Pregnancy after Stage IV diagnosis

Good luck to you!! I know it must be a rough road you are traveling, but I'm stage iv and my 3 little ones are my life. As much as it hurts me to think they may have to live without me, I couldn't imagine doing this journey without the love and happiness they bring me. I don't personally know anyone that got pregnant stage iv, but I do know of some that found out they had cancer or stage iv during pregnancy. Make sure you look into an OB that has dealth with this. I would guess it's good that you are ER/PR -.

My daughter was Stage 111 when diagnosed and was also pregnant, The Drs. wanted her to terminate at the time, because then they could throw everything at her in the way of treatment. She chose to go through with the pregnancy and gave birth to a little boy, she had chemo during the pregnancy , leaving out the harsher chemo until after she gave birth. She had the same thoughts was it fair to have a child who may lose their mother at an early age, as she has an aggressive form, but they wanted another child and they are happy with their decision, you cant put your life on hold, in case of the what ifs. a child could lose their parent because of an auto accident, things in life are not guaranteed. If you can have some joy in your life, live your life to your ability, go for it.  I wish you all the best.

There was a woman who stayed on herceptin while pregnant.  I will look for her blog to see if I can find it for you.  Congratulations!

Congratulations, Jeljk!  Even this agnostic would agree with your oncologist about it being a gift from God.  

My cousin also quickly became pregnant when her husband was diagnosed with an (unquestionably) terminal form of cancer...about 25 yrs ago.  He died prior to her birth.

She grew up to be a beautiful, strong, brilliant, and incredibly successful young woman for one so young who, obviously, is so thankful for her parent's decision.  As are we all.

And...you may live to see your grandchildren.  It simply can't be known, for anyone, but it absolutely does happen and will continue to happen in greater and greater numbers.

But regardless your child will have a warm and loving environment and that, that is truly the only thing a child really needs.  

Hi there,

Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy!

I was 14 weeks pregnant when I was diagnosed with bc and liver mets. I wanted herceptin but no doctor would give it to me so early into my pregnancy.I started AC chemotherapy at 17 weeks. I had 3 rounds of it and then I had a scan which showed progression. The doctor had no choice but to put me on taxotere and herceptin, even though it is not approved for use in pregnancy. After my first infusion of herceptin the level of amniotic fluid around the baby dropped significantly. I had to spend a week in hospital being monitored. I was having weekly doses of herceptin at the time and I agreed to stop herceptin for 2 weeks to see if the level of fluid would come back up. It didn't. I managed to hold on untill I was 31 weeks and then I had my baby girl by c section. She weighed 1.45 kg.

To be honest at the time I just got on with it and didn't think too much about what was happening. I just took each day as it came and didn't over analyse to situation I was in.

Looking back I can't believe what I went through. Every day I wonder if I should have waited untill the baby was born before starting herceptin. Should I have tried to hold off a couple of more weeks before having her? The guilt is something else.

All that said she is now 6 months old and yes she does have some problems but they are related to being born premature rather than the treatment. She is a little angel though. She is smiling and laughing and everyone who meets her just falls in love with her.

Sorry for the long rambling reply! Please pm me f I can answer any more questions for u!

What exciting news, timing is a bit off but still exciting!  I hope everything goes well and know there are alot of people who get pregnant and are on chemo that who have had healthy happy children!

Jejik, congratulations on remission and your pregnancy. It's never a mistake to bring a new life into this world. You may be in remission for a very long time. Sounds like the baby will be well loved and cared for in the event you are called home to heaven. Get the guilt out of your head. Stressing out over it is not helping you or your baby. Don't go by "what if's", focus on "what is." Look after yourself. Praying for a great outcome for you and your baby. Blessings xoxox

Jejik,

Congratulations!!  I am so happy for your pregnancy (so sorry you have to deal with cancer, especially being so young, but hope you will get loads of information and support here on the boards).  I pray you will have many years of joy and happiness with your baby.  I get the feeling you will be a wonderful, amazing mom. 

Be sure to check YoungSurvivalCoalition at youngsurvival.org).  They have a lot of information specific to the needs of younger survivors.

Welcome to the boards and best of luck on your pregnancy,

NancyH 

Congrats!!!

You know, you might be around for a long long time.! A true gift from God.

One of the most inspiring books I have ever read is by Darcy Wakefield.

It is called "I remember running, the year I got everything I wanted and ALS."

She is a writer who was pregnant with Lou Gherig's. It is such a sweet book. 

I am so happy for you. I hope you stay in remission for many years. Until they give us the magic "all better pill". 

I hope it all goes smoothly for you and the babe.

Congrats!!!!!! 

Congratulations on your pregnancy. It is a gift from God and a miracle. Wishing you a safe, healthy pregnancy and delivery. Trust in your oncologist and your Ob/Gyn, they will provide you with excellent care, knowledge and keep you and your baby safe as possible. Hugs Dawn

 china wrote:
CoolBreeze, I think you need to apologize for your first comments. They were not very nice and you should not be judging her. It is her lifestyle and choices. We are here to offer support. Dawn

What do I need to apologize for?

She said she gave up the idea of having a child, is a wreck at the idea of being pregnant and is feeling helpless over the situation, along with feelings of guilt that her child will grow up without a mom.  She sounded desperate in her first note.

I shared my very personal experience of agony over what this is doing to my own child and gave her the suggestion of thinking about adoption, as an offering.

Since when did adoption become a bad thing?  When is it judgmental?   Many women have given up children over not having money, not having a husband - feeling helpless in their lives.   That is a loving thing to do.  They are heroes. 

She wasn't upset at my note, just didn't feel my idea was for her and so then I congratulated her and told her she would be a great mom, which I'm sure she will be.  How is that judgmental?

 I am not judging her - YOU are judging me, it's so hypocritical.

I use the plural because NancyH also seemed fit to chastise me in a nice long flame-fest and I'm sure she's not alone. 

Support takes on many forms, and not everybody sees things the same way. That's why an internet board can be so useful. 

Honestly, I have about had it with the women on this board.  You want to accuse me of being judgmental when that is what you are being yourselves. Some of you are the most close-minded women I've ever met, or you are stuck in middle school and anybody who doesn't wear the right clothes you feel the need to chastise.   Anybody not in lockstep with a certain idea of support, way of writing,  or a particular method of saying things is always treated badly or called out.  

Last time I said something a little different (but with a kind heart), I was told I didn't belong on this board because the surgery I had removed my cancer.  (Apparently temporarily)  Several people kept asking me to come back so I did, but I think that was a mistake.

I owe no apologies because I meant no harm, I called no names, I wasn't judging her and I don't think badly of her no matter what she does.  I feel like we are all in this together.

Or, at least some of us are.

Jejik,

Congratulations and remind yourself every baby is a blessing.   No matter the circumstances of their birth , their health whatever.  Breathe and hold on to the hoepfull expectaions as often as possible

Gentle evening

Nel