January 2012 chemo

I hadmy second to last Taxol yesterday. I did have a reaction. While I was talking to the nurse I got a sudden, stabbing pain in my thigh. I was pointing to it just as the nurse said, 'okay, here we go.' Within a second I was bright red and I felt like a lead apron had been dropped over my head and chest. She quickly disconnected the taxol, shot me up with something, and I was fine within minutes. No shortness of breath. Weird. We waited fifteen minutes or so and then hooked me back up and finished the treatment. As usual, I felt really tired but couldn't get to sleep because of the steroids.



I'm hoping this third taxol will be as easy as the last one was. The first was horrible, but for these last two they've been giving me extra fluids and that seems to make a difference.



I saw my MO before treatment. The tumor has gotten very small on physical exam, but she was a broken record in saying they don't really know anything until the surgeon opens me up. Her impatience was more evident than I've seen before, and Linda and i felt frustrated asking her questions. She's clearly smart as a whip, an expert on triple negative breast cancer, and I trust that she knows what she's doing. But bedside manner? Not so great. We made her answer our questions anyway, but sheesh.



Annie

I finished my 12th and final abraxane and carboplatin yesterday. The nurses put leis on me and a flower on my scarf and gave me a COMPLETION cert.  I do think because of the mixup of taxotere instead of abraxane that time, it made me loose my eyelashes and eyebrows.  I have been putting a product from Senegence on them and  I actually see tiny stubs growing back.

 I haven't posted much but there are so many courageous women on this board.  I have learned so much through this experience.  So many friends and family have been so kind and loving to me, I intend to pay it forward any way I can.

 And I know my SEs have been so minimum compared to so many here. 

I have never had a fear for my life here but the unknown of what was to come.  So many friends have told me how strong I am but sometimes, it was really hard to believe.  One of the most important things that came out of this - and please don't take this in a negative way - but my husband of 22 years moved to So FLA.  He was such a negative force in my life and some of the things he has told me, you would not say to your worst enemy.  I am so happy with him gone and look forward to my life from here.

I have been blessed to have so many good things come from this not so great event in my life.  I wish blessings to you all as you continue your journey to health and happiness. (I'm not through - have to go through rads but I'm ok with that.)

 Seagrover

Denise they are giving you steroids before the infusion?  Where I am they stopped all the pre  med's after the 3rd. and I'm glad they did.  I don't seem to have a big crash.   I find that if I start feeling like I can't go on I lay down for 45 minutes and can get up and continue doing whatever. I had #5 today.  Next treatment day is Israel Independence day and they don't work so I get to skip a week.  I'm not sure if I'm happy or not about that.  It will be nice to have a week off but that means the end point is a week later.  

Thanx to everyone for their input, I get more here then at the Cancer Center...so grateful for this forum!! Can't imagine not having it. 

Denise~love the Santa..my husband agreedwith you, that is me too a PLasticOutdoor Santa...I have the visual and am laughing my ^% off right now!!

Annie~That is a weird SE, I heard about the red face, but not the leg pain.  I hope your recovery time is good before the last Tax and wishing you a restful night!

Tina~I am not going to worry about the Neuropathy YET...I have not lost motor skills and I test them constantly...getting used the constant tingle and hum in the fingers and the nails look horrible but don't hurt. How are your motor skills? Can you thread a nut onto a bolt? Or roll a ball of yarn up from scratch? I disassemble guns and rebuild them as well to see if I lost motor skills. None yet.

8th Taxol Today and no problems, head nurse was awesome...but she'll be off next week. I'll have her for the final three (Promised) all good here...just wired. Took A Percocet an hour before the Taxol was to hit...on a empty stomach to make sure I had the full effect, then ate an entire Turkey sandwich...one of my best days on Taxol so far. Yeah
Congrats to all that are done...very envious of that you and proud to know such troopers! Pat yourselves on the back...many don't finish the course.

Have another funeral to go to this Saturday, hope I'm feeling up to it...almost 3 hours drive to get there.

Barb also a Black & White cat lover!!

Congratulations on your Spirit award, Annie - you truly have the spirit of a warrior and deserve this recognition!  You are TN which does make treating your cancer that much harder; and Grade 3 is nothing to sneeze at.  They really did mean well, though - that you're continuing to work so hard in real estate and promoting your book, throughout all of this, is incredible to me.  You go girl!!  *hug*

Dianne hang in there kiddo.!

