SO SAD - CAN NOT SHAKE THIS SADNESS

Options
bethen
bethen Member Posts: 82
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

In December I received the news that my cancer had returned yet again.  Originally I was diagnosed in Sept 2005 with IDC with node involvement.  Had chemo, radiation, mastectomy and one year or Herceptin.  Cancer returned to a lymph node in pectoral muscle in May 2010 had chemo yet again and more radiation and have been on Herceptin since then.  Again December 2011 cancer back again to another lymph node in pectoral muscle, this time chemo again, they will not do radiation and the Herceptin still continues.  I am having such a hard time with this diagnoses, I cannot stop crying for the last two months, cannot sleep, feeling of doom all the time but this sadness that I am feeling will not stop, I am crying all the time and feel so alone even though my family is constantly around me and supportive.  I don't know why I feel this way this time, during my other diagnoses I cried for a week or so and then I continued my life.  But now, I cannot get over this, my life is a box of kleenex and depression.  I am already taking Zoloft and have been for years, but I don't think it works anymore.  Why can't I get rid or this sadness.  

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited February 2012

    bethen
     
    We are sorry you are going through this, and you can count on understanding and support from the community.  The main breastcancer.org site has information on depression and how to help manage it. 
     
    We hope this helps.
     
    The Mods 
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Elizabeth1889
    Elizabeth1889 Member Posts: 1,036
    edited February 2012

    bethen, I am so sorry that you have to go through cancer for a third time.  That is more than anyone should have to endure.  I do not have any answers, but I know that all of us are here for you to wipe your tears and send you lots of hugs along the way.  You are in my prayers.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2012

    I have no good thing to say, bethen, other than this seems a pretty normal kind of reaction but it might help if you had some outside (doctor/professional) support to help out with this.  Maybe you already see someone, but you definitely shouldn't go through this alone.  Sending you hugs.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jodycat
    Jodycat Member Posts: 123
    edited February 2012

    Bethen, a series of knocks such as you've had can knock one into depression. Do think of looking hard at that possibility.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • november
    november Member Posts: 103
    edited February 2012

    Bethen-Hang in there. I take zoloft as well for depression. It is not a good feeling when you can't stop crying but you have to remember that you are dealing with a lot. Who wants to deal with cancer 3 times. One time is more than enough. It might be helpfull to talk to a mental health professional if you are not already doing that

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2012

    Bethen- I think anyone would be feeling the way you do.  Getting DX with BC really pulls the rug out from under you.  Being DX 3 times is like having the whole living room floor pulled out.  It's challenging enough the first time.  I think it's amazing you have done as well as you have and that says a lot about you.  As far as your Zoloft I have been on anti-depressants for years and what usually happens for me is they just stop working after several years and my doctor puts me on something else.  I would go to your BS or GP and explain that it doesn't seem to be working.  They may have you try something new.  But anti-depressants can't completely take away the pain.  They're more for when you're depressed but you don't know why.  You have a very valid reason to feel sad and depressed and would probably benefit from talk therapy, support group or something like that, too.  It really helps to just talk to others who understand completely what you are feeling. Don't be so hard on yourself, though.  You have a right to feel sad, mad, depressed, angry- everything you are feeling.  So sorry you are having to deal with all of this once again. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mamglam
    mamglam Member Posts: 178
    edited March 2012

    Betsy,

    I am sorry I didn't see your post earlier - I want to send you some cyber hugs!!  I hope that you are feeling better by now.  I am so sorry that you have to go through all this again.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • barbiecorn
    barbiecorn Member Posts: 437
    edited March 2012

    I too have been on Zoloft for many years and xanax when needed (I suffered from panic attacks) - the meds worked very well but since the BMX 2/1 - slowly I see that it is not working anymore...We are trying an increase but maybe I too may need to change meds...the depression since a couple of weeks ago is not good...and I want to get back to work to keep my mind occupied.  I think that when you are first diagnosed, you handle what you have to go through but then the emotional side takes over and that is when we are feeling the sadness...(((hugs))))

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • alilou7497
    alilou7497 Member Posts: 69
    edited March 2012

    How can you expect any less from yourself?  The crying, depression, anxiousness and what I love to call "pity parties" are all part of what we go through with this awful disease.  No matter how supportive your family and friends are......you are still going through this by yourself.  It is an alone disease.  No one but someone that is in your shoes will ever understand how you feel.  I can only tell you that my faith is what kept me going.  My faith in God and your faith in whatever you want to believe in will keep you strong within yourself.  We, everyone single fighter and survivor is behind you......we all understand when others don't and PITY PARTIES are allowed......

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • november
    november Member Posts: 103
    edited March 2012

    Barbiecorn-I am sorry that you are not feeling welI. You have been dealing with a lot. It might be helpfull to consider talk therapy as well as increasing the zoloft. Huggs from a February sister. We had surgery on the same day. I will be thinking about you. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • barbiecorn
    barbiecorn Member Posts: 437
    edited March 2012

    Hi November - wow same day surgery...Yes, I have been thinking about talk therapy...I think maybe it is time for that now!!! (((hugs)))

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories