March 2012 chemo

Kltb, were you singing your refund song to Amy Winehouse's Rehab? That's what I imagined, lol.



I hope no tornadoes for anyone! Where I grew up in northeastern Missouri, thunderstorms and tornadoes came in the middle of the night, so scary. But I never saw a funnel until I moved to Colorado; I remember how dismayed I was that tornadoes actually happen here, too.



There is a pile of laundry in my bedroom muttering my name.... Maybe I'll listen.

Lol Indigo, I didn't have a particular tune...it was more of a chant.  Oklahoma got slammed last night and it's the same system that is moving this way today.  My neighbors have a storm celler but it would take me actually seeing one coming to try and fit us four and two cats in with the five of them and two dogs!

I just thought I was done earlier...I had one more load of laundry to fold.  Then I decided to clean the kitchen and very halfheartedly ran a swiffer over the high traffic areas of the floor.  I am DONE! Reheating a donated frozen lasagna for dinner and on the couch for the rest of the evening.

M - I am on mine too - I don't get PMS I get during the fact MS.  Plus my kids have been fighting at bedtime every night.  The oldest wants the youngest to sleep in her room and the youngest usually obliges but there is an argument every night about the closet light being on, the fan being on or off, the door being open or closed and yesterday I just couldn't deal.  DH deals with them every night but I finally got up and played the Mama with the Cancer Card and told them that their fighting was NOT good for my stress level and immune system and I was going to go sleep in the camper if they didn't shut up.  Then I felt bad.  Cause they cried.  But they stopped fighting

K - lMAO! Our cancer has to come in handy for something! I think I'm just tired and frustrated. Maybe even jealous of everyone out there enjoying the weather and I have no energy. Or I'm just a b&$@?. Pretty sure dh would agree with the last one!

Masserz - the good thing about this website is that we don't have to be positive. When you're feeling that way feel free to pm me or even call. I think at times it just turns out to be to much for us. I miss my old life, I miss my energy, I miss my wine, and I miss my hair! This sucks and were allowed to be upset or pissed. And they had better thank their lucky stars I don't have fire starter powers!!!

Yes isn't it great that we can still taste chocolate!  It is the little things in life!

Hi Everyone!  On the topic of intimacy, thanks for bringing it up Masserz.  I loved the Frankenstein boobs comment!  Not sure if you mean with tissue expanders or without, but I just have a flat chest with 2 big scars.  Not appealing.  Being bald definitely makes it worse.  We have had a little action, but I wear a top and my squirrel (wig)!  Worried the Tamoxifen is going to kill my interest.  Question about that... My onc wants me to start now, then go off for lat flap reconstruction June 7, then go back on after I'm back on my feet.  I told her I don't want to start til after surgery.  My thinking is that Tamoxifen will be limited for me anyway, as my pathology report says only 51%positive for estrogen (67% for progesterone).  Any thoughts on that?  Those of you that are positive, what are your percents?

Also, I am about to turn my longer-haired wig into a hair halo, as I hate it and dh says it looks fake.  Anyone try that?  I figure I'm not going to wear it the way it is, might as well try to make it work.  

Thanks for any advice on the Tamoxifen!

Amy 

Amy,sorry I didn't see your post until after I sent mine. I think most MOs prescribe Tamoxifen for anyone that is ER+. If your cancer has receptors, it should give you a benefit even if it's not on the high end. I'm ER- but will taking it for five years because I'm around 10%PR+. There was a recent study done that showed it increases survival rates for my hormone profile so I think it's worth the shot. I don't want to go through this again. Not sure about going on and off though...I think I'm with you. I'd rather wait and then do it and not start and stop. And I'm rocking the tanks in bed too. I told DH that was the only way I was going to feel comfortable enough to do it for now. I have expanders, but they aren't pretty. It's like having lumpy rocks in your chest under the scars...not attractive.

