Taking a deep breath

Options
SerenityRaging
SerenityRaging Member Posts: 3
edited June 2014 in Second or Third Breast Cancer

I've decided to take a deep breath and take my life back. I was diagnosed 7 years ago with IDC and ILC. It was so unexpected at 45 years old, with no family history. I felt i was on a runaway train. Everything went so quickly and it was all so foreign to me. I had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation.

The chemo put me into menopause. It was like hitting a brick wall. I was so unprepared for it all. In the years since I have never felt comfortable with myself or the changes in myself and my life. I never quite got back in contol.

 2 weeks ago during a routine mamogram they saw suspicious calcifacations. A biopsy showed it was DCIS. I spent a week thinking, crying, and reading. Went in to primary dr and said, I want a double mastectomy.  Now I am waiting for appointments with BS and PS. Waiting sucks. But this time I feel in control. This time around I am taking my life back. I still have bad moments, but I have yet to feel out of control. There is fear, sadness, tears, but now it feels like more of a challenge I need to meet head on, than a run away train.

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited March 2012

    Serenity:

    Aw, God bless you, how awful to have it come back.  I think that is the greatest fear that any one of us has, and will never be able to live without.  I'm 3 years our in late Feb with triple neg.  Caught it at stage 1, thank goodness, but who knows - there's no guarantee as this damn crap is so sneaky, no matter what the hormone receptors are.  Seems to know no rules and just does what it wants.  Please know I wish you all the best.  I go for my mammo next month and I dread it with a passion.  Glad you feel a bit stronger in handling it this time around, and thankful that the biopsy showed, if it had to be anything, that it was dcis.  Please keep us posted, so we can hold your hand throughout.

    Linda

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • MegN
    MegN Member Posts: 10
    edited March 2012

    Hi Serenity,

    I'm new here and in the same boat. My second primary, a different type of cancer on my other side, was diagnosed in January and I started chemo last week. I had a lumpectomy (both times) but will opt for a bilateral mastectomy after chemo is over. This is my third primary cancer, first one a childhood sarcoma, and I don't have the nerves left any to see what happens. I'm not happy to be going through it again, but I haven't even approached the level of hysteria I felt with my first breast cancer. 

    Did you meet with the surgeons yet?

    Meg

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Karen3
    Karen3 Member Posts: 307
    edited March 2012

    Hi there and same here. In fact, we were diagnosed with our first BC at the same age. It was diagnosed just after my 46th birthday actually - then neoadjuvant chemo (with no response) and then lumpetomy Jan 2010 followed by rads. Then diagnosed again with 4cm grade 3 DCIS in Oct 2011 in my other breast. I KNEW something was wrong in the summer 2011 - I felt pain and a 'ridge' which was growing (even though some insist BC it not painful). The last cancer was NOT picked up by mammogram or ultrasound, but because of my history they did a biopsy and the rest is history. Contralateral BC is fairly unusual (especially less than two years after the operation to remove my first IDC tumour) so I had the bilateral mast in Dec 2011. No regrets whatsoever. I am back to my normal job (teaching) and coming to terms with what has happened and of course the changes to my body.

    SerrenityRaging, you are not alone in this and goodness knows it's a blow. But, like me, you will do what you have to do and come to terms with your new situation. After, the clouds will lift and you will start to think ahead again. I suppose that once we are diagnosed with BC once, we know it could return. This, is our new 'reality'. Lets hope that, for both of us, we are over and done with this disease now. Please feel free to PM me if you need any info or advice. You will be O.K!!

    Karen XXX

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SerenityRaging
    SerenityRaging Member Posts: 3
    edited March 2012

    thank you for the responses. It means so much to know others have been there and understand. Its been a busy week for me. Had my appointment with the breast surgeon. I liked her alot and feel I am in good hands with her. I also met with the plastic surgeon. Blessed for a second time Smile  I am scheduled for bi lateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction on May 1.  

    I was so unprepared and ignorant the first time around. This time, was equally unexpected but I feel much wiser and better prepared. And the women on this board give so much of themselves on here and I thank each and every one.  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories