Simply reposting a thought from a censored thread
Comments
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Yes, conventional treatments are "doable".
Is "doable" good enough for you? Don't we deserve better? Don't we at a minimum deserve safe and effective?
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Chickadee, from what I understood the TV program is not about her but mentions her treatment. I think the fact that she was posting so often lately (for her) meant that she needed to.
I think we on BCO have never wanted to drive anyone away when they are coming here for support. If she is fine with it, fine, but I'm not so sure. There were many others who had valuable contributions. There were fights, but different viewpoints existed with RELATIVE peace compared to blowups on other alt threads.
But, again, mods, do you really think WOM or anyone following in her footsteps would simply re-post - and that magically the thread would be more to your liking in terms of tone?
I have been on BCO long enough to know that simply stopping and restarting never helps. Things usually calm down when the thread participants are able to work through it.
This is about how difficult and painful issues relating to BC are debated, and how the mods handle those debates.
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1Athena1,
I like your point about intellectual respect. This pinking thing has bothered me but I could not put my finger on what offended me about it. You hit the nail on the head for me, intellectual disrespect. You don't see blue ribbons for prostate cancer for God sake. It is not a very pink experience, and there are no ribbons. Thank you for clarifying this for me.
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Good evening, all,
I wanted to respond to your suggestion, Athena, that the mods are in any way of the "rah-rah" sort, unwilling to allow us all to face off with the grimmer realities of breast cancer, its treatment, and its long-term effects.
I've been on the boards here for several years, reading extensively but posting almost exclusively about lymphedema. I have not been gentle about its realities, and have sometimes been downright critical of bc.org itself for their lack of accurate and timely information about lymphedema in their information pages and for their promotion of Lily Shockney as a "breast cancer coach" when she's in fact a loose cannon where lymphedema misinformation is concerned (and for that matter, so is Susan Love), among other things. I have never once been censored or admonished by this organization for anything I've said, even when it has led to whole threads full of raging posts about bc.org itself.
These people are not out to squelch honesty and clarity about breast cancer. Just the opposite. And they are caring enough to offer protection where it's needed without slapping hands. Think about it: what else can they offer WOM other than what they did? It isn't them who are attacking and maligning, it's other bc patients. The gentleness and consideration is up to us, and no fault of the mods if they can't make that happen. They did what they could, gently and considerately. The rest is up to us. We need to quit talking about how WOM and others should be supported, and just get on with doing it.
JMHO. Be well!
Binney -
As an outsider looking into this thread (apparently previously started), feeling the fear and pain of Ali, a new member, and as someone who has had BC herself (and is a therapist and mental health professional), this whole thread is scary, frightening and a mess. I view BCO as a great support to me; frankly one of my few. I would like it to stay that way.
A number of days ago I read the beginnings of the locked thread. I also felt some of the comments were overly emotional, possibly inflammatory, certainly critical. I don't know where it went after I read the beginning but it didn't seem to be going anywhere good and I stopped reading.
I would like to see us treat one another as sisters,( esp. when we are making such important decisions as we do at the beginning), with love, gentleness, and depth of understanding. Everyone has their own journey - past, present and future. And layers and layers of emotion.
I believe it is time to move on from this. I'm sure the mods. acted appropriately. Ali - Take it one step at a time. And please spend your time on this site creating a supportive sisterhood on a thread that will give you what you need.
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Exactly, plymouthpeople, prostate cancer people are treated as adults.
I bring up the point from time to time because I have also been exposed to two other very serious and potentially deadly illnesses. Like everyone else, I do the reading, my research, and follow what is being said out there. It's always "real" - the advocates, the doctors, the supporters keep it real. You can do that and still express hope, but you can also still question the research and make strides.
Part of the problem with pinking is that it forces all women to accept one way to do everything. It encourages a herd mentality where those who stray away are bullied. It's also strikingly anti-feminist, IMO. It's degrading. Interesting because there is far more science to back the treatments for my comobidity, and yet there remains respect for people's individual choices.
No health sector is perfect, of course. But with BC, it feels as though you have been inducted into the mean girls' cheerleading squad, and if you don't march in lockstep you are bullied. And here we all thought we had left school.....I think, to some extent, the school girl mentality/mob rule came down on WOM.
Binney - just saw your post. Just wanted to say I think the mods acted out of the right reasons for them. In other words, I don't think they wanted to squelch information. I'm a little surprised that they acted when they did, since that thread had had far more dramatic moments.
I also want to clarify - I wasn't expecting the mods to do anything for WOM per se - that's not their job.
Rather, I was hoping we could "rescue" what you said and what you so nicely do in your own thread: support a sister regardless of what she does with her body. It comes down to that. I hoped this would provide a chance to reflect on that and also reflect on how ugliness is an inevitable part of this.
I am rather consciously perseverating, hoping something will come out of this...but I won't do so for long.
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ali68 ... I just want to say that I found my mastectomy to be a very easy surgery. I had chemo 6 years ago and felt like I had the flu for a week of each cycle. I have zero ... not even one ... horrible after effect from it. None of it was as bad as I expected ... really. I can imagine how I would have felt if I'd had to read some of this "slash, burn, poison" ... OMG chemo will kill you ... and the medical establishment just does it to make money anyway ... stuff when I was in the middle of treatment. It makes me cringe too.
WOM does not strike me as a shrinking violet. I seriously doubt that a woman who has to check with her 'representation' before she even says what treatment she is doing is concerned by what anybody on BCO thinks about her choices. I imagine we will be told when and where to tune in to hear more from her ... for those who are interested.
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Wabbit - if that's the case --and perhaps you are right-- then I can rest easily. I know she was no shrinking violet, but I hope she never needed anyone here.
Still stuck with the deeper issue of the good, bad and ugly....see first and second posts on this thread.
Off to roam the plains, rub heads with cubs and pridemates and plan the night's hunt. Tomorrow, when the sun arises, I can sleep on it. :-)
I just hope I am not the only person who is in discomfort about the implications here....
'Night:
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Athena - once again, you should hold up a mirror! Your accusing others of being mean girls for having the nerve to ask questions about alternatives....questions intended to educate. But, your response, and others, is to attack conventional methods and call us all sheep for "blindly" following what our MO's say. Do you really think that you and your methods are the only answer? I dont. So because some disagree we are called mean girls? What about you? You should review some of your previous posts before you throw out such accusations. Honestly, im not sure you have any self awareness.
Ive said it before and I will say it again....I want to understand if alternative methods can be useful in my own personal fight against BC. But, I cant get an answer because we are apparently just supposed to "believe". Wouldnt that be herd mentality?
Im pretty sure BC.org doesnt have a personal vendetta against WOM but you seem to think there is some sort of conspiracy going on. Really? Its their site, they pay for it, and if WOM doesnt like it she doesnt have to be here. Maybe someone should create a specific site for folks who think exactly like you do and they you can be assured that no one will join who doesnt have the same opinion as you and WOM.
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Remember too that there are lots of other diseases that are 'prettied up' to raise money: Jerry Lewis and his Telethons, Autism Awareness and their jigsaw puzzle ribbons (my son), yellow ribbons for people lost for'ever'?!!, Relay for Life with ALL their various fundraisers - pizza parties, bowling nights, sundae bars, wine tastings, garage sales, etc. Sometimes you have to pretty it up to get the money coming in; People only want to be so sad.............and that is just human nature. I think that it's okay to be human. And I am not pro-Komen and would not be for political reasons but......I am a Relay girl. I'd join Autism fundraisers whenever and wherever I could. Cheerfulness creates better PR, more positivity and let's face it, generates more funds. I think that is a good thing.
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Mardibra, you have a habit of simply not reading properly and it's getting tedious to constantly correct you. This is my last attempt.
You say, of me:
Your accusing others of being mean girls for having the nerve to ask questions about alternatives....questions intended to educate.
Never happened - never "for having the nerve to ask questions...". 100 percent off.
Do you really think that you and your methods are the only answer?
Huh???? What "methods" would those be? I've never discussed "methods."
Im pretty sure BC.org doesnt have a personal vendetta against WOM but you seem to think there is some sort of conspiracy going on.
Dead wrong. I do NOT think there is a conspiracy. Never have.
Also, where did you get that I was interested in alternative methods?
Please read before you react.
I've got more important things to do tonight and in general than to constantly correct your misrepresentations. I'll put you on ignore starting now and save myself some time and aggravation. Good luck in your treatment and Godspeed.
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You go Athena. Enjoy that hunt. And I do totally get the implications.
I don't know what kind of proof you want mardibra. If you are expecting to see the same kind of "proof" as is provided for mainstream treatment, you are not going to find it. Because alternative treatment is usually natural, no one can patent it. If no one can patent it, no one is going to pay the millions it costs to go through FDA testing (and if it is an inexpensive tx the FDA would fudge the data so that it would show no efficacy). The FDA and Big Pharma rub each other's backs. Heck, the people who work there walk out of one door into the other, then back again. So you won't find that kind of data.
What you can find are our personal experiences with alternatives -- and also our experiences with avoiding conventional. Frankly, that is the main reason I am here. Yes, I want to learn what others have to share, but more importantly, I am offering up my life -- or death -- as a testament to the treatment that I have chosen. I was very open with my treatment choices on the thread that the moderators closed. I don't know if you were there or not. Nor do I know if you care, since I am so early in my diagnosis and treatment.
If you are really interested in alternatives, here are a list of books I have read so far:
You Did What? Saying 'No' To Conventional Cancer Treatment
Herbal Medicine, Healing & Cancer: A Comprehensive Program for Prevention and Treatment
Cancer: Step Outside the Box
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You are disturbed and im done. Wallow in victimism.
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Athena,
Dont know what thread was locked down. However, I totally loved reading your "repost." It was very well written. I got it. I am almost 16 months post diagnosis and 8 months post treatment. No cancer history in my family. I was the most healthiest and most health conscious person in my family (still am). Both my brother and sister smoke, I never have. Yet, I am the one with cancer. (Please don't misinterpret this as I would NEVER, never wish this on them or anyone else.) I am just restating ....we dont what causes this group of diseases or what will cure them. And, I was the one with the breasts removed. I was the one with no hair, burning hands and feet (and all other manner of chemo SEs). I was the one with radiated skin oozing and peeling off. I am the one with lymphedema. I am the one still undergoing surgery. My poor sister bless her heart. She accidentally walked in on me undressing and she said that she intellectually knew what was going on with me but actually "seeing" it up close and personal put another face on it. She saw it and she cried. I get "the three words." I am thankful for the doctors who did the best that they knew to do. But I was slashed/cut, poisoned, and burned. I did a little search on the history and origin of chemotherapy and was quite surprised to learn that the earliest chemo drugs were first developed as agents of warfare. Go figure....
Cancer is the enemy.
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Hi Nancynow --
Thanks for your comments! We can assure you a more customizable and individualized version of the boards will be incorporated into the updates! Hang in there all -- we're convinced you'll love the changes to come! As always, we'll welcome your comments, suggestions, and questions along the way...
--The Mods
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Looking forward to them too. Missing the orange color option, though.
ETA: Nancy, I like your new name - it sounds affirmative. Hope you are doing well!
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anyone else find if kind of creepy to talk about other members publicly?
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ali68, I'm sorry for the late reply. I do hope you have an easy time with surgery and rads. I'm starting rads today and I too have very fair skin, but not solar urticaria, like you. I THINK the kind of radiation we get is not like what you get from being in the sun, though. I may be wrong. Hopefully rads won't trigger that for you.
I was terrified of surgery and chemo but both went much, much easier than I expected. I hope it's the same for you; I didn't mean to make light of what you're going through, as it IS scary as hell.
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