Stage IV's Using Alternatives Deserve our Respect and Admiration

Personally, I dislike the "report this post" button. I think everyone should have the opportunity to read every post. Deleting your own is one thing....deleting someone else's is another issue. I'd much rather avoid some spam than not have had the opportunity to read a post.

I stay away from the Alternative threads and hesitate to say anything now.

But it is unrealistic to expect no disagreement about the use of alternative medicine and declining conventional when you are trying to promote it on a conventional medicine board.  What you see as 'support' they often see as 'enabling' dangerous and even life threatening choices.  Makes it almost impossible for some to ignore because they really do care about the people here.

The same would be true if conventional medicine supporters tried to take part in an alternative medicine forum. 

And we are dealing with cancer here ... not a cold or the flu ... so the stakes are high. 

If alternative medicine followers want a place where any theory or practice out there can be 'discussed' as reasonable treatment options ... but only by those who approve of it - no disapproval allowed ... this is  never going to work out as that place.  IMO.

Really guys, this is the Internet. This site is tame compared to what goes on elsewhere.

The science doesn't seem definitive in any way in regards to a link between dairy and BC, so I'd use other factors to make a decision. I personally avoid dairy most of the time because of the environmental damage the dairy industry causes and the abuses it inflicts on animals. I've also conveniently had an aversion to dairy most of my life--I'm probably at least mildly lactose intolerant. 

I think the debate area is a great idea Joy--I would hope people would respect the term of it and debate with civility--I think most of us are so interested in others thinking--I've shielded myself from so much (it worked for me) but I'm learning al ot now and it's fine for me.  But I do have to say Caryn's idea of sticking a banana up one's nose would no doubt be frowned upon by alternative or medical worlds LOL

With all due respect, I strongly doubt that threads marked "support only" or "debate only" could ever work!  Where "support only" does seem to work well is in the "Starting Chemo in May"-type threads, where everyone is in the same boat and anxious to make comparisons.  Many of them maintain their friendships and many eventually move on to a private FB group.

But someone who is trying to make a momentous decision ("should I do chemo or not?") may be looking only for support.....but it doesn't take long for "supporters for" and "advisors against" to make their opinions known and...voila...a support thread turns into a debate thread.

As edot says, it's sad we have to ask for respect and admiration.  But....that's just life, real life, isn't it, where we have to earn respect and admiration.  Why should the internet be any different?

Anyhow, this is just my humble opinion! 

IMO, a debate forum would be great but it will not alleviate the issue, imho.

The issue is not really about the differences of opinions and values.  

This is an issue because the lines in the sand are crossed and people are shoved into the dunes, sometimes face first, usually after much hassling.

I was unaware that this is also going on in chemo and other threads.  That is so unfortunate.  

IGNORE BUTTON   :::::  I don't like the ignore button because the one who is ignored is told, oh, now so and so is ignoring you, and then it's well so much for a true discussion, it's all about control and dadada, in other words, the haggling goes on anyway, the thread is misconstrued, the readers burdened with a ton of baggage to wade through.  And everyone gets their dose of stress for the day.

That said, the ignore button can save a person from being banned.  But their good name is mud anyway and they do not even know it.

REPORT THIS POST  :::::: This is abused.   People run in cliques, the same ones seem to frequently report posts.  Don't know how it works, exactly, but somehow the community can get a comment deleted without the mods attention, though the mods can replace the comment at their discretion.  

INNOCENT?   :::::  I have witnessed comments being edited by the writer after the discussion wires up and attitudes are flying, but the one who started the high emotions is all innocent and supported as always very respectful.  

RULES ::::  To me, this issue is all about rules that need outlined and enforced.   After a few true admonishings for not following the rules there will be less who are swarming on alternatives and hassling those who have the personal convictions to use the alternatives and this time in their lives.   

IN THE HEADING :::::  Add, "For alternative users only, or those who are seeking information and support.  Do not post unless you qualify."  Simple.  Drama-free.

ME ::::: Outside of the excisional biopsy/lumpectomy, I am alternatives only.  I have been thus for decades.  Though at times I do falter on how to deal with my health issues, and therefore seek information and support for hypothyroid, etc., I am primarily on bco for information, support and to share whatever I have experience with.  I don't want the stress.  But when I see the arguing, the hassling, I want to be a peacemaker.   For me, this will probably need to stop.  

Do I really have to stay out of alternatives, play games only or go to the more light-hearted threads in order to find the support I need here?  I know several women who are doing so now, they don't want the issues that comes with the alternatives,  complementary and holistic threads, even though they want the information.  It always takes the turn annd does not serve them.  Me too.  There's always something.

I don't know about you all, but if I am making a choice that is just stupid, for whatever reason, I would really like someone to call me out on it, not blindly support my stupid-ness. 

I am all for respecting peoples personal decisions, but if its just dumb, it is and I feel lucky to have people that are strong enough to point that stuff out and explain why, even if I don't agree with it.

And this is why people leave...

I say something about what I would like in response to my doing something dumb, and that is what I get. I should have known better.