Dx'd today with recurrence to chest wall

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Sonata
Sonata Member Posts: 221
edited June 2014 in Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis

Please forgive me if this all seems disoriented. I'm still feeling kind of shell-shocked, somewhere in-between numb and pissed off.

Two weeks ago is when this all began. I went for my regular every 3 month checkup. First thing that was off was tumor markers. They were abnormally high. My onc doesn't put much weight in those alone, so off I went to have a CT scan. I also sought a 2nd opinion (one I'd been meaning to do for a few months but had put off). Then just for my own peace of mind, I sought a 3rd opinion, this time at a major cancer center in a nearby state. After reading the scan, she wanted me to have a PET scan and a bone scan. I thought nothing of any of it.

I traveled home and got my results today. :( Locoregional recurrence in the chest wall, with 2 other microscopic shadows on my right hip and a rib. Dr said they are just going to watch those 2 spots, rescan in 2 months to see if any progression (wouldn't call that metastasis yet thank god). Biopsy to confirm will come sometime next week. Dr told me not to panic, still considered 'treatable'. Well, that's easy to say, not easy to do.

First line of immediate defense will be to start Arimidex. After biopsy, the rest of the course of treatment will be determined.

Can I be allowed to vent for half a second? I am SO mad....why does this cancer have a hold on me (or any of us)? Why won't it go away and STAY AWAY? I'm only 6 months out from my double MX. After surgery, I felt I could breathe a little easier and not have breast cancer the front and center of my life anymore. Boy, was I wrong. :( This is a 3rd recurrence for me. First time, I had a lumpectomy and chemo. Second time (just this past November), I had a BMX. Now this....just 6 months later. Dr says its very agressive, 3 recurrences in 2 years. :( I guess I should count myself lucky that the news wasn't worse, because we all know it could've been. But I've just had it with breast cancer!!

Ok, vent over. Anyone have any words of encouragement to offer? Or maybe just let me know you've been there, you understand. In my life, I have 1 friend who truly understands (she's recurred 3 times as well). So I'm feeling pretty lonely right now. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. :(

 Thanks for listening.

~SS

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  • beau
    beau Member Posts: 374
    edited April 2012

    Hi SS,

     I am so sorry to hear what you are going through!! I know someone will come along who has been down the road that you are on with words of advice so hang in there. There is a thread here for multiple recurrences so you might want to check that out.

    I am just glad (and not glad) that you went for another opinion to a major cancer center where they did a complete work-up. I am hoping that you will get through this and look back NED. Thinking of you. best, Beau

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  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 1,931
    edited April 2012

    Hi Cate,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your recurrence - I just want to send you a hug and healing vibes.  I'm glad that you  are at a major cancer center - I hope whatever treatment they give you gets you back to NED.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2012

    Just noticed your post.  Thinking of you dear one. 

    Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." 

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  • Timbuktu
    Timbuktu Member Posts: 1,906
    edited April 2012

    So sorry to hear this.

    I can't sleep myself, worrying about a lump under my mastectomy scar.  two drs say it's scar tissue but how do i know withouit a biopsy.  I think we're all in this fight forever.  It stinks.  I guess I should say something upbeat about hope and courage but I just wish they would discover a cure for this lousy disease!  It seems everywhere i look, people have it.  I hope you get through this ok, I hope we all do.  I think i'd better get to a a cancer center too. 

    I'm sorry... for all of us.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited April 2012

    ((((SS)))) We are right there, pounding our fists with you. We're so sorry for this news, and are thinking of you. Just know that we and all of the members here are right by your side, supporting you through this!

    Please keep us updated!

    --The Mods

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  • Tatina123
    Tatina123 Member Posts: 480
    edited April 2012

    Sending you hugs..... T

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  • Yanyan
    Yanyan Member Posts: 38
    edited April 2012

    Sorry to hear about your recurrence SS. You are not alone. I was just dianogsed a recurrence last month in the skin of the cancer breast.- less than one year from a double MX. The first 2 weeks after learning about my recurrence was tough. Now that i am on treatment, it gives my mind some peace. I am on xeloda and tykerb. Good luck

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  • Sonata
    Sonata Member Posts: 221
    edited April 2012

    Biopsy is scheduled for tomorrow morning. My BS was dismayed to hear of the recurrence.

    At this point, I know for certain that I will be doing the following:

    1) As I am still pre-meno, but unable to take Tamox, I will begin Lupron shots--get the first one tomorow.

    2) In a week or so, after making sure my estradiol levels are low enough, I will begin Arimidex.

