When does it end??

So sorry to hear your story. I am newly diagnosed too. I am getting ready for chemo then radiation. I personally feel my whole life has changed, and live in fear of the unknown as well. There is no prediction as to what is in store. Just one step at a time for me. Everything changes. I have Xanaz for my panic attacks. The support is wonderful on here as is all the great feedback and knowledge. I had no lymph node involvement but because I have a high score from Onotype DX I am doing chemo. I am only ER positive. Everything else was negative for me with high scores. The doctor did tell it could come back. I guess I will have to be monitored. I am not happy with the whole story but I there is nothing I can do about it. It is what it is, and that is how I look it. I have no control over it. I have accept each outcome and trust I am in good hands with the doctors helping me. God bless you. We are all in the same boat rowing.

Erica, I promise, it does get better.  I am triple negative too and almost 3 years out from diagnosis.  I can't explain it but every day you get past your treatment, you start thinking less and less about it.  I will never forget what I went through but I also don't think about cancer every minute of every day anymore.  I'm 45 years old and it took about 2 years for me to get my life back.  I just got home from playing softball and having a beer at the bar who sponsors our team.  I promise it does get better.  The best way you can show cancer that it hasn't won is by simply living your life. I will always have the scars (BMX and recon for me) and I will always remember what I've been through but I'm still here living life on my terms.  I realize that not everyone is able to piece their lives back together like I have but it's the only way to get the upper hand on this shitty, shitty disease.  You had cancer, it doesn't have you.  Tomorrow will come with or without you.  Only you can decide how you will deal with it. Everyday you wake up in the morning is one more day cancer can't take away from you.  Live in the moment for yourself and for your family.  I promise with all of my heart that it does get easier as time goes by.  Good luck and be well,

Dee

ericaalaine- Sorry you had to be here but glad you found us. You will get lots of support here which really helps when you are feeling anxious there are many women here who are years out of tx (treatment) and doing very well. You will get lots of good support and good advice too. My daughter was dx (diagnosed) with BC before i was she is triple neg had a tumor over 6cm had a MX (mastectomy) and reconstruction did 6 rounds of chemo and rads she was barely 30 when she was dx it was also during the christmas season she is 5 years out and doing really well.

I know its really hard to not be worried about every ache and pain i know i have been there too, but i realized that if i waste my life worrying about somthing that may not happen then i wasted a lot of time for nothing its easier said than done but maybe some xanax will help it did me. I hope by being here and talking to all of us you will see that you are not alone and  how well most of us are doing. Please keep us posted you are in my thoughts and prayers

Gentle hugs

Debbie

Ericaalaine- I ate very well and exercised every day prior to my dx..I did extreme workout like p90x on a regular basis and made sure my diet had "a variety of colors" and I still got BC..now I try to eat well but I will not deprive myself if something looks yummy!

Of course when I was initally dx'd in early June 2009 I was obsessed and worried.  Then in December 2011 I was dx'd with brain mets.  I was worried again.  Between the 1st dx and the 2nd I lived in the land of denial, which I really enjoyed.  I now use Xanax when I have a bad day and just take it slow.  What Dee said about enjoy life and everyday you wake up is everday that you've beat it.

(((hugs)))

Ericaalaine - I was dx in January 2011; I went through a lumpectomy followed by RADS treatments and am now on Arimidex. I was scared out of my mind when I had the first mammogram since the DX. My BS asked me why I was so nervous..Seriously? It was fine and so far, so good with Arimidex. My next mammmogram is scheduled for next month and I am already anxious about it. It is my nature to be a worrier so having bc has just made me more nervous. I hope there is some truth to the 2 year statement. My mother was dx in her late 60s some 20+ years ago and she was told you might be home free after 7 years. To be fair a lot has changed since then in treatment, research, etc., so hopefully I can feel more confident before it is 7 years since my dx. I agree with others who say you have to live  your life and do  your best not to allow bc to control it. We are all branded with the C word and the fear factor that goes with it but we are still alive and doing everything possible to fight the disease and the recurrence. Keep that in mind. You are doing everything you can. It is in God's hands. Diane