Calling all TNs

Heidi, I'm so glad to hear from LauraJane's daughter Sarah. I had hoped she died at home, and to die surrounded by family and friends, on her birthday, seems consistent with her joy and love of life.

Stunned! Oh so sad.

 Ladies, particularly our new members, remember that MBJ had ILC, lobular cancer, not IDC as most of us have. Perhaps the speed of her decline has something to do with that. We know that Suze and LauraJane were Stage 4 for a much longer period of time than Mary.

This is a time of mourning for us. 

Mity and Linda, I have been very down this week over the heart breaking news of these three wonderful ladies.  Wondering if I should visit this site anymore.  Thank you for your positive message this morning, it is what I needed.  

Cyndi 

Look around ladies... Spring is here.  Trees are budding.  Babies are being born.  Life is coming back to the earth.  Birds are chirping.  We gotta remember these things and concentrate on them or we will spiral down the road of depression.  These women we lost would NOT want us to slip down that path.  They would want us to get outside and enjoy the day.  So do it!

When I was telling my husband about our three horrible losses last night, I told him that I thought I might take a break from this website.  Right or wrong, this kind of news naturally makes us all question our own mortality.  You know what he said?  He told me that I should take a short break if that was what I wanted to do, but then I needed to come back on so that others who are being diagnosed daily can hear from those of us that have finished active treatment.  He said that those ladies were the ones that always made me feel better, so it was my duty to pay it forward in their honor.  I really didn't realize how much he really "get's it" until he said that! 

Hugs to all,

Kathy

Minxie- So sorry on the loss of your friend.

Monisch- Yay on no mets!

Inmate- So glad it is just rads for you.

I am so angry and sad right now. All I can say is WHY?? Why do we have to lose our friends? Why do we have to live in fear? Why isn't there a cure yet? 3 times this week my son has caught me at the computer with tears running down my face- why do I have to explain to him why?

My best friend and I are taking the kids to the movies today- maybe a little movie magic escape is what I need.

Thinking of our 3 angels in particular today and everyday.

We don't "HAVE" to live in fear. We can make a choice every day NOT to, and some days will be harder than others. I am a firm believer in taking a break from the boards. But, as Kathy's husband pointed out above, it is SO vital that those of us who are doing well post from time to time to help others know that NO, this is NOT a death sentence. YES, we are all individuals with no expiration date. And YES, there is LIFE after cancer treatment.

"Some day" there will come a time in my life where I will be transformed. I will have to leave those I love behind. But I make a choice every day to wake up, and enjoy the day I have been given. Each day is a gift. None of us are ever promised the next day, but we have to choose not to dwell on death or the possibility that something bad is going to happen. Laurajane lived this truth. All three of our friends lived and enjoyed their days, posting to uplift us and help those they could.

If anyone missed the post from BernieEllen, go back to page 429, toward the bottom and read the quote she posted.  It is absolutely true and is something to think about as we remember our friends. 

karen....congrats!  one year is great!

minxie....i'm so sorry you have another loss so close to home.

berniellen....very beautiful poem.

monisch.....yeah for arthritis.  oh the things that make us happy, like just old age. 

i don't have a best thing yet, but i sure as heck am going to make a few today!  

have a wonderful day ladies......love to you all! 

I read the posts everyday and but rarely comment. The loss of these 3 women is horrible. Not just for their friends and family but for all other cancer victims....I now question my mortality as I am just one year out. I have a question for all of you. Would anyone be interested in taking a small  "survey" as to their life style pre cancer, say 5 years before dx? Finding a cause (especially for TNBC) more important than the toxic chemo,  and burning radiation to supposedly cure it.. If interested, please respond and I will put a small survey together that can be copied and pasted. Some questions will include life style choices such as Smoker, Drinker, Diet, Exerciseand  Stress  5 years BEFORE DX. My BS said my tumor, which literally appeared overnight, had probably been growing for 5 years. I was a drinker and smoker, but had low stress levels and good diet and exercise. Looking forward to hearing if anyone is interested. We need to stop this horrible disease that ruins not just the victim's life, but also their families and friends lives.

atteamnana.....the wonderful thing about this board is you can say what you feel without worrying that you may offend someone.  we are all scared and at times frozen by that fear.  by posing on this board i find it allows me to shake the fear and anxiety.  i take great comfort in knowing that these ladies "get" what i'm saying.  i am able to live because of the love and support i receive by being an active part of this group.  i encourage you to read and post here.  this is a wonderful refuge from the storm of cancer.

scares the shit out of me.... I have been having shoulder issues and pain in my implant too.  I can't stop crying and then I feel guilty and selfish that I am worried about *me* and not just thankful for being alive.

Wrenwood my darling.  I will reply on the blog but for me - no history of cancer ever in my family.  High blood pressure, strokes and heart attacks are the norm for us.

I truly believe ( i am not paranoid) it is the toxic environment and stress that is killing us all.  They go on about the hole in the ozone layer - please question - sending rockets and satellites into space, does that not puncture the ozone?

I do not want to get onto my high horse but we are from all walks of life. There is only one common denominator - we are triple negative with no known reason.

1)   Age of DX - 36 then 44

2)   How was tumor discovered? 1rst one Self exam  - 2nd- Mammogram -

3)   Alcohol Consumption per week and type of alcohol-maybe a drink 3 times a year-

4) Smoking Consumption per day and type of tobacco i.e. cigs, marijuana, chew-none

5)   Child Bearing and at what age - none

6)   Did you nurse your baby N/A

7)   Stress levels either from family or work - High, Moderate, Low or combination at different times- High-

8)   Exercise- Hours per day and type - Cardio, low impact, Yoga, Other-walking-jogging, sometimes very consistent, with times of no consistency.

9)   Any other cancers dx'd before BC-skin melanomas or precancerous lesions-none

10)   Rx drugs taken and what kind and for how long? I did take birth control pills for over 15 years started when I was 17? Due to irregular periods-almost bled to death once! They could find no reasons why my periods were so bad. Sorry-tmi!

11)   Diet - Normal, Healthy (Organic), Vegan or Fast Food - Mostly vegetarian and lots of organic included, but I eat too much sugar:(  I am overweight, but usually very active. I have been overweight since my early 30's before that I was thin.

Thanks bak, should have thought of that. There seem to be so many things that we need to be aware of...most of all recurrence. I would love to go back to smoking and drinking but so afraid  that is what caused my BC. But then again, a friend who was also dx'd w/ TN Never drank or smoked. I know cancer is cancer but it has grown in such epidemic proportions that it is terrifying. Especially for younger women. What a tragedy and to think it could be prevented if it is our water, food, ozone blah, blah, blah  it makes me sick.

1) Age of DX - 43
2) How was tumor discovered? Yearly Mammo
3) Alcohol Consumption per week and type of alcohol - Wine, maybe 1/2 glass, once a year
4) Smoking Consumption per day and type of tobacco i.e. cigs, marijuana, chew - None
5) Child Bearing and at what age - 21 C section, toxemia, 23 Vbac, almost toxemic, 40 C-sec
6) Did you nurse your baby Yes
7) Stress levels either from family or work - HIGH Very very high, I had a lot happen since 06-tons of grief, family disowned, moved 3 times, and a whole lot more
8) Exercise- Hours per day and type - High metabolism, walked, cleaned, always busy 14+hrs
9) Any other cancers dx'd before BC-skin melanomas or precancerous lesions - No
10) Rx drugs taken and what kind and for how long? Birth Control 4 yrs on and off
11) Diet - Normal, Healthy (Organic), Vegan or Fast Food  Home cooked, eat on go, lots chocolate-we're talking a bag of choc chips every week plus other, very little fast food

No real family hx of breast or ovarian. Half sister had breast cancer at age 41, chemo, doing well, never met her, we share a father.  Dad died when I was 4 (not from medical problems).  My paternal grandma had a huge cancer tumor (slow growing) on face 20+ yrs.  Maternal family lots of death from other types of cancer, but not ov, br, or prostate.  I am BRCA2+.  Half sister is negative. No clue where it came from. One daughter is positive, the other negative.

If there is a link to us all, I believe it is firstly the toxic environment.  Everything is treated with something... growth hormones, bug killers, cleaners, fumes from cars.  Secondly, stress is a killer and I firmly believe this is a key factor in many illnesses, not just cancer.