Just Need to Wank

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sbelizabeth
sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

So the journey continues...lumpectomy and port placement last fall, chemo just ended in March, mastectomy last week.  I'm soldiering on and doing OK.  Here's what wrecked my day.

I'd had to cancel a couple of dental appointments during chemo--no introducing bacteria into the bloodstream--so a few days post-mastectomy it was time for a cleaning.

The hygienist, whom I've known for years, gasped when she saw my hat-covered baldness,  "What's up with you?" 

"I'm in treatment for breast cancer, but I'm doing well and feeling fine," I said, hoping to leave it there.  Nope.  I KNOW her questions came from a place of friendship and concern, but I felt hosed down.  How did I find the cancer?  Was it small?  Did they catch it early?  How was the chemo?  Much pain with the mastectomy?  Which side?  (glance down, left, right).  Are my stitches still in?

The teeth are finally scraped, scrubbed, and flossed, and the dentist, another long-time friend, comes in to say hello.  "What's your prognosis?"  he asks.

Will there ever again be a time in my life when I DON'T feel as if everyone sees me as a huge ball of breast cancer?

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Comments

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited May 2012

    It is tough!!! But as medical professionals they should know better than to ask such questions!!

  • pupmom
    pupmom Member Posts: 5,068
    edited May 2012
    People should just STFU abour our cancers, unless we tell them otherwise! Don't they get what it is like to be interrogated about this????  Yell 
  • nora_az
    nora_az Member Posts: 720
    edited May 2012

    Ok now that I nearly spit my water on the screen when I read the title of your post....I'm sure our friends overseas will as well.

    Yes it is very hard but I think it gets a bit easier with time. I must admit I havent been to the dentist for 2 years now. I really need to though.   I think it was very rude of the dentist to ask you what your prognosis was. It should've been good enough to just tell him what sort of treatment you've had. I havent had ANYONE but my family even ask me what my prognosis is. I have told a few on my own but that's a rather personal question.

    I hope you have a good evening XXX  big hugs XXX

  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited May 2012

    Omg, the word "wank" in England is slang for masturbation.



    What does it mean in USA?

  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited May 2012
    I haven't come across it (before) over here. I'm a Brit. I must say it certainly caught my attentionLaughing.
  • Sommer43
    Sommer43 Member Posts: 600
    edited May 2012

    I see the Brits are out in force over this thread title!!!!  I too, was goggle eyed at this thread title. 

  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited May 2012

    Oh dear, does this mean I have a dirty mind I will blame it on the chemo haha

  • IndigoMont11
    IndigoMont11 Member Posts: 1,095
    edited May 2012

    Lol, ali - that's what I thought!  We had an exchange student in my high school days from New Zealand who explained to us what a "wanker" was...

    I have no idea what it means to other people.  I think she meant "vent."  Wink  But it sure got me to come take  a look at her post - I thought it was on the topic of what happens to your love life after BC!  

    With sincere apologies to you, shelizabeth - I'm sure that once I get to where you are, I'll be over talking about it too!  Hugs!

  • pupmom
    pupmom Member Posts: 5,068
    edited May 2012

    It's not a word one hears everyday in the US. I thought I remembered that it does have that meaning, but when I read the title I figured it must have some other meaning too. Doesn't exactly fit the context of the post. 

  • IndigoMont11
    IndigoMont11 Member Posts: 1,095
    edited May 2012
    I have to tell you ladies, I haven't laughed so hard all day!  Still lololing!!!Laughing
  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited May 2012

    sbelizabeth, we're sorry you encountered such unfettered curiosity!

    As always, if an original poster wants to change their thread title, just send private message to us, and we'd be happy to help.

    Your Mods

  • Sommer43
    Sommer43 Member Posts: 600
    edited May 2012

    We're rolling around laughing in our house, seriously.  My husband is howling.  Yes, it does mean masturbation!  A very common term. 

    Apologies to the OP for the intrusion of Brits, but they will all be in here, when they see this. 

  • pupmom
    pupmom Member Posts: 5,068
    edited May 2012
    Nice try, Mods, but I think that horse has left the barn!  Laughing
  • nora_az
    nora_az Member Posts: 720
    edited May 2012

    I go overseas a lot. That's why when I saw the title I was thinking  "OMG!!!"

    Elizabeth, I surely hope you can laugh with us. It isnt mean spirited, we all need a good laugh to lift us on occasion.

    I suppose that means a lot of us have our minds in the gutter too!

  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited May 2012

    I can't stop laughing !!!!!!

  • Sommer43
    Sommer43 Member Posts: 600
    edited May 2012

    Hi ali,

    I am still howling, tears rolling down my face!  I do hope Elizabeth is not offended, she doesn't need to be.  One of those classic comedy routines, you couldn't make it up.  Nora is right, I am sure that the good laugh will lift people's spirits. 

  • IndigoMont11
    IndigoMont11 Member Posts: 1,095
    edited May 2012

    I'm *still* laughing and I'm not a Brit!!  Just really, really needed a good laugh today.

    Thanks Elizabeth - and in case you are feeling badly at all about this - a long time ago I for some reason thought the word "horny" meant bein in pain from menstrual cramps.  You can guess what an embarrassing situation I ended up in before I figured it out!!  Okay, sorry to "hijack" your post.

  • lrr4993
    lrr4993 Member Posts: 937
    edited May 2012

    Sorry to intrude but I saw this in the active topics and just about died at the title. Sorry to the OP that you are feeling like a big ball of cancer, but I have to thank you for the laugh. Best thread title EVER.

  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited May 2012

    Horny - so tell us why you thought that? You have made me laugh again.

  • pupmom
    pupmom Member Posts: 5,068
    edited May 2012

    Elizabeth, I agree with Nora. All in fun!

  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited May 2012

    Yes it is funny, hope we don't upset you.

  • IndigoMont11
    IndigoMont11 Member Posts: 1,095
    edited May 2012

    Ummmm... I really don't know.  I had read it somewhere, I think, but had no real experience  (I was turning 14 at the time).  Anyway, that summer I went on a youth group trip (sailing on a schooner down the coast of Maine - so awesome!), and hung around with a bunch of kids who were cooler, hipper - and older - than I was.  I had a terrific crush on one of the boys.  Of course, totally one sided- he was just friendly to me, but we did have a lot of fun on my 14th birthday - I remember he filled my bunk with balloons, hung out with me all day and made it really special.  Anyway, I had befriended one of the other girls, who he also ended up paying "special" attention to - and when my period started in the middle of the trip (of course - why wouldn't it?), and I had awful cramps, I told her "I'm so horny!"

    She never really talked to me again after that....  I didn't figure out what it really meant right away, and then I was glad we lived in different towns!!!!  I cringed at the memory for years.  

    Laughing

  • MaryNY
    MaryNY Member Posts: 1,584
    edited May 2012

    Whaaaaat? I thought someone was spamming the forum. I've lived in the US for 15 years and have never heard this word in polite conversation.

  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited May 2012

    Maybe she thought you were being a bit too friendly if you know what I mean. Have to be very careful with words, sorry laughing again.

  • Sommer43
    Sommer43 Member Posts: 600
    edited May 2012

    It is not considered polite in the UK either, classed as a profanity.  I wouldn't have wanted my children using it.  However, to see it up there, in active topics was too funny, to miss the opportunity of seeing what it was all about.  I do hope Elizabeth is ok and doesn't feel that she cannot contribute. 

    I think a rant was needed for her, and hell, she made my evening.  Good on her.. 

  • IndigoMont11
    IndigoMont11 Member Posts: 1,095
    edited May 2012

    Oh, my goodness, I know. I'm sure that girl thought I was totally weird!!!! Oh, well. At least that was a very long time ago. 

  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited May 2012

    I agree, nice well brought up children and adults do not use that word.

  • Sommer43
    Sommer43 Member Posts: 600
    edited May 2012

    Indeed, Ali.  And, us women should not be laughing at it either. 

    Spluttering now!  It is the funniest thing I have ever seen on these boards. 

  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited May 2012

    Let's guess what she was meaning to put! Where has she gone?

  • Sommer43
    Sommer43 Member Posts: 600
    edited May 2012

    I don't know where Elizabeth has gone, I don't usually post in these forums, but it was too much to resist. 

    I think she meant "vent" or "rant" 

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