NED..?

I don't know where this post really belongs, but I do know I need to bounce this off people who will understand.

I finished treatment about six weeks ago, and had my first follow-up with one of the ROs earlier this week.  He wasn't my usual person but a doc that I had seen at least once before.  Was talked a lot about my "surveillance" plan - what imaging I should have when, how many follow-ups per year, etc.  First of all what he told me was totally different than what my BS had prepared me for - less aggressive monitoring.  I called the RO on it... I was diagnosed at age 32, triple negative, BRCA1+... why on earth would he want me on annual mammograms only?  (He did agree to consult with my BS, and later called to let me know they would follow the surveillance plan BS recommended. Phew!)

But that's not the most disturbing part.  I asked him when I could consider myself more or less NED... I was so anxious during this appointment I don't remember what I said exactly, but I forgot to term NED.  Instead I mistakenly said "in remission" or "cancer-free" or some other erroneous term.  So he went into this long explanation about "we can't ever really say you're cured" and "there are no guarantees that you are cancer-free"... okay, FINE.  I get it, you don't need to remind me of how uncertain life after really is.  Sorry I goofed on the term, jeez.  But, at the end of that belittling little diatribe, he did conclude that as of that visit, he considers me NED.  

You would have thought I'd jump for joy!  That's what I've been waiting for almost a year to hear!  But it was terribly dissatisfying, and I can't put my finger on why.  Is it because he only did a clinical breast exam, and I haven't yet had any imaging that "proves" it?  Or is it because the news was only delivered only after that 5-minute lecture on how nothing is really certain at all?  I feel like I've been denied the opportunity to feel any sense of victory.

Or is this how it feels for everyone?