Masserz - I feel the same way. For some reason it hit me really hard today. I haven't cried this much since I was diagnosed. Now everyone in the house is ignoring me since I've been so quiet and hateful and that's pissing me off even more! Lol! You know it's bad when they went dirt bike riding in all this mud

Indigo

Can't say I had an early period.  I was a bit of a late bloomer and was one of the last of my friends to get mine at age14. Most of them are a year younger than me too so I was concerned but it did come eventually.  I never boobs to speak of then all of a sudden C's. 

Masserz- im ER pos and finally stopped period this month after 3 rd round. hope it's gone for good. It would be interesting to see if there is a trend. I'm 45 and started when I was 13. That's long enough.

Masserz:  ER+, Last period was one day after TX#1...March 2nd.  I'm 43.  I was about 13 when my period started.

Sissydi- I had the exact problem first AC and I swear the Pepcid made it worst. My ONC put me on prescription of protonic. It has made a world of difference.

January - sorry it finally is starting to go - it held in there for a while!  Let us know how your hairdresser appt goes.

Kim - your body DID do a workout - a cancer killing workout - too bad it doesn't show up on us on the outside, no?  Have a good day at work.

MLB - yes, that has been on here for awhile but is on a premium channel we don't get - I may try to rent or watch online previous seasons if you start watching and it looks good - I love series/dramady  type shows.  I was so ready for Mad Men to come back but it is getting a little stale to me.  I have been on a movie kick lately since I got that DVD player in my bedroom where I can curl up and watch movies alone - last night Black Swan (creepy weird) and The Girl W/the Dragon Tatoo the night before (had read the book, was prepared, closed eyes during the cat scene, poor kitty).

Masserz - I started my period at age 13 1/2 on Super Bowl Sunday - lol - I will always remember that.  I am on #2 of A/C and it is still regular and strong as ever.  And I am so sorry chocolate tastes like ass.  LOL.  My taste still seems to be ok but drinks kind of taste off - esp diet coke, which I don't probably need to be drinking anyway.

All - I agree with the venting - that is why we are all here - vent away if you need to - I know y'all got sick of me obsessing about the rib pain when I was consumed with it, you are just too nice to say anything.  We don't all always have to be up and happy - we have to do that enough IRL.  Ok, I don't, I confess, when I am down, everyone knows (refer to yesterday's bitch post).  But you know what I mean.

Indigo - that *is* a risk factor, or at least a suspected one because it is on all the questionnaires and medical forms.  I worry for oldest DD because she was 11 this past summer when she started.  Another reason I must be screened for the gene(s).

Michelle - I hope you are having a better day today!!!!

Sissy - I haven't had the indigestion too bad this go round (#2).  The first round was awful.  I am halfheartedly taking the Prilosec when I remember and then chugging Mylanta when I don't - which has the added benefit of moving things along in my system. 

Well, I guess I am about to go for the day.  I have on real clothes, my $($*@($*( wig, makeup, and even my contacts although they are bugging me.  Have to run a few errands w/my mom, labs at noon, then the Look Good Feel Better Class which I really don't wanna go to but I want some free swag.  LOL.  I just don't do well when I have to actually talk.  To people.  With my voice.  

Lana, I was that way ALL last week worrying about those xrays - I was convinced I had mets, I was sure that I was going to be Stage IV from the get go.  I did nothing but read the Stage IV boards.  It was awful.  Now, I didn't say this to my kids, disclaimer! - but after an awful row with oldest DD I muttered to myself "Well, I won't be a problem to y'all much longer."  Or think "you're going to miss me when I am gone."  Somehow I have worked myself out of that back into a state of acceptace and denial this week and think everything is going to be lovely.  You gotta remember too, that people that post here or anywhere for that matter, post for a reason.  The survivors are out living their lives.

And about your aunt, WHY THE HELL do people tell us shit like that - I shared this on another thread a few weeks ago but RIGHT after my dx some man my dad was talking to told him "oh, yeah, breast cancer that's bad, my wife suffered for years and died a few years ago"- WTF?  Made my DAD, a stoic gentleman CRY after my parents were alone! 

Ok, omg, I don't know where that came from... my wig is making my damn head hurt.