Sexual Misconduct

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thirdeye
thirdeye Member Posts: 10
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I wrote the poem below but now I can let go for it no longer serves me because grievances, grudges, resentments, comparisons, envies, and gripes. They serve no one – they fester inside – they distract our mind from feeling bliss and our heart from loving. They sour into bitterness, self-righteousness, cynicism, and arrogance. And in time, these self-inflicted feelings of discomfort morph into dis-ease in our physical body and in our mind. And then ultimately, they turn into disease. When we forgive, we free ourselves from the tie that binds us to the one who hurt us. We become LIBERATED -

Namaste



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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited April 2012

    I'm sorry----did something happen?  I'm missing something here.

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  • RaiderDee
    RaiderDee Member Posts: 150
    edited April 2012

    Right there with ya, Camillegal... BC as performance art? I'm missing something here too.

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  • Katarina
    Katarina Member Posts: 386
    edited April 2012

    Is your poem about a Surgeon who crossed boundaries and violated patient / surgeon relationship?  I can imagine who you might be talking about.

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited April 2012

    Got me baffled too. Hmmm!

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  • luv_gardening
    luv_gardening Member Posts: 1,393
    edited April 2012

    The few times I've written poetry it's been really healing.  Better than any therapist and can be repeated when needed.

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited April 2012

    One of my can't sleep nights----so I cam back here thinking it would be more clear. As usual things don'tget more clear for me--it's the same ??????????????????

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  • CapeBretongirl
    CapeBretongirl Member Posts: 364
    edited April 2012

    (((thirdeye)))

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  • thirdeye
    thirdeye Member Posts: 10
    edited April 2012

      It is still kind of raw ,I'm taking baby steps talking and writing it,  but I finally reported it.Unbelievable as it is, I had anesthesia awareness, woke up during the last 15 minuets on the operating table of my 8 hour reconstruction surgery. So heard a conversation about me that was very sexual, and what the surgeon wanted to do with me, when he was all done.Had the flashback months later when he was taking stitches out of my new fipple. Yeah its a long story gets even better, PM if you want.

    Those damn surgeon Gods, he pick the wrong lady warrior to pulled this crap on! 

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  • Kicks
    Kicks Member Posts: 4,131
    edited April 2012

    So you're saying the entire OR staff was verbally sexually assaulting you?

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  • Letlet
    Letlet Member Posts: 1,053
    edited April 2012

    omg that's so horrible and disgusting!!!

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited April 2012

    Im getting real pissed off at the surgeon and his staff....real pissed off.I hope you rip him apart....

    Sending you healing thoughts and prayers.Damn this suks!!!!!

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited April 2012

    Are you 100% sure?  They give you some powerful meds during surgery and is it possible you are making an error and dreamed it?  Before you ruin somebody's career, you want to be absolutely positive.

    Now, if he did it than he deserves his career ruined but honestly, I think you will have a long hill to climb to prove it.  Somebody else in the operating room is going to have to agree that the conversation happened.

    I am glad you have poetry as an outlet.  That will help you. 

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  • Shrek4
    Shrek4 Member Posts: 1,822
    edited March 2013

    0

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  • JustLaura
    JustLaura Member Posts: 276
    edited April 2012

    Some surgeries are either audio recorded or video recorded. You might want to ask for your recordings - they would be a huge help.

    Good luck!

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited April 2012

    3 out of my 4 kids had braces.the dentist was a nerd.my X husband never liked him.he always called him a perv.years later they took him out in handcuffs for molesting a girl .

    There is a special place reserved in HELL for Drs.like him.

    You go girl.Get yourself a good lawyer.I wish you the best.

    My heart really goes out to you.

    huggggggs K

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  • thirdeye
    thirdeye Member Posts: 10
    edited June 2012

    Yes, I'am 100 percent positive, because I confronted the a-hole, at first he said the exact same thing about the medication. Then I was so mad I kicked him  ...kicked him HARD, and he was so shocked he confessed. He was so sorry from the bottom of his heart. blah,blah,blah for 20 minuets he begged for me to forgive him and come back to him, so I did forgive him.... because he gave me a beautiful breast a flat tummy, it was surreal. But those flashbacks were not going away so I got  help. 

     Yeah so don't tell I'm ruining someone's  career!!!!    HE DID IT TO HIMSELF!

    I already did win... I reported him, now its in the hands of skilled professionals. I will let the wisdom and intelligence of the MD board to judged him.

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited April 2012

    He certainly did, thirdeye - great that you are able to share this, and hoping it helps you.

    Congratulations for being your own best advocate.

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  • kayfh
    kayfh Member Posts: 790
    edited April 2012

    This happened in Sudbury On. The physician was charged and I believe found guilty. Once one woman spoke out many more came out of the woodwork. Third eye you are brave, you are strong and you will stop this person. Kay

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  • Letlet
    Letlet Member Posts: 1,053
    edited April 2012

    Thirdeye im so glad you reported him! I don't know why but when you wrote that you kicked him i was like YES, YOU GO! Instead of that line when you said you reported him. That satisfied my primitive reaction to the jerk...

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited April 2012

    Before they fry that son of a bitch my one wish would be for him to have a peckergram...

    I support you 100%..

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited April 2012

    A pecker-estomy - how about that?

    Or rads. Tongue out

    "Athena" who loves men, hates brutes, and also agrees about not posting at sensitive times if you can't be fully supportive.

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited April 2012

    Oh please let me do the peckergram....i dont care where he is I WILL DO IT WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE!!!!!!!

    seriously our sista was so violated.I pray you find peace and all the strength you need for this ugly fight...

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  • Layla2525
    Layla2525 Member Posts: 827
    edited April 2012

    Yep got myself girls,a girl breast surgeon and a girl plastic surgeon. Very smart and nice. Nothing against men,it just happened that way that I looked at the PS work and photo album and decided to go with that work and then had problems with scheduling and the surgeons staff so called patient coord nurse and she told me to go meet a dr at the beach and when I got there; a little girl walked in but I guess she is at least 35 but you know at my age everyone looks like a kid.

    So sorry those folks were dishonorable. Hope the Med Board kicks them out of med field for good!

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  • thirdeye
    thirdeye Member Posts: 10
    edited April 2012

     Thanks gals, oh I know there will be naysayers, that's why it so hard for women to come forward. I thought I was going crazy because it was just not that one time on the operating table, many follows ups, had some red flags going up. But my whole family adored this guy, he is tall, charming, handsome Mr personality. How could I even accuse him everybody loved him.But I also saw a dark side,just glad my intuition kicked in,,,,that little whisper,  and my dreams I always listen -- in a time of crisis. Before I knew if I even had BC I had a dream I was telling my cousin I had the big C, but that another long story ha ha.

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited April 2012

    thirdeye- I just came back here and read the rest of your posts, this makes me so angry and I am very sorry you had to go through this. I hope his license gets taken away, and not just a slap on the hand he deserves to have the book thrown at him. I always ask for a female gyno and if i ever have recon i will def make sure its a female PS.

    Hope you are able to cope with this and dont let this bast...d take over your memories!!!

    Warm hugs

    Debbie

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  • thirdeye
    thirdeye Member Posts: 10
    edited April 2012

    Nah won't let it happen. I know all the lady warriors are going to be with me along the way and I've known obstacles before,  this crisis shall too pass. My focus is to have the confidence in myself and possess the courage to stand up for what I believe in. It goes back to what I have always taught my kids. I might be short but I'm kind of a scrapper. LaughingThe  thing is that ......I think this path was chosen for me, it is a knowing, a intuition that maybe you can say I'm gifted with.

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  • misssis
    misssis Member Posts: 2
    edited May 2012

    I went through this. Be strong.

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  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited May 2012

    bump

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  • Fearlessfoot
    Fearlessfoot Member Posts: 165
    edited June 2012

    thirdeye, i love your poem.  i am so sorry this happened to you.  it should never have happened.  but it did and you have taken the courageous road that will save yourself and who knows how many other women who could have been subjected to the same abuse! 

    i have something very emotional regarding my BC that i need to get out of me and it is very personal and reading your poem reminded me that maybe it could help me to write a poem about it.  thank you for your bravery, for daring to start this thread, and for your expression! 

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  • thirdeye
    thirdeye Member Posts: 10
    edited June 2012

    Fearlessfoot,thank you for your kind words, this year has been a very
    reflective point in my life.  It seems for me to move forward and to have some peace of mind; I need to see some accountability.Six months ago I was not at that point; I was in so much denial, and still healing  from my physical wounds, I did not think of the huge emotional wound... that was evolving. My family was so hurt and just
    wanted me to move on and forgive. I will in time, because it is a much needed recipe
    for health and happiness. What still amazes me is how a plethora of academia minded people, all around him
    would buried the abuse, all in the name of big money and prestige...  so wish me positive strength
    and the wisdom of insight for just causes.   

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