March 2012 chemo

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  • Myleftboob
    Myleftboob Member Posts: 1,469
    edited March 2012

    Ah nsmolen! 

    I know how horrible it feels.  Sometimes you think your're prepared emotionally and then it really hits you.  I found dealing with the MX easier, you can put on a prostesis and no one's the wiser but it IS different with our hair.  But you have to have a good cry and stick on a hat.  We're all in this together.

    Hugs hun!!

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  • Sissydi
    Sissydi Member Posts: 516
    edited March 2012

    Girls, trust me, the hairloss gets better.......once it's out, and you have some cute hats or wigs, you do get accustomed to it. I don't like it, but it's better now since falling out. The only thing left is to grow back now! Thick and lush!

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  • Sissydi
    Sissydi Member Posts: 516
    edited March 2012

    And I forgot who, but somebody said " one month down!" That really helped me tonight!

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  • KCB
    KCB Member Posts: 365
    edited March 2012

    Hi All! I have read and caught up on all your posts since I was last here... I am sad that you are sad nsmolen, I am day 14 and it hasn't started for me yet, but know I will be wailing with you as soon as it does.and Shera I hear you about sleep- treat symptoms- sleep: I was there this past week, and thought it would never end...

    Welcome to the new faces, we're such a massive group...and such excellent company to

    Keep through this.

    Masserz you are so eloquent, thankyou for voicing what we all feel.

    ...so I am feeling so much better since my pit of woe let week, and I have found that the tiniest little moments of "good" seem so deeply wonderful when they happen. Like a walk on a warm sunny morning last week (on my one good morning) brought tears to my eyes, so thankful for even one moment of feeling ok... And one day a piece of music came on the radio that I have always
    loved, and it blew me away in a whole new way, and made me weepy.. And one morning the shower
    was exactly the perfect temperature and it was just so comforting...


    Sorry to be all hokey....

    Oh and tonight I was writing a thankyou note to someone for a gift card, and my iPhone did the autocorrect and I almost sent a note saying thankyou for the gift arse... I nearly died laughing, and that was about the most fun I've had in two weeks...

    Thinking of you all the time, hugs and wishing best strength to anyone who is down tonight.

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  • shera
    shera Member Posts: 184
    edited March 2012

    nsmolen - i don't think its possible to prepare for seeing part of our person "fall apart" or "fall off". It all seems like a bad dream.

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  • tellie_savalis
    tellie_savalis Member Posts: 121
    edited March 2012

    nsmolen-sorry, wish I had something better to say but,sorry.  Hope it gets easier.

    Maz- Well said and thank you!

    My good thing for the day.  I seem to think more now to be nicer to people.  As I wander through a store I realize no one knows what I am going through, so how many people are going through crap I don't know about?  I try to say please and thank you, excuse me, more.  It is easier to forgive rudness because on one hand, that small little petty thing means so little now comparatively and becasue I think, maybe, just maybe they have some horrible thing they have to deal with as well. When I feel good enough to drive I am so happy to feel good enough to drive I could care less if the person in front of me is going 45 in a 55.  While I am sad about a lot of things I find happiness in many things I didn't before.

    Congrats to all who made it through thier 1st Chemo today, good luck to those going in this week.  May all of us stay out of ER and min SE's!

    Corky

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  • journey4life
    journey4life Member Posts: 517
    edited March 2012

    I love reading the good things of the day. They help me stay hopeful and cheer me up when I'm down. Thanks, Katy and Corky!

    Today is Tx1 Day 15 for me and all I can think about is when is my hair going to fall out? I went to bed last night (the dreaded day 14) thinking that I'd wake up this morning with half of my hair on the pillow. It didn't happen. Now I'm worried that it will start coming out while I'm at work. I'm almost looking forward to "the big cut" tonight just so I'll stop thinking about it.

    Is our "new normal" always going to be filled with fear, anxiety, dread and waiting?

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  • MichelleMassey
    MichelleMassey Member Posts: 213
    edited March 2012

    Lisa- one of my friends is a 9 year survivor and she said the "new normal" during chemo is so hard but does get better. She said its filled with daily fears but eventually happiness and humor kick in. I'm trying desperately to hold on to the humor. Although I think it's a little more morbid than it once was!



    I'm TX1 day 2. I'm a little shaky but seem to be doing okay. Have to go get my shot at noon today. I felt bad watching all the guys run around trying to wash and sanitize themselves and my brother making sure everything was cleaned and cooked well. When I mentioned that I felt bad they said "hey were adjusting."



    My son was waiting in the waiting room when I got out of chemo yesterday and had bought me a Gatorade. I just wanted to cry right there. My humor in that is that he was holding the bottle in a sanitizer wipe!



    Hang in there we will beat this. Have a blessed day all!

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  • KCB
    KCB Member Posts: 365
    edited March 2012

    Hi again ladies of March: my Day 15 as well, lisa and nsmolen. Waiting for the shedding. I have no plan for today in terms of a chop. Going to wait and see what happens. I do have a wig but it is not at all what I hoped...starting to feel a little butterfly in th stomach about it, not sure I really believe it. Going to breathe deeply and enjoy my day, come what may. Take that, BC!!!!

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  • lanagraves
    lanagraves Member Posts: 596
    edited March 2012

    Good morning ladies! I feel almost like me again today. It's day 6 after 1st A/C treatment. Hope everyone is having a good day. So far, the worst SEs by far have been nausea and exhaustion. I had severe nausea and some vomiting starting on day 3 and lasting until yesterday. I'm wondering if a change from Compazine to Zofran might help. Other than that, it certainly could have been much worse.

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  • GeorgiaMom
    GeorgiaMom Member Posts: 66
    edited March 2012

    Good morning fellow Marchers! I've just read pages and pages of updates and would love to post individually but just can't do it with only one arm. So... welcome to all the newcomers! Good luck to everyone having treatment this week and healing thoughts for everyone suffering SE's.

    I had surgery on my wrist yesterday and it went very well. Really love me some propophyl and the percoset is my new best friend. I got a nerve block in my arm along with the general anesthesia. I was told that my arm would feel like dead weight but that I wouldn't feel any pain for 12-24 hours. Yeah, well they only got it half right - complete dead weight but lots of pain!!! I feel like I did when I first broke it but expect major relief tomorrow. So glad its over with!

    I'm getting my head shaved today and this time the wig I ordered is in, so no more "loaner"wig for me. I'm shedding like crazy so I think I'm ready to do this! I just hope I can manage to get the"loaner" on my head by myself since I'm home alone today. Could be interesting. I hope I don't scare anyone! Laughing

    Tomorrow I'm going back to work and then getting treatment #2 in the afternoon. I'm hoping to get away with just half a Neulasta shot this time since my bloodwork looked good. I don't need excessive bone pain right now - got that covered already!

    My positive for the day - only three more days until Spring Break!

    Have a great day everyone!

    Jeanne

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  • munnybunni
    munnybunni Member Posts: 156
    edited March 2012

    is treatment 2 the same as treatment one....do they give you same amount or do they bump it up

    i have never felt so tired...i feel absolutely useless..sleep so much...get so tired...

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  • journey4life
    journey4life Member Posts: 517
    edited March 2012

    michelle - its encouraging to know the anxieties lessen over time. Your sanitation story gave me a chuckle. How old is your son?

    Katy - I know exactly how you feel! I hope it'll give me a small sense of control when I cut my hair - one small victory against BC.

    Lana - be sure to check with your MO for something that'll take care of your vomiting and nausea. These days, I think they have an arsenal of things they can prescribe (or so they say). I hope you feel better in the days ahead.

    Jeanne - so glad your surgery went well and you're on the mend. I can't imagine how you're managing work, the wrist and treatments. Just goes to show you, we BC warriors are strong!

    To everyone having tx today, best wishes. Minimal SEs to ALL of us!

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  • MichelleMassey
    MichelleMassey Member Posts: 213
    edited March 2012

    Lisa- my son is 17. All the guys are making me laugh. When my hubby came home from work he washed his hands and covered his face in hand sanitizer before he even kissed me! It's an adjustment for all of us but everything will find its place eventually.



    I cut my waist length hair into a pixie before chemo hoping it won't be so traumatizing when it falls out but I think it's still going to freak me out. My friend told me though "as women were not defined by our breasts or hair."

