Haven't felt this fear in quite some time

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  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited March 2012

    Just wanted to say hi and wish you all the luck possible. I have had three chemo's and my arm has been badly damaged so having a line in for remaining three. I am so scared at having this and don't know how you girls are so brave with treatment.

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  • cp418
    cp418 Member Posts: 7,079
    edited March 2012

    Honestly ali - I'm not brave.  It's fear that drives me to do these treatments.....  Hugs

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  • Lindissima
    Lindissima Member Posts: 239
    edited March 2012

    Sandy,

    I am so sorry you have to go through this difficult time.  I don't have any  important information to add, just wanted you to know I am one of the  'silent' supporters reading your posts full of your beautifully expressed thoughts and feelings. I am  wishing and hoping for the best for you.

    Sending lots of hugs, strength  and healing energy your way. 

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  • finallynow
    finallynow Member Posts: 27
    edited March 2012

    I am so sorry you are going through this and have to wait so long for answers.  Sometimes the waiting is the hardest part and I know it's all I can think about when I'm waiting for any test results.  I have 2 lung nodules that are being monitored also and will have to wait a few more months for my next CT scan.  I am in my 30s and have had 2 different types of cancer already in my lifetime so I'm thinking these nodules should just leave me alone because I've already had enough cancer thank you! :)  And I totally understand when you say you are relieved that it may "only" be lung cancer!  Here's hoping that you get good news soon and that it's not cancer at all!  Good luck!

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  • Lumpynme
    Lumpynme Member Posts: 747
    edited March 2012

    sandy..sending you love, prayers and hugs.

    a note- whenever i am asked if i am a smoker i have to emphatically say no but every one around me always did...... so if it IS lung cancer it just shows what i have always known...

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  • jacksnana
    jacksnana Member Posts: 168
    edited March 2012

    Hi Sandy - what a hard day for you I once had two biopsies in the same breast (both were benign) where they inserted two wires at each site so they would know exactly where the areas were during surgery.  I had to be standing up and they were looking at a screen  That was pretty uncomfortable and it was nothing like what you went through. 

    Hope you're pain has subsided and that you're feeling better.  Thanks so much for keeping us up to date.   I so hope it is something of an "inflammatory" nature.  It's a shame you have to go through such an ordeal to find that out, but that's just the way it is for us once we've had BC, I guess.  And what a relief it will be to get that news!  Thinking of you...  Veda

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  • SandyInNj
    SandyInNj Member Posts: 48
    edited March 2012

    Just came back from seeing my surgeon.

    This time next week I'll be having surgery on my lung to find out if it's lung cancer, bc mets (hasn't been completely ruled out, this is why I'm still hanging out at a breast cancer site - doc doesn't believe it is, but I'm still worried), or just something benign that has turned my life upside down for the past few weeks (rooting for that one!).

    So when I wake up, it won't be until then that I'll know what it was and to what extent they had to do surgery.  Just the wedge section, entire lobe, or entire lobe plus part of neighboring lobe.  That's what really freaks me out...the not knowing until I wake up.  At least with my mastectomy, I knew I had cancer and was going to wake up with no breast...this time, there's no certainty at all.

    I'm all set up with work, they're allowing me to work from home on the days/hours I feel up to. 

    I'm going to enjoy this weekend, seeing friends, doing whatever I want, because I know next weekend is going to suck big time recovering from the pain (and possibly terrible news).

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  • SandyInNj
    SandyInNj Member Posts: 48
    edited March 2012

    Tomorrows the big day, I'll be sure to post once I'm able...I know when i've been following someones story, I like to know how it turns out, so I'll be sure to let you all know.  They are supposed to call later today with my scheduled time, but I was told it would be in the afternoon - which I hate, hanging round all morning waiting, and starving, and thirsty!  No coffee in the morning is going me make me a not-so-happy Sandy!

    So I originally posted on Feb 24, nearly one month later I'm still dealing with the unknown.  Just need answers now so I can go on with my life, regardless of the direction, I just need to know now.

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  • madpeacock
    madpeacock Member Posts: 369
    edited March 2012

    I've been lurking and following your story, so wanted to speak up and wish you all the best for tomorrow and a quick recovery! 