    3) I'm probably looking at another round of chemo. :**( This, for me, is the worst part. I can handle anything else. But since I've been through it once already, I know what to expect. And that is sometimes more difficult than NOT knowing what to expect. Not certain what drugs I'll be given, we really haven't gotten that far yet. All I know is I want one of the BIG guns, as this is my 3rd recurrence. I have NO desire for there to be a 4th.
    I have 2 children (ages 8 & 7) and no help at home, my dh is an over-the-road truck driver. I have no parents or siblings to help. In the past, I've relied primarily on friends/church family to help me. Even though I have the reassurance that they'll be here to help again, its hard to keep asking, kwim?

    4) The onc also suggested rads, but I'm not certain I'm comfortable with that. The recurrence is dead-center of my chest, which means the rads couldn't miss my heart/lungs. And that scares me. Anyone with experience with this particular dilemma?

    I appreciate your support. At least here I know I can find others who know how this all goes and understands the feelings that go along with it.
    I am just supremely p*ssed off at cancer! I wish it would leave me, and all of you, the hell alone.

    ~Cate

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  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 7,209
    edited April 2012

    Hi Southern!

    I will be very surprised if you get No 2 AND No 3. I bet that you will be on just the hormonals for at least a while. Now, I could be wrong, but it would be unusual to have both chemo and hormones at the same time.

    I am two years out from discovering mets to the chest wall and plueral lining and have been NED for at least a year on just hormonals. [In my case, aromasin failed but Faslodex is my current Prince.] I am fully functional. I work. I live. I don't have young children at home.

    Early on, I would have needed to enforce a quiet hour in the afternoon to catch a small nap. With the right activities, perhaps your children would actually enjoy their quiet time.

    Not being blind, just giving you the possibility that there is a less difficult path.

    *susan* 

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  • Likeachickadee
    Likeachickadee Member Posts: 116
    edited April 2012

    Cate,

    I'm very sorry you are going through this.  Cancer sucks and isn't fair!  Vent anytime you need/want to. 

    Prayers and cyber hugs to you.

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  • somanywomen
    somanywomen Member Posts: 872
    edited April 2012
    SouthernSoprano...You have been through so much, so sorry this crap is back...There is another dealing with a recurrence and she is angry, she is mad...She is in the "December 2009 Rads Group", I have been trying to give her some words of encouragement and just to let her know we in the Group will be supporting her in anyway...Since I just read your Post and you are sounding a lot like her, I thought you might want to reply to her and know that you are not alone....She goes by Veggy and you will find her posts in the most recent of the group mentioned above...Wishing you the very best as you have to be so strong again and get through this with as much gusto as possible, I know it's easier said than done.......Jewly
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  • PatgMc
    PatgMc Member Posts: 1,315
    edited April 2012

    Dear SS, please know that I will be praying for your peace of mind. It's hard to wrap your mind around going back into treatment, I know. I just this week found out my BC is back in the chest wall. I'm 18 years out from BC#1 and 10 years from BC# 2. I'm thankful that a bone biopsy was negative and liver "spot" was nothing. I will start Taxol/Carbo in May - 6 cycles. (Had FAC in '94). It has been quite a journey but I've found a lot of comfort in reading Max Lucado's work. He's a good writer on Bible topics and you can read a good bit at his website. The first chapters of many of his books are available online and I recommend "Fearless". SS, God understands your anger and your fear and he'll place just the right people in your life to walk you through. Is there a support group in your town? I'm in Memphis and I'd love to invite you to mine. It includes women who had recurrences in a whole variety of body parts and they're alive and well today after many, many years. I pray that for you, my new survivor-sister!

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  • TonLee
    TonLee Member Posts: 2,626
    edited April 2012

    I'm so sorry SS.  I'm praying for you and your family.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2012

    I was only 4 month out of a bilateral mastectomy when they found the bc had come back to my internal manners nodes and a small spot in my lung. I was on treatment for 6 months and it was working but my blood counts kept going too lie so they switched me to a new medicine in march. That one didn't work and it started growing again. So now I'm hear waiting around to hear if I got into any clinical trials. The waiting is driving me crazy knowing that it's growing. Good luck to you.

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  • DeborahC
    DeborahC Member Posts: 114
    edited May 2012

    Cate, I am so sorry to hear you have to go through this.  I had a tumor in the center of my chest (Hodgkin's) that was radiated.  They did their best to shield my heart.  That was 20 years ago.  I have had no heart or lung problems.  I did probably get this breast cancer from the radiation, but had a good 20 years (and hopefully more).

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  • KeepingFaith69
    KeepingFaith69 Member Posts: 508
    edited September 2012

    My prayer for you is joy, vitality and ease.  Sending cyber higs to you and your family

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