March 2012 chemo

Lostinmo: that is amazing! Must feel so good!

MLB - so glad you had fun at your party! 

KCB

Nothing beats being in your own home.  I can understand your nervousness mind you.  Sleep well in your own bed tonight!!

KCB - so glad you are home...continued well wishes.

Lost - excellent news - like I said, I didn't get more than a quick feel up and "looks good", lol. Glad you got definitive results.

MLB - so glad you had a good time last night.

Kim - hope you got your errands done!

munnybunni - sorry you had a bad port experience

In a FOUL mood - ugh - don't feel bad enough to feel bad, but certainly don't feel good.  Didn't accomplish much today except paying some bills.  Try again tomorrow.

Indigo - that's pretty much what they're like. I got one after my first tx and it sucked! I couldn't eat anything and even Gatorade would burn my tongue. I was a big baby with that.



Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Hey Ladies

I never got any mouths sores at all!  I rinsed with Soda Water and ate alot of popsicles. I used to get them a ton when I was a kid and always wondered why.  I can remember my Mom buying this licorace flavoured salve when she was in Ireland, it worked really well. Can't remember the name of it though and we couldn't get it in Canada. She brought home a major supply so we had it around forever it seemed.

Indigo

Its like seltzer but I have heard some use baking soda and water as well. Up here the most popular brand of club soda is Canadian Club.

Indigo-not really sure if I could feel it working or not, I would sometimes have twinges in the area, so maybe?  Also I was told to rinse with salt water twice a day to help kill bad bacteria and help with mouth sores.

Kltb- I think my change was more noticable because I have skin involvement, my tumor stuck out like a 3rd boob. But I can sleep on that side again! Now if I could just sleep.

I let my DH shave my head, it was itching so bad and falling out in chunks.  I don't look near as good as the rest of you!   I'll keep mine covered!  My son got his shaved too, he looks better than me. 

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. WE CAN DO THIS! 

Morning ladies...up with the sun and ready to do my taxes...been putting it off but the deadline is Tuesday so I guess I better get started.  Perhaps I judged the Restoril too harshly.  I tried it again last night and slept about 7 hrs straight - still had wild and wacky dreams (I do so all the time) but not the actual waking/tossing/turning and going back to sleep.  So I decided to go ahead and get up while I was feeling rested rather than lie there another couple hours.

 Mouth sores - the last time mine were actually under my tongue - gross.  The regular ones don't bother me too much because I get them all the time.  Years ago, pre kids, so about 1998 I remember DH and I going to Houston for Thanksgiving with his family and the only thing I remember about the trip is I was miserable the entire time because of a mouth full of sores.  There are various things you can use to numb them, from Choloraseptic spray to ora-gel to more specific meds for the sores that will temporarily deaden them but once you get them it is really a waiting game...the mouthwash some get with the antifungal (nyastatin, etc) will help if they are of a fungal nature but not all are.

Indigo - I wish the sun would set on my period - ugh - I thought it was supposed to but it is still going strong - going to ask MO the next time I go...I know that after TX, other measures are going to need to be taken since I am ER+...one step at a time I suppose.

Lost - glad you got the head shave done...I am keeping mine covered as well...I don't even look at myself, lol.  If I do by mistake it is a shock - like "what is that pale bald creature in my mirror?"  That said, I am minimally doing it at home...I just throw on one of these care caps or a knit sleep cap.  DH told me the other day that the way I had the sleep cap perched on my head, I looked like a "Seven Dwarves" character.

Alright, enough delay, might as well get started...the rest of the house is asleep aside from Harry the Cat who is staring at me from the ottoman and wondering why I have roused him from his sleep with my presence.  I wonder if he would hop in the car and go buy me some donuts....

Kltb- thanks now I want donuts. LOL it's 30 miles for me to get any so guess that's out. Good luck with your taxes, ours have been sitting here for a week waiting to be signed and put in the mail.  Guess we better get that done.  I had to laugh about your DD, our DS did the same thing when he was younger, usually when we hadn't seen the movie yet. I was also wondering about the ER+ thing. Keep forgetting to ask.  They could remove my stuff wouldn't miss that at all, only did me any good once!

Indigo-my DS has been a big help to me he has taken over the laundry and a few other chores for me.  He does draw the line at dishes though.  After he did them once I saw his point, he's not good at that.

On mouth sores, when my DS was small he got hand, foot and mouth ( no we can not be normal here) and the dr told me to give him a mixture of liquid benadry, maylox, and motrin.  Wonder if we could do that?  It helped his mouth sores.

I realize I can't spell. 

Kltb glad you found your papers.  I have several drawers like that, my problem is I can't remember which ones.  I passed on donuts and settled for potato salad.  Not the best diet here, Heathly food has never been on the top of my list, but I'm trying! 

I can't seem to get motivated today. I'm not tired, just don't want to do the stuff that needs to be done. 

Hi everyone! My Day 17 after tx2 and I finally think I'll be having a good day. I've tried to get caught up on the posts and it sounds like there's been a lot going on while I was curled up in my corner!



Amymom, I'm sorry if I was worrying you. You are sweet to notice my absence, I was just so exhausted and achy I couldn't find the energy to respond to anything. I Have to work online all day so by the time I was done with work I couldn't even shop online. Now that's bad! : ). I'm glad you are still checking in...you will always be one of us!



Kltb, how did you like the Descendants? I thought it was great. But then we saw it at Cinopolis and I'm inclined to like any movie viewed from a recliner while being served cocktails. Thought I'd share my lazy laundry tip with you...I also air dry most of my clothes because ai have a really hard time finding things that fit my weird frame, but I despise ironing. I let everything completely air dry then toss anything non-delicate in the dryer on air fluff or really low, gentle dry cycle. It softens and fluffs up the fibers and removes wrinkles without shrinking or fading them. Then you should only have to iron anything you want to look crisp, like dress shirts. It saves me tons of time, but you have to be sure to take them out and hang, fold, etc as soon as the cycle is over or they will get wrinkly again.



Ladyfighter, you look fantastic! Especially your smile...it just made me happy looking at you! : )



CAYH, I love your wig! You look fabulous! I think I want one in that style too for when I don't want to deal with my long one.



Myleftboob, I am so proud of you for not letting your insensitive friends hold you back. It sounds like you had a wonderful time at that party! You are one strong, awesome woman and I think I can speak for all of us here when I say it's an honor to be your friend!



KCB. I'm speechless. I am so sorry for what you are going through and it was such a relief to read that you are now home! Being home makes all the difference. I hope you can rest and recover quickly! Please keep us posted on next steps. You are amazing...I'm not sure I could have been as strong as it sounds you were!



Munnybunni, another tip to get rid of the remaining stubble is the hang out in a warm shower for a while and gently rub your head with a slightly soapy washcloth. I did that and was blown away how much hair came out without any discomfort. Although I did get a little pruney...



Januaryice...I wonder if you'll be one of the lucky ones who doesn't lose your hair? I will SO cross my fingers for you that's the case! I guess I would recommend though hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst just in case. I have found that this whole process is a series of victories and disappointments. Here's hoping you have a victory!



Lostinmo, congratulations on the shrinkage! That's fabulous news! I almost envy you the tangible results. I just have to go on faith that I'm going through this hell for a reason. About shaving...give yourself some time to get used to it and you may feel more comfortable about the way you look. Not saying any of us are going to like it enough to make it a permanent choice by any means, but I can tell you that it no longer shocks me when I look in the mirror. Last night I was laying on the couch (exhausted after a long family dinner) and DH put his hand on my head out of habit. He snatched it away and apologized because he knows I've been self conscious, but really...it didn't bother me at all!



Did I tell you guys that DH shaved his head for me? We've started calling ourselves Mr. And Mrs. Potatohead. ; ). We even bought stick on mustaches and clown noses and funny little hats so we can take pictures with different combinations. Sometimes you have to have fun with adversity.



So no one who is uncomfortable with this topic needs to read or reply, but so many of you are very open that I feel comfortable asking...am I the only one here having trouble maintaining intimacy with DH/significant other during chemo? I had surprised myself after the MX by not having any issue with sex even though I had Frankenstein boobs, but now adding bald and pale and tired to it all...I just don't feel like it. A big part of me wants to keep active, but it's just so tough right now. On the other hand, three months is an awful long time to go without... Sorry if that's TMI...



