Just when I thought it was safe..

Options
Mzmerz
Mzmerz Member Posts: 1,054
edited June 2014 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

I don't even know where to start.  Let's see.  I was 40 when I found my lump.  No family history of BC.  Took me totally by surprise.  I had the lump removed almost 2 mos after the discovery (With 14 nodes) and started chemo right after that.  I worked thru my first 3 chemos but it just made me too sick to work after that.  It was Cytox and Tax - sorry, I don't know all the lingo yet. Oh and every week I had to have a potassium infusion cuz the first week, I passed out in the bathroom at work, my Potassium was at 2.6 Yikes.   I did the 6 weeks of radiation (does the brown ever go away?) Then my ovaries started on overdrive and I got a total hysterectomy.  Ok, didn't need that anyway, and that took care of the "cancer from tamox" worry.  Then my gall bladder went south.  Super, more surgery.  So no more gall bladder.  I get to feeling better, my life is going back to the way it was, 3 years later.  We decide, cool, it's time to adopt again (like I need more kids, I only have 5) and I have a routine PET. WHAMMO  Two hot spots.  Even my Onc was shocked.  Thyroid ultrasound comes back ok. Yay.  Last week I had a bone marrow biopsy in my hip.  I am waiting for the results. I am not patient.  I have fibro anyway, and the stress is making me flare!  And then there is some woman, in my head, screaming OH EM GEE We can't do this again, and I realize, it's me, screaming in my head 24/7.  Is this normal??  And I am also kinda pissed!  I did all they told me to do, took my tamox, and it still didn't matter!!  The thing is, my hip doesn't hurt.  Is this good? Am I in denial?  Should I plan my funeral?  I'm just lost!! Help!

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited March 2012

    You are normal by my book! When do you get the results? It is awful waiting. I think sometims there are false positives with pet scans, so hoping it is something completely benign.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • raffomimi
    raffomimi Member Posts: 96
    edited March 2012

    MzMerz,

    I am sorry you are going through this. I do hope the biopsy results are benign. Prayers enroute for you and hugs.

    Maria 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ma111
    ma111 Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2012

    First thing is to call the doctor and get some anti anxiety medication like ativan or something. I don't know why they don't prescribe it in your situation.

    It is normal to be screaming in your head, who wants this diagnosis. Don't plan your funeral just yet though. Bone mets can be slow growing and you may have years yet to live. The good thing is that you are ER+ and there are a few medications to treat it that are not chemo. The Tamoxifen that you took for 5 years kept it at bay for that time.

    I'm glad your hip doen't hurt, but it doesn't mean that it is not cancer.

    Sorry you have to go through this, but glad you found your way here. There are a lot of good people on these boards that can walk you through this horrid disease.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • holdontohope
    holdontohope Member Posts: 295
    edited March 2012

    Sorry you are facing this. Agree with ma111, ER+ has many options for treatment.  When I was diagnosed with Stage IV, I was told that it is not curable, but it is treatable.   You will find lots of support on these boards, so please keep asking your questions.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories