Too shy to ask or what ??

I am sure that someone with more knowledge will chime in here, but what that doctor said just does not seem right to me. I am not sure how old you are, but Chemo slammed me into menopause at age 45. I took tamox for about 8 months before the side effects got the best of me. Then more than a year after chemo my periods came back again. They actually came back as if I was a teenager again, despite the fact that they were naturally slowing down prior to my diagnosis. I can't remember how long exactly this lasted before they started slowing down again, I think about a year, then it seemed like I was going into menopause again. No period for about three months. Then much to my disappointment my periods returned again just like clock work and now I find myself 50 years old having regular periods. Very frustrating and I want to scream at whoever the menstruation goddess is to have mercy on me, after all I am 50 years old and have no intention of having any more children, just seems like a cruel joke to me  Anyway from what I understand from my doctor and oncologist is that you have to stop having periods for a full year and then they can test your hormone levels to see if you are in menopause. I am sure they could test your levels before a year is up if you are not menstruating anymore, but if you are having periods than it seems like you  already have your answer. I guess my point is that not having a period for two months is not an accurate answer to whether or not you are in menopause or not. I think that doctor simply does not know what he is talking about. I admit that I have a lot of mixed feelings myself about tamox, but I do wish I could have stayed on it for the full five years, especially since everytime I feel my breasts react to the hormones during the time of my periods, I can't help but be paranoid and think that I am fueling cancer cells all over my body. I really don't see a problem with you sharing with your second doctor what the first one said, however considering how your second doctor already feels about the first one I would be prepared to expect he might be miffed that you would even consider anything the first doctor said, much less second guess his recomendations. Still you should never be shy about asking questions or advocating for yourself, which in my experience is a lot easier said than done when it comes to taking my own advice

Diagnosis: 7/3/2007, IDC, Stage IIIa, 4/16 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

Taking you off tamox and waiting to see if your period returns sounds like a very antiquated way of seeing if you are in menopause. And puts you at risk of allowing any circulating bc cells to grab the estrogen they need to grow. That onc sounds like he studied pre-1980 oncology.

As Sherri says, there are tests that can be done to see where your hormone levels are. They can be done while you remain on the Tamoxifen, so I see no reason to take you off of it.

I think onc#1 has hit another strike-out. I wouldn't go back to him again, and I wouldn't even bring it up with your trusted onc.

[edited to add]
Do you want to go on an AI rather than the Tamoxifen for some reason? They both do a great job but in different ways. I wouldn't be surprised if an AI is recommended after the five years of Tamoxifen. I've heard this is the up and coming protocol for strongly ER+ bc patients.