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  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 1,051
    edited March 2012

    nsmolen - hope that you are having a better day today.  I was so sad for you when I read your post but I have to admit, I laughed at the "small dog" comment. :)

    ladyfighter - yep, fatigue is expected and loss of appetite too.  I am day 8 now and my appetite is starting to return and I am being able to taste foods again.

    Katy - lol "gift arse"...

    Glad to hear all the "good things" - Corky, I agree...sometimes I think "look at them, they are so lucky they aren't having to go through what I am" and then I think, how would I possibly know that? No one would know to look at me right now what I am going through so how can we know what battles others are fighting.

    Lisa - I think the new normal with get better with time but I am stuck in the worry cycle too, Good luck with the "big cut"

    Michelle - lol on the special wrapping for your gatorade...I have had periodic fits of germ phobia so everyone around me knows that you better wash your hands or I am going to insist!  DH has gotten to the point if he brings me anything he automatically says "yes, I washed my hands"  I have trained him well.

    Lana - I think the switch to Zofran would be worth a shot...I have heard it is stronger/more effective.

    Jeanne - glad the wrist surgery went well...hoping the pain gets better.

    munnybunni - I think the treatment amount stays the same but I have heard some people say that while the SE are not necessarily cumulative, you will have worst TXs than others. 

    Like I mentioned, I am doing much better physically today.  I think being done with the antibiotic has helped tremendously.  No nausea or headaches.  It is day 8 for me.  Done a little laundry and am currently getting caught up on season premeire of Mad Men.  Mentally, I have some things bothering me that logically I know probably aren't related to BC but I automatically make that connection.  Trying not to be too concerned as I had a clean PET (and this issue actually was something I noticed before my dx so it should have shown up if it was anything)...but I am a worrywart.  Ok, back to my show...

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  • onvacation
    onvacation Member Posts: 1,344
    edited March 2012

    Good afternoon ladies!  Hope everyone is doing OK today!  I went to work again, doing good energy wise, but I got home and noticed I have a rash on my collar bone.  Weird!  It doesn't itch or anything, just popped up.  It is above my port incision but about 2 inches away.  Is this a SE?

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  • Alicethecat
    Alicethecat Member Posts: 535
    edited March 2012

    Hi Onvacation

    I used to take multivits until I read this:

    http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/03/29/us-multivitamins-cancer-idUSTRE62S4F520100329

    Discuss with your medical team, maybe?

    Best wishes

    Alice

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  • lostinmo
    lostinmo Member Posts: 922
    edited March 2012

    Good afternoon everyone!  Just got home from having my port put in, doesn't really hurt but it is kind of creepy.  This is coming from someone that's never had anything except some teeth pulled and a c-section.  Hope everyone is feeling better today.  

    I should start my chemo friday, just curouis to what I might expect Frid. I've been trying to keep up with everyones comments but still get confused.

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  • Masserz
    Masserz Member Posts: 92
    edited March 2012

    I so want to read everyone's posts right now but you are making me cry with your amazing senses of humor and honesty and I JUST did my makeup to go out with the girlfriends. I'll have to catch up when I get back and it's safe to blubber.



    Before I sign off to go blow my nose (again) can someone tell me if there are instructions somewhere for posting pictures? I can't seem to find them and want to share a couple...

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  • onvacation
    onvacation Member Posts: 1,344
    edited March 2012

    Interesting article Alice!  Thanks for sharing!

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  • MichelleMassey
    MichelleMassey Member Posts: 213
    edited March 2012

    Lost-I was so nervous when I went in for my first chemo yesterday. They make you feel so comfortable that you lose all fear. I sat there and read, snacked, and talked to others in the room. I have been a little tired but aside from that day 2 is okay. Everyone is different but you will get through this. It's a scary time for all of us but the support on this site is awesome.

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  • onvacation
    onvacation Member Posts: 1,344
    edited March 2012

    Michelle - glad your first treatment went well!  They are so nice at the centers aren't they?!

