will go into my favorites..

  • MaxineO
    MaxineO Member Posts: 555
    edited May 2012

    Elizabeth: sorry for your experience. I have had a few people ask FAR too many questions (What's your prognosis? is to me the MOST rude).  As a shy person, I usually just give short answers and get the heck away.  But having someone's hands in your mouth doesn't really allow that, does it?

    This thread has turned quite funny.  To be honest, I'm still not positive what 'wank' is referring to for all of you Brits and associated, but I am making my best guess!

    In college, I was in a biology class that was held in an auditorium. One day, a student was really mouthing off to the professor, being a smart-ass.  The professor was pretty good-humored about it, but at some point he got a little irritated and declared "Watch it, or I'm going to come up there and whack you off!" 

  • greenfrog
    greenfrog Member Posts: 269
    edited May 2012

    Maxine - You are on the right track!

    Wank = self pleasuring, usually of the male variety.

    Wanker = an idiot/cretin. Wanker is invariably bellowed at bad drivers/football referees with a specific accompanying hand gesture which leaves little to the imagination.

    HTHLaughing

  • jezza
    jezza Member Posts: 698
    edited May 2012

    A friend's DH was transferred to America for work and they were visiting the new boss and wife who had a young baby. My friend fussed over the baby and said he was gorgeous and put out her arms and asked if she could "nurse" him.The lady looked a little taken aback.

    In Aust. that means to hold a baby and cuddle him. Apparently in America (or at least in that part of America) it means to breastfeed.

    My friend was mortified when she was told later that she had asked to breastfeed her bosses son!

    Great thread sheli even if its gotten a little off track...I, too justhad to take a look!

    jezza

  • juliet62
    juliet62 Member Posts: 3,412
    edited May 2012

    love the title!  we should compile a dictionary ,  i know when ever i hear the term fanny, i still smile after 22 years in this country

  • cooka
    cooka Member Posts: 278
    edited May 2012

    Yay! "Just need to wank" is still kickin'! Thought I'd give it a little bump before I go out to play on this beautiful Saturday;)

  • painterly
    painterly Member Posts: 602
    edited May 2012

    Very funny thread....

    I am from Britain and spent part of my growing years in Sydney Australia. I came to Canada when I was 23 and stayed with my relatives in Ontario. Here's the funny bit.

    After a day or two of being with my cousins, I walked into the living room, carrying a half wrapped parcel to send back home, where they were all seated including my uncle and aunt and asked...."has anybody got any durex?"  Well, I was quickly ushered out of the room by my cousin and told that I wasn't to use such a word especially in the presence of my aunt and uncle. I quickly learned that durex was a "safe" or prophelactic for sex whereas durex in Australia was scotch tape...hahaha. I have no idea if Australians still call scotch tape Durex. I left Australia in the late 60's so ideas no doubt have since changed.

    About the breast feeding. My daughter recently went to Northern Ireland and was shocked that her husband's family all wanted to nurse the baby.hahaha.

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited May 2012

    We have been enjoying a BBC series called MI5 on PBS and I was surprised noone in England knew what I was talking about. It was SPOOKS there, and that name was not appropriate here as apparently it is a derogatory term. I've lived here over 25 years and didn't know that!

  • IndigoMont11
    IndigoMont11 Member Posts: 1,095
    edited May 2012

    Hmmmm... I thought a spook was an undercover agent? What else does it mean?

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited May 2012

    just wanted y'all to know I've been enjoying this funny thread and title.

    carry on

  • nora_az
    nora_az Member Posts: 720
    edited May 2012

    Here ya go!

    I travel overseas a bit.....has gotten me in trouble a couple of times with the lingo.  

    http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

  • nora_az
    nora_az Member Posts: 720
    edited May 2012

    I jokingly tell my friends over there that we have some very normal words here in the US that turn very perverted over there!  Their minds must constantly be in the gutter!   :)

  • Sommer43
    Sommer43 Member Posts: 600
    edited May 2012

    Glad to see the wank thread is still going strong... 

    Our minds are always in the gutter, nora...  Face down usually...  Laughing

    Wanker is a term that football fans use, when shouting at the opposing referee, or a bad driver, (white van man) wanking, is derived from the verb to wank (it is in the Oxford dictionary)

    Although, another term for wanker is "tosser"  Now, when I was overseas, working for an American school. in a book for Junior Highs, for non native speakers, describing a pancake making exercise, the book stated "Alex is a tosser"  Not something one wants to be shouting in the middle of London, one might get beaten up by the locals... 

    We toss pancakes, but a tosser is another acronym for wanker. 

    This thread still makes me laugh, so much... 

  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited May 2012

    You have all SO cracked me up for a couple of days!  (Lest there be any misunderstandings...to be "cracked up" means to be highly amused.)  The episode at the dentist's was worth it.  Thank you for all the laughs! 

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