Finally, I have to share...my grandbabies are girls! DD had a very cool sonogram and they were wiggling around and beating each other up. She's going to have her hands full for sure! DH has been calling them Shakira and Beyonce to annoy my DD. : ). I can't wait to meet them!

Getting a refund, getting a refund (in song form)...don't know what I did wrong because we have had to pay the last 2 years but I am going with it. Seriously, we did up our withholdings last year because we had had to pay in and I guess it paid off.  I am going to TRY and use the money to repay my stubborn parents for a daybed they bought oldest DD when all this started.  If they won't take it, I shall use it to buy things for their new house whether they like it or not.

RE: Filing -  I know right?  I have a multi-tier system for postponing actually filing anything. I have the drawer and a select few items - bills and now medical stuff - get their own file folders I keep on my desk.  Then I have 3 desk drawers that I stuff things into - kids work, papers to save, and eventually it makes it's way to a file box and storage boxes in the closet.  

Lost - potato salad for breakfast - yucko.  Then again I will not eat potato salad for lunch or dinner either.  I will not eat it with a fox, I will not eat it in a box.  I do not know what is wrong with me today.  I feel high as a kite and the only meds I had were 2 ibuprofen at 6:30 this morning.

MLB - What is Cadbury's Fruit and Nut?  I think Cadbury and I think chocolate creme filled egg.

Jeanne - I use the Biotene too...but not religiously (I am bad not to swish after I eat, etc..) I am finally getting used to the toothpaste...at first it felt like it wasn't working because it doesn't have the strong "toothpastey" flavor/texture. 

Masserz - I really do need to do that with my laundry...old habits die hard I suppose.  I liked the Descendants - it wasn't as tear jerky for me as it could have been due to them all having such ISSUES.  But having two girls, I did get a little teary towards the end.  And I want to go to the movies with you. Hell, I live in a dry county and we can't even buy alcohol at the store much less the movies.  But since I have cut that out too (that is a whole 'nuther post) I guess it is a non-issue.  Love that your DH shaved his head too.  And grandbabies, wth?  You don't look old enough for grandbabies.  Congrats.  I have twin nieces that are 9 - they do not look like they are related, much less twins.  Handful is an understatement.  When my SIL had my nephew a mere 19 months later, it was a breeze because she was so used to dealing with the two.  

RE: intimacy.  It is a non issue here because it has been a nonissue for a while for other reasons (so sad, I know)  A few health problems with DH, then my lack of libido.  Plus my overwhelming fear of getting PG since I am not on pills anymore.  At the risk of him killing me should he ever read this, I assume he takes really long showers for a reason and well, um, I take care of business myself occasionally.  It is something I know will only get worse once I start any therapies suppressing estrogen and I know there are a lot of topics on the board regarding help with the matter.  Just is on the back burner for us now.  It hasn't helped that until I was dx there were two kids in the bed with me at any given time (he has apnea/snoring issues too so I still really can't sleep with him in the same bed) but anywho, that is just my situation.On a good note, I have gotten the kids out of the bed.  

Congratulations you all know more about me than anyone else on this planet.  Do not use this information for evil.

LOL on the consipiracy theory Indigo!

Ok, bit the bullet and ironing is all done...started with some Pink blaring (inspired by the fact that she was a lead in the movie I was forced to watch against my will this morning) and finished up with some Fleetwood Mac.  

Watching the weather and trying to decide whether to clean out my tornado closet.  I am going to be PISSED if all my laundry and ironing gets ruined by a tornado.  

Masserz - I've been dealing with the same issues regarding sex. It's really hard to feel desire for anything when you feel crappy most of the time. I even get angry sometimes when he wants it, then I feel bad. I don't let him know I'm angry though. He's still "normal" so to speak. It's good to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way.



Did get my laundry done and kitchen cleaned today. But I'm just in a hateful mood and don't know why. I don't know if I want to cry or choke someone. Think I just need to hide out in my room the rest of the day.