    {{{hugs}}} 

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  • Linda1966
    Linda1966 Member Posts: 633
    edited March 2012

    Me too lol. Good luck Sandy, hope the day goes fast for you and you get the best possible results

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  • PLJ
    PLJ Member Posts: 373
    edited March 2012

    Will be thinking about you tomorrow, Sandy. Praying for benign for you and wish you an easy recovery!

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  • reesie
    reesie Member Posts: 2,078
    edited March 2012

    Good Luck Sandy. Pulling for benign crap just turning your life upside down. My BS explained to me that they schedule surgeries for those styin overnight in the afternoon and same days in the morning. Makes sense when you think about it but doesn't help with the no eating or drinking after midnight either way :(

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  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited March 2012

    Been lurking as well keeping an eye on you.  Just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow..............here's hoping you wake with just the wedge gone and a wonderful report to follow.

    Love n hugs.  Chrissy

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2012

    Sending positive vibes your way, Sandy! :)

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  • Hope60
    Hope60 Member Posts: 223
    edited March 2012

    Hi Sandy - I've also been lurking here....Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, and sending positive vibes your way!

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  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 901
    edited March 2012

    Sandy - Hoping that tomorrow brings you just (amazing how BC warps us, that word seems to trivialize a wedge resection and I didn't mean to do that!) a wedge resection and relief from the anxiety from the unknown. Sending you warm wishes for an smooth and speedy recovery.

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  • sandilee
    sandilee Member Posts: 1,843
    edited March 2012

    I hope your surgery goes very smoothly and you get the information you need- and it's good news.

    Please return when you can and let us know how your are doing. 

    {{{hugs}}}

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  • SandyInNj
    SandyInNj Member Posts: 48
    edited March 2012

    Surgery moved up a bit, so at least not much waiting in the morning.  Arrive at 8:30 and surgery at 11:30. 

    I really do appreciate all of the support I've received here - hugs to all of you!

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  • LizR
    LizR Member Posts: 330
    edited March 2012

    Just saw your story - there are many of us thinking of you and wishing you the best outcome possible.   I cannot imagine how tough this must be - you are a very strong woman.  Hugs to you!  Liz

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited March 2012

    I've been following this too, I hope all goes well as we all do--and we're waiting===(((hugs)))

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  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited March 2012

    Fingers and toes crossed....

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2012

    Hi Sandy. Hope all went well and that you are resting comfortably. :)

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  • SandyInNj
    SandyInNj Member Posts: 48
    edited March 2012

    I'm finally home after a 5 day ordeal, BUT IT WASN'T CANCER of any kind!!!!!

    The spot which showed up on the CT and PET was left over from a previous infection or pneumonia.  So that should be something that you remember when you get those tests, that a positive scan doesn't always mean cancer. 

    That was alot to go through to find out, but it was the only way to know for sure and I'm glad I did it.

    I did have one painful setback when an xray tech knocked over my drainage container and it wasn't found until my husband arrived an hour later and I was starting to get pain I didn't previously have.  That's when he discovered it tipped over, which had stopped the draining of my chest fluid and then my lung to collapse.  The pain was nearly unbearable and caused me to have an extra day in the hospital as a result.

    But nothing matters right now exect that I am home and healthy and realized just how loved I am. Laughing

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2012

    FANTASTIC news!!! Laughing  So happy for you!

    Crazy about the tipped over drainage container Surprised 

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  • jacksnana
    jacksnana Member Posts: 168
    edited March 2012

    So happy to hear this! Sorry it was such an ordeal for you to get an answer, but what great news to get after all of that.  Congratulations!!!

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  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 901
    edited March 2012

    Sandy - Amazing news!!!! Hope you don"t ever experience the fear again. Hugs and happiness.7

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  • madpeacock
    madpeacock Member Posts: 369
    edited March 2012
    Oh that is GREAT news!! Now you can move on. Smiles, everyone, smiles! Smile
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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2012

    Sandy, we are SO pleased for you! After all your ups and downs, you're back to being a happy 10 year survivor. And that's always worth celebrating.

    The Mods

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  • BeingHopeful1
    BeingHopeful1 Member Posts: 203
    edited March 2012

    this made my day...

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  • cp418
    cp418 Member Posts: 7,079
    edited March 2012
    Smile  Jump up and down for Joy and Great News!!!!
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