Calling all TNs

Ruth....Oh the waiting and wondering is absolute torture.  I am so sorry you have to go through that right now.  It is unfortunately, unavoidable.  The last time I had to wait for test results I literally spun around in a circle (think more walk in circles around my house) unable to focus on even the smallest task.  So I went outside.  Digging in the dirt seems therapeutic to me and has gotten me through some pretty stressful "waits".  That may not be your thing, but it was less the dirt and more being outside and able to let those thoughts flow right out of my head and into wind.  I can occupy myself for hours doing mindless weeding or even aggressive mowing when necessary all the while relaxing my mind and letting go.  Maybe sounds a bit corny now that I said it out loud.  Just find a task that you can do on autopilot so you can relax your mind.  Lets call it meditation gardening or vacuuming or laundry or.............  You get the picture.  I hope it works for you.  Deep Breath.

xoxo 

Inmate- I found myself picking the moss out of the bushes and trees while on an outside break from work yesterday. Funny you should correlate a mindless task to meditation.  I did feel better afterwards!  My boss popped our for a smoke break and seeing her, I quickly stood up and she looked at me, like what the hell were you doing?  Uhhh, picking moss?   Thanks!

Inmate-I feel the same about gardening. Most people complain about weeding, but I love it. It's very relaxing. I wish I felt well enough to go out and do it. I'm hoping that since I finished Taxol on Thursday, I'll be up to it later this week. One of my best friends is coming over tomorrow to do some yard work for me. I hope I can help her, rather than just sit on the port and direct. Good luck with the curtains....I can't sew a stitch!

Cocker, I only had a few responses and all were so different. I only saw one common thread in any of us. Stress actually was the one common denominator and I have read that some Drs believe that 85% of TNBC is caused by stress. So I continue on my Xanax at night to get restorative sleep, something I missed out on for years. Hope you are feeling well after all you have been thru. I am so thankful to Titan for starting this thread....altho'  I don't post much, I read it daily. Thanks Titan

Good morning Ladies.  Hope you all slept well. 

Inmate - no not crazy, just a kind and thoughtful neighbour. Believe it or not I get the same pleasure out of houswork.  To me there is nothing as good as a clean home and I feel great when I finish it. 

CharB22 - hope you are feeling better soon. Hang in there. Can you tell me how you did on your taxol. That is the next big problem coming up for me.   

Wrenwood47 - I believe stress plays an enormous part in major illness.  I have been on the same diet all of my years and its never changed so why cancer now, but just over a year ago my dughter went through a nasty break up with her husband and I was so worried about her. I was so stressed over what she was going through and now I have this.  I think adrenalin is good for you sometimes but downright stress no. Guess there is just no way to prove it though one way or the other.    

Titan - hope you enjoyed your time with your boy.  Bet he liked all the food.  A way to a boys heart .......... is through his mum.

Have a good day ladies. Keep smiling.  Lots of hugs Annie 

Ruth, I hope everything goes well and that you don't have cancer again. I'm going in for a brain and spine MRI on Monday (which is my 2 year cancerversary for my 2nd dx). It was the earliest they could get me in and get approvals from both insurances. I've had this strange pain in my leg for over a year in had a spine MRI, CT scan of my abdomen and bone scan last year. All came back clear. Hopefully my pain is just me getting old and no cancer! Good luck to you. Waiting is the worst part!

CS - that is great!  I wish my center had those!

Oh, a Tanquery and Tonic sounds perfect!

Good one, Cocker.  Made me laugh.  I'll pick the white wine!

Wren, I, too believe that stess has an impact on cancer.  I am not talking the everyday stuff like working or getting kids to sports, music lessons and trying to get dinner on the table.  The stess I am talking about  is the life changing stuff. Death of a close family member, discovery of infidelity, loss of a job, loss of your home......that kind of stuff.   During my first appointmnet with my Onc, she told me that stess is a very BAD thing. And said that whatever it was that happened to me within the last 3 years to get it fixed or get rid of it.  My "trauma" was in July of 2007 and I was dx May 2009.   Interesting. 

Wrenwood47 thanks for posting. I have a lower WBC now than in October. It is 3.1 and some other stuff is off on my immune system although my tumor marker are 13.5 and 2 so that is good I guess.I am going to order from amazon and see what happens.  After 6 months on 2000 units of D3 I only went from 25 to 29. Makes me a little worried. Actually had a really terrible day, got caught in self pity and FEAR...lousy but I stopped myself from crying by digging in the garden-boy it makes a difference.

Char B - congrats on finishing chemo!  Wonderful.

Inmate-I'm glad to hear your're doiing OK. Hope the Halaven continuse to do you well. I go to yoga and find that it is like meditation but gardening is a different kind of spiritual like putting my world in order.

Ruth - Sorry you're going through such a horrible time.  Hoping you get benign results and relief from your pain.

Cocker ..you are great..love your posts. Love the pic, time for a drink.

Kitty cat  I do truly hope it is just nothing and you feel better soon.

I too feel stress has a big impact on things.... in the months before I was diagnosed I would say to my husband I feel like I am going to die and it scares me. He didn't know what I was talking about but I had a terrible sense of dread and he had been out of work almost 2 years and we had to make some big decisions. I felt that I just couldn't take the stress. So glad that it was caught on my mammogram.

Bernie...yes, there are times we need to take a break....do what is right for you.

I love the infusion bags.  I will take a skinny margarita in a bag.  LOL!!!

TItan, I think there has to be a happy medium between reducing stress and dealing with situations.  I think there is nothing wrong with feeling and getting involved in things, just not to the point where it affects your health.  Great that you found jogging!  Wish I was a jogger!  I think exercise in general reduces stress.  I need to keep reminding myself that and get on it!

Oh, yes, I believe stress had a lot to do with this!  Last year, my mother's health declined physically and mentally, and I was able to get her into a very good Alzheimer's home.  A few months after that my company closed, and I was out of a job at 61 years old, and I spent the summer teaching myself computer programs and applying for jobs.  I did get hired in October, but had to learn so much and adjust, and it was extremely stressful (but I do have good health insurance now).  In March I was diagnosed.  How do you get your stress levels down when you're stressed about being stressed? 

"How do you get your stress levels down when you're stressed about being stressed?"

Excellent question, Maureen. That's why I hate all the platitudes about how I just need to think positively, etc. First of all, it's easier said than done. Secondly, I think it also at least implies that I'm somehow responsible for getting cancer in the first place with my "negative" thinking. Grr.

MB1024 - I'm on 10mg of Lexipro x 1 day - works wonderfully.  Take it, it will help.  Also, ask for xanax or something for anxiety attacks, middle of the night worries.  Things that creep into your head that refuse to go away.  It really takes the edge off, I find now I only need to take one before a drs appt.  Never been good going to the drs and now it's so much worse.  Have to admit, I'm a little annoyed at your onc at the moment. 

I also find I'm a little detached at the moment but this is how I look at it.  I've spent my life taking care of my mother, when she passede I was immediately thrown into the roll of caretaker for my aging grandparents.  My grandmother had advanced alheimerez's and both my mother and I are the only child.  Everything was / is left of my shoulders and then I was diagnosed with Cancer.  My husband once said to me years ago, "your such a good person, everyone always comes to you for advice and with their problems"  Well, I hate to sound selfish, but I'm gonna be.  Right now, Its all about me.   I need to work out how to deal with my stress, my diet, my exercise, my happiness.  Eventually I'll get to a happy medium but until then, I have to worry about myself.  Sorry if that sounds horrible