Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?

I agree with hrf  and your councelor. I think that is what I'm trying to do. I went way too quickly after my divorce and jumped into a bad relationship. I can see that now but couldn't at the time. And even once I did see it still took me an awful long time to finally quite, I guess things get "comfortable" even when they are bad.

Dragonfly- you are very young - I'm sorry. I know of a young man friend who got colon cancer at 25 and talking to him sometimes I wonder how different he would be had he not gotten cancer so young. He also is not looking to date - He keeps himself very guarded. 

Hi Ladies

Since I got the voicemail from M(Prince Charming) last Friday night, I haven't heard from him. Unfortunately I deleted the voicemail but I think he said he would call me later. I never heard from him

I decided to see if he was okay and planned to send him a message on the dating site. When I went on the site, I could see he was on there; so I just logged out.  Guess he is okay!!!

Well, got a response from my initiated message. It went something to the effect of "although I don't think we're a match, I wish you well". Sheeesh! And the site said we were an 83% match! Maybe I need to do up a new profile or foget it all together.

My advice, ladies, is don't take this stuff so seriously. It's online - it doesn't mean anything. And the 83% ... that's only what a computer says based on who knows what ..... I forget which one of you got 160 responses to an online ad and immediately discarded 156 of them .... if someone responds, fine....if not, fine also. It doesn't reflect on you at all. And it doesn't reflect on the guy either.....certainly not at this stage. 

dogsandjogs, you've been on your own even longer than me - by about 5 years. If Mr. Wonderful wanted me to cook, clean and do laundry for him, he wouldn't stay Mr. Wonderful for long....LOL. I certainly would probably enjoy making a couple of nice meals a week but that's about it. He would have to be very independent and not expect me to accompany him to all of his stuff - the same as I wouldn't need him... but it would be nice to come home and share stories. And sometimes go out together. So much of my life was spent taking care of my kids. But as soon as they were old enough - probably mid to late teens - they did their own laundry and learned to cook for themselves. And the silver lining is that they are great husbands. My DILs are very appreciative. 

Thank you so much for this post.  I had pretty well decided there was no hope for me.  A year ago came up with BC...had surgery, then chemo, then rad and now on arimedex.  My husband died the day after my last chemo treatment, and so I've been feeling as if I'll just go it alone for whatever time I have.  Reading your post is giving me a spark of hope that maybe it's not over for me yet

Good evening ladies...........

Mybee sometimes it is just a chance encounter............love can happen in the most unlikely of places.......

Ok ladies I am going to try and post a link that I hope you guys may find humorous.........

This is a warning.......it is racy.........and if anyone here is easily offended please don't watch.....

but I thought you younger girls may enjoy and you older girls with a bit of a warp sense of humor....

anyway this is done by some of the people that do the show on IFC Portlandia.........

**warning** Rated R for content........

It is called "An Honest First Date"

 http://viralfootage.com/?p=22647

of course if that address is not hot just copy and paste in your own search engine.......or you can youtube it......it is just called "An Honest First Date"........

favorite line:......I have a really nice apartment....I have a chaise lounge.........

ok ladies........everyone have a nice weekend........

shokk

Wow, Hadley - glad you instinct kicked in and more importantly you listened to yourself. He sounds very full of himself and definately a controlling person.

I agree I think they are everywhere.... I do think we all just need to be very careful and listen closely to what they say. I remember with my ex BF - he was telling me about his ex wife and things she said about him and turns out she was so right ,but I didn't listen as he turned it around like it was her crazy impressions. So if I ever go out with a man I'm going to find out what his ex's complained about. 

Clw - so sorry for your loss. My husband died too of lymphoma just over a year ago while I was in the middle of taxol treatments. Maybe I have to learn how to live alone first but I sure miss someone to come home to.

Hadley that guy sounded like a total control freak - like, "my way or the highway"! I've done the same - not giving out my # and then getting crap about it. There's too many weirdos out there that could easily locate you with just a #. Loved reading about the e-mails,though!

Mybee - think I'll close my accounts too at pof and okcupid. Perhaps try again at some later time. It just seems too hard and unnatural to try and find someone over the net. Silly me, I just thought everyone was going to be like me, wanting a loving relationship!

Dogsandjogs - I'm with you. They'd better like my dogs all over in your face! lol

I guess there's some comfort knowing we're not alone with bc and lack of men.

Yes, that's what it sounds like: friends with benefits.   But at least he was honest about not wanting marriage.

I think women date men like that because they think they will be the one to change his mind..

This guy mentioned that he could change his mind if he falls deeply in love with me.

This sounds like a line to me. Am I being too distrustful?

Actually tonight I am missing M singing me some Hebrew songs. M was such a hunk

I can't answer your question. If I was on a first date, and was asked if I wanted to ever get married again, my answer would be only if I fall deeply in love. I'm not sure what other answer there could be.



I'm sure someone else will offer an opinion.

Thanks Hrf and Dragon for your posts.

What is making me not trust a "change of mind" is he brought the topic up within a few minutes of talking with me. The more I think about it, the more my guts tell me he is looking for sex. He told me that he "is highly sexed"  I thought omg, not another one lol  Sex is way low on the priority list for me.

M, on the other hand, brought it up fast that he was looking for a spouse.  He just lives so far away!  How can you really get to know someone when they live 4 hours away one way.

Well ladies have a wonderful day.  It is a lovely, sunny morning here

Lovemy family  I am so happy for you thay you had a date with someone else. I wish you were near me, I would give you a sisterly hug.  The mixed up feelings will pass in time. The feelings will probably disappear really fast if it works out with someone else

The other guy I met yesterday appears to have more money than M, but I will not be used for sex without a commitment. Honestly even if he wanted a commitment, I could not keep up with him. He said he "likes it every day" !!!!!.  I dont care if I ever had sex with him! And not every day with anyone lol  He is 69 years old, he denies he is taking any meds for being a sex maniac. I thought by the time they got this old, they might want it every six months or less lol 

Lovemyfamily Have a wonderful and blessed day. Things will settle down

Isn't it odd you never hear women make a statement like that do you?  So the ball is in your court, he's saying --- 

I don't like the sound of this guy - but that's just me!