Fears of Recurrence

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DeeLew84
DeeLew84 Member Posts: 28
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer
Fears of Recurrence
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  • DeeLew84
    DeeLew84 Member Posts: 28
    edited April 2012

    How do you deal with fears of recurrence? Even though logic tells me that my chances of recurrence are extremely low, it keeps me awake at night. I was diagnosed with stage 1, grade 2 ILC March, 2011 and had a bilateral mastectomy April 28, 2011. My tumor was 1.5 cm and was hormone receptor positive. Onco DX score was 17 so no chemo just Tamoxifen. I have been cancer free for one year. Lately I have been almost having panic attacks from fear of recurrence. I feel fine physically, in fact I have been working out almost every day. I have had some mild pain under my armpits and some itching. I also have some bone pain which is most likely caused by the Tamoxifen. The worst bone pain is in my tailbone. I was never a hypochondriac before having BC but now every ache and pain scares me! Does anyone else feel this way?

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited April 2012

    Dee, the fear you're describing is very normal, and it really does get better with time.  I think eventually I just realized that constantly worrying about something that might never happen was stealing my joy.  And if it ever does happen, I wouldn't want to look back and feel that I wasted all those good years by constantly worrying.

    The other thing that has helped me is to remember that I had aches and pains pre-bc dx, and that I will still have them going forward.  So what I do is give any pain 3 weeks (some women use two weeks) to see if it goes away.  And so far, including a recent, very worrisome lower back pain that started after an overly intense massage, they have all gone away within 10 days at the most. And if something doesn't, that's the time to allow yourself to take action and get it checked out.  

    I also think exercise is both a great recurrence prevention and stress fighter.  I try to walk an hour a day, and when I don't, I can literally feel the negativity start creeping in.     Deanna 

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  • DeeLew84
    DeeLew84 Member Posts: 28
    edited April 2012

    Deanna, I think you are right. I usually work out almost every day. I lift weights 3 times per week. Building strength has helped me feel like I can beat anything. The last 2 days I haven't worked out (life gets in the way sometimes!) and this past week has been especially stressful. As you said, the negativity creeps in. Tomorrow I will be back to my routine of strength training and cardio and I think that will put me back in a positive frame of mind. 

     On May 7, I have check ups with my surgeon and my oncologist. They are both extremely cool and tend to have a calming effect on me. Hopefully, I can put some of my anxiety behind me!

    Thanks for the reply! 

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  • carms48
    carms48 Member Posts: 13
    edited April 2012

    I also have a fear of reoccurance.  I just started tamoxofen and also have fears about it's side effects. I agree with Dee Lew and Deanna about the working out.  I have a much better day when I walk first thing in the morning.  Would love to add weight training but I have so much pain still from surgery (lumpectomy and reicision).  Does anyone else take ambien if they can't sleep from all this worry?

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  • DeeLew84
    DeeLew84 Member Posts: 28
    edited April 2012

    I also have to take ambien. Even when I am not worried or stressed, I cannot sleep. That started after I began taking Tamoxifen. I have to take at least a half an ambien almost every night. I never thought I would have to take meds to sleep! My oncologist's nurse told me that it was pretty common for BC patients.

    I hope your pain goes away soon! 

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  • Racy
    Racy Member Posts: 2,651
    edited April 2012

    DeeLew, anti-anxiety medication might help you think about it less and sleep more. You can talk to your primary doctor about this. Some medications can decrease the effectiveness of Tamoxifen, so make sure that the doctor chooses one that is ok to take while taking tamoxifen, if you do choose to try medication.



    Counselling or relaxation therapy/meditation might also help.



    And try to keep your life in balance and low stress.



    Lastly, I am getting blood tests to check indicators such as calcium, vitamin D, liver function, cholesterol and hormone levels before my scheduled checkups. This gives me a measure of reassurance that all is ok or, if not, any problems can be found and addressed early.



    Good luck to you.

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  • DeeLew84
    DeeLew84 Member Posts: 28
    edited April 2012

    Thanks everyone! Overall, I feel very optimistic. I am so glad we are all still here! Life is good.

    "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Life the life you have imagined." Ralph Waldo Emerson  

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