Hey all, I have been reading but not able to say much as have either been home feeling crap or at work working. But hey, it's currently 4am and I'm free to catch up with you guys...



Diane - I hope your SEs clear up soon. Better be safe and withold tx while they figure out the problem - especially since the Herceptin can cause heart probs which can cause SOB and edema. Have they scheduled a ventricular function test?



Annie - congrats on the Spirit award. Sorry about the misinformation now out with your colleagues. Maybe you'll get some special treatment out of it though ;-)



Barbie - sorry about all the funerals! It's a sign you have a big family and lots of friends though? I can still count on one hand the number of funerals I've been to in my whole life (very small family - now only my 84yr old mother and myself left from direct family - and she lives in another country).



6th Taxol/Herceptin yesterday afternoon - had edema in my hands before they'd even removed my port access. Nurse was a little concerned but I did tell her that I always put on 3kgs by the day after tx each week and then spend the whole week getting it back off again.



Sooo tired yesterday so was a bit grumpy. Stopped to get food on the way home from tx and my husband taking the last chair and leaving me standing while we were waiting was the last straw in my grumpiness. We argued in the car on the way home :-/ Turns out he wasn't feeling well - but he didn't want to tell me. He's having stomach issues and is seeing a specialist next week. we're only 46 and 47 - way too young for all this health sh!t...



Pain in my ankles and legs started not 3hrs later and it normally doesn't start until 2 days later. Also feel like I've got some balance issue happening. If this stuff is cumulative I'm going to be hardly functioning by the end of the next 7 weeks :-(



Love to all! 🐨 Jenn

Jenn - I am right there with you = feeling like crap.   I had taxol # 3 on Monday, worked Tue and Wed, then crashed.   I have been on my butt ever since - holding down the couch since my legs hurt so much, I have a fever and feel run over by a truck.  I have neuropathy in my hands and feet even more this week too.   Only one more treatment!

Diane - I hope your SE's are figured out so you can complete your treatments.  I haven't even talked about radiation yet.  I just need to get through this awful taxol first.

Jenn - I know what you mean!  I already met with the RO, had the simulation done, and met with the scheduling nurse, so I guess I'm going through with this.  But I'm really scared about the long term side effects.  However, my RO did talk at great length about the serious long term SEs and statistics.  He alleviated some of my worry.  But I hope that I don't regret this decision some day.  I think back at how bad my mom felt after radiation (30yrs ago), only to have the cancer come back stronger than ever.  I know we have better technology and more knowledge but I still worry. I just keep telling myself that I have to do everything I can to get rid of every last cancer cell.  I survived the chemo, now its time to face the next step.  I also keep telling myself that by mid-June I'll be all done!

Hi all!  I hope everyone's feeling good this weekend - or if not, has good medication.  :-)

I want to ask a really silly, stupid question about radiation.  Actually, two questions.

First - if we're spending all this time and energy and pain and suffering (at times) doing chemo, which is supposed to course through our body and kill any stray cancer cells, then what's the point of radiation?  Wouldn't chemo cover the area we're now planning to zap with radiation?  I'm sure that's a silly question, but it's been on my mind lately as I decide wheher or not to do radiation (I know, why wouldn't I, but I am concerned about recurrence and what radiation will do to my left breast and reconstruction, etc.)

Second - for those who have finished chemo and are moving on to radiation - how long between the time you finished chemo and start radiation?  My last chemo is scheduled for May 24 and my simulation is scheduled for May 29 - but how long will they make me wait before (if?) I start?

On a funny note - while I noticed small white hairs on my head, and my legs are getting a little "fuzzy" - I lost almost my entire left eyebrow this morning, and my right continues to fall out.  The whole hair thing is just beyond me anymore.  :-)

I am feeling the same way about radiation - actually, I don't know what to feel.

I have my first appt with RO this week.  If I don't like him, I am going elsewhere.

I have had such a repoire with my BS and MO that the RO thing kinda scares me.  I keep telling

myself that I am going to sail through rads after all the chemo crap.  I guess that's all I can do.

I read so much about surgeries and chemo, but feel ill-prepared for rads.  I have put it out of

my head, and now it is here!! 

Nancy - I don't have a good answer for that question!  I guess the rad tx is just extra insurance.  It treats any local spots that might be more likely to have cancer cells. My MO is targeting very specific areas - lymph nodes under arm and along neck and chest wall under left breast (where it used to be).  He might be able to reach some nodes near sternum.  He said that they won't reach any  nodes under sternum if it means getting too close to heart and lungs.  I was a little concerned about the nodes located towards the sternum since one of my biobsies showed ILC toward the inside of my breasts.

He said that I should wait at least 3 weeks from last chemo to give my body time to heal.  However, the simulation can be done anytime after chemo.  My simulation was 6 days after my last chemo.  My first actual tx will be just under 4 weeks since chemo.

Denise - I found my RO to be quite different from my MO.  My MO is such a compassionate and warm person.  She is just wonderful!  My RO, on the other hand,  is a very interesting brainiac who can talk for hours about radiology and statistics.  He is not huggable in the least, yet he seems genuinely concerned about my prognosis.   There doesn't appear to be a pompus bone in his body.  I really like him as well as trust him.  Very different individuals! 

My daughter thinks I'm pretty cool since I now have four tattoos.  However, with my freckles I'm not sure anyone will be able to find them when they need them.

Well, one week out from my last chemo tx and i'm starting to feel excited.  My SEs last week were stronger than previous txs and I really couldn't celebrate the end of chemo.  This weekend I feel good and its starting to be real - no more chemo!!!!!!!  I'm willing my hair to start growing, but not seeing any progress yet.  However, I am starting to feel stubble in certain areas (not my scalp unfortunately).I know that it is going to take time.  My poor old follicles need to repair and grow hair.  My eyebrows are almost gone and I've been without lashes for a week or so.  Very strange looking. I hear they come back fairly quickly.  I hope so.  The fatigue is the worse though.  I can barely walk up a flight of stairs.  I have some neuropathy in my toes and finger tips that seems to be going away (I hope).  MY RO said I might feel more fatigue as a result of the rads. Oh well.

Here is an interesting study from University of Michigan stating radiation is

underused for women who have had Mastectomies:

http://www2.med.umich.edu/prmc/media/newsroom/details.cfm?ID=1529

Thanks for sharing that study, Denise - my RO is based out of that office of UM doctors.  I met with her briefly, way back when my mind was still a jumble of new dx and info, long before we even knew I was going to need chemo (at that time they were recommending possibly doing 4 x TC, then we got the Oncotype results and that all changed).  I've been looking at brachytherapy as an alternative, and want to discuss that with the RO, too.  I am having trouble commiting to the 6-7 weeks of daily radiation, particularly if I have to wait three or four weeks post-chemo before starting.  I would finish radiation just days before starting a new semester of classes, internship, and work, and I don't know if I'd physically be up to it.  So on Tuesday I've decided to call and schedule another "intro" appointment with the RO to go over options, rather than waiting until the simulation appointment (doesn't make sense to "simulate" something I might not be doing!) 

Thanks for everyone's input - I want to do everything I can, but just fear doing too much, too, if that makes sense.  I know there are no guarantees...it's so hard to know what to do sometimes.

I'm not certain about anything regarding our radiation center, Sleepless - but you make a really good point.  For me, I had no node involvement and a very small area of tumor, so I know the radiation will be targeted, but it was deep in my chest near the chest wall and I don't understand how they're going to avoid my heart and/or lungs (it sat right on top of my heart).  The more I read about bracytherapy, the more I love it and want it, and am hoping they can work with me on it.  It makes so little sense to spend 6-7 weeks disrupting every day of your life for radiation (yes, I know, this is about living and I shouldn't b*tch about the inconvenience), but it's the reason I signed up for the Taxol clinical trial - they recognize the inconvenience of 12 weekly treatments and want to know if dd x 6 will yield the same results.  The thing I keep reading about brachytherapy is that because it's so pointedly targeted JUST to the area of the tumor, if I develop a recurrence in the same breast but in a different area, I can do radiation again in the future - something I won't be able to do with external radiation.  I don't know, it just makes *sense* (but what do I know?!)  I'll let you know how my appointment with the RO goes - I'm very curious about the possibilities.