Why am I only ok talking to stage III ladies?feeling like a jerk

I was at the gyn last week. It was a new gyn, I had never seen her before. She asked me what stage my cancer was. I admitted I was never brave enough to ask. She went looking through the electronic chart on the computer. While she was looking, I told her I was sure I was stage 3 even though I hadn't asked. She replied I found it, it says you're stage 2. I was really elated. Isaid to her, "really?". She said yes, in fact stage 2A, I guess you had one lymph node positive. At this point, I realized I was stage 2a after eoadjuvant chemo. I think that was worse than all the other news I got previously. I know they removed the cancer at surgery and theoretically rads took care of anythingelse and presumably i am cancer free now. I realize these are just a category being assigned and has absolutely no influence on what my outcome will be, but it is just devastating me to know that even after chemo, I was still stage 2. I don't know why, but I felt the need to write this and this was the thread I thought it belonged in.

Can't we agree to disagree....if we don't like what someone writes, don't read the post...thats what I love about bco over a "live" support group when I can't ignore what is being said...here if a post is not up my way of thinking, I just skip it.....Our feelings are our feelings....there is no right or wrong when it comes to feelings.....Let's be respectful of each other.....

It dawned on me that Cancer has it's own agenda no matter what your dx is.  I work with a girl, stage I no nodes and it came back so who in the heck knows.   I try to tell myself, it's just a number....yeah right who am I kidding.  lol

Josie, although I'm not a stage 3, I do appreciate what you originally said.  Therefore, I'm glad you shared your feelings.  I had feelings similar to yours.  I was jealous of all the stage 0 and 1's, I was jealous of all those that didn't have the BRCA 2 gene and didn't have to have their ovaries ripped out of them, of all those who got diagnosed later in life (I was diagnosed at 36) because their youth wasn't ripped away from them, of all those who had lesser grades than me, of all those that had children first since I may never get the chance.  Those were my feelings in the beginning.  Because less than 5% of breast cancer patients were diagnosed under 40 and I was the lucky one.  There was less than 1% of breast cancer patients who had the BRCA 2 gene and I was the lucky one.  Then there was the less than .05% who were first generation BRCA 2 and I was the lucky one.  I hate statistics because I literally defy the odds.

But I think as I move through this journey I've been on, I've realized that we are all scared ishless when we are diagnosed.  None of us knew our stage when they said we had cancer.  The fear of the unknown is something we all share.  We all go though every back ache thinking our cancer has spread.  We share a similar journey that I hope unites us in the end.  But the feelings you had are completely normal...as are the feelings you're having now.  I'm glad you shared. 

ILnative....we have the same odds...maybe we should play the lottery and we might actually win at something   I was 34 at dx, 1st generation BC and BRCA1+ also.  I was bitter & jealous of people too.  It has got better as time goes by, I try to remind myself that everyone has their own battle they are going through, mine is BC but that woman might have something she is going through.

Jo...Congrats on getting through tx, looking back now it seemed that time went by so fast during tx.  I hope you continue to do so well.

Exactly Sherri!!!!