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  • MichelleMassey
    MichelleMassey Member Posts: 213
    edited March 2012

    Unbelievably nice! My MO and his staff are awesome. I think we really don't feel like we have some form of control until treatment starts. Yah, chemo kicks our butts,but it's also taking the cancer down. At least that's what I've been telling myself! :)

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  • tellie_savalis
    tellie_savalis Member Posts: 121
    edited March 2012

    Lost- for me the port placement was way more of an event than the actual chemo.  Like everyone has said the nurses are very nice.  All in all it is pretty low key (I actually feel asleep during mine).  At my center it is an open room with several styles of big comfy recliners.  Everyone gets thier own heating pad and pillows.  I do bring a comfy blanket.  There are cookies, etc (most people bring something to share and the center provides stuff as well).  The other people there recieving treatment are all really supportive (kind of like this board).  Bring a book or something to keep yourself occupied. I get you about the port being creepy.  It kind of wigs me out to think it is in me.  I call it my borg port (star trek).  I also have a small titanium chip in my left boob from the biopsy so I call it my bionic boob.  I joke with my husband that at this rate I am becoming the new cyborg.

    Corky

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  • tellie_savalis
    tellie_savalis Member Posts: 121
    edited March 2012

    Oh- a good thing for the day.  My hair has started falling out...BUT I went out and brushed my horses today and they are shedding big time.  Looking at my jacket after I was done, which was covered in hair, I realized that when all my hair is gone I can just rub my head on my horses!  I have 3 horses, one black, one brown, and one white/grey so I even have my choice of colors.  This time of year we end up with horse hair on everything anyway, so why not make it a good thing? 

    Corky

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  • Amymomto5
    Amymomto5 Member Posts: 73
    edited March 2012

    This may be the end of chemo for me.  My oncologist is not happy about the reaction I had.  She is afraid it will happen again and could be life threatening.  The assumption is that it was from the taxotere, but we don't know.  She is going to talk to a couple colleagues who have 30 years experience, and get back to me later this week.  But she did say that we may have to accept that we tried chemo, my oncotype isn't that high, sort of "we did what we could..." now walk away and take tamoxifen and move on.  Part of me thinks yay! A get-out-of-jail-free card, so to speak.  Part of me wants to give it the 4 tries I signed up for...  And of course it's a lost cause now for my hair.  It's coming out in clumps - will have dh cut it off tonight.  Any input from you ladies would be greatly appreciated.  It may come down to me having to make the decision.  

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  • KCB
    KCB Member Posts: 365
    edited March 2012

    Wow Amy, what a shock! That must be so weird to have this possibility suddenly hit you... I don't really know what to say except that life threatening doesn't sound good at all. I'd be interested to hear about what your MO's colleagues think. That's a tough one, I can also understand why now you've started, it would feel crazy to stop- especially after all the psychological trauma, the hair loss, the telling yourself this is the best medicine you can get, etc

    I'm thinking of you while you mull this one over...

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  • onvacation
    onvacation Member Posts: 1,344
    edited March 2012

    Wow Amy, so sorry, but I guess you just have to wait and see what they tell you. (((HUGS)))

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  • Merrinell
    Merrinell Member Posts: 46
    edited March 2012

    My hair started falling out in clumps on 13th day of Cytoxan/Taxitere treatment.  Also that same day I began feeling better.  Alas, Onc had already decided I couldn't take the CT treatment because I ended up dehydrated and in ER 2X and IV's for 7 hours on 8th day.  Switched over to C(pills 1-14 days) and MF infusions 1st & 8th day of 28 day cycle.  WIll do this five times.  Have one treatment behind me, and this was much better than the C/T.  Some bad days, but last few days have been better.  I begin again next Tuesday.  Will finish treatments July 3rd and begin RADs in about one month.

    Amymomto5-I put up with hair falling out and my hairdresser went ahead and shaved it for me.  If I had it to over again I may have waited to see how much I could save.

    They decided not to do a port when I was going to do the C/T (4 chemos)...but  with the CMF I'm running out of good veins and they're having to stick me a lot.  With 8 more infusions to go, I'm wondering if they shouldn't go ahead and insert a port.  They can only use my right arm now.

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  • Amymomto5
    Amymomto5 Member Posts: 73
    edited March 2012

    My 3 yr old said "Don't be sad Mommy.  Your hair will come back, I promise"

    Boo hoo, it's buzzed off... 

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