Diep 2012

TexasRose - I am so very sorry that you are having such a awful time with all of this.  If you are taking Valium, ask you doc about it as mine took me off so it wouldn't trigger a depressive episode (wish my general surgeon had told me that after my MX as I cried like a baby forever!).  Also - when you are in pain and you are struggling with recuperation, it can make you very tearful.  Please talk with someone if it doesn't get better once you start to feel better. As I say, I have bad days and I have worse days.  Just looking forward to the great days!!!

dressager -  actually all of you out there!  4 words - FMLA.  Job is protected for 12 weeks no matter what.  The guilt and aggravation of not doing you job can be really bothersome but FMLA will "let it fly" without the fear of losing your livelihood!  

 Thanks to all for being here and for posting.  It really helps us all to know that we are not alone!

Texas, that sounds absolutely miserable... and painful! You are  sick, tired, and your reserves are low. Take some time to mope and whine---it's certainly understandable. But, from reading your posts, I expect you will snap back to your positive outlook tomorrow or Sunday. ((gentle hugs))

Jury duty! Sweep into the courthouse in a bright spring caftan and a giant turban... you'll terrify the attorneys and they'll send you home, lickety split!

Texasrose-I understand how you feel.  I had BMX with DIEP done 5 months ago now and schedule for stage 2 April 5th (I am terrified to do something else to my body when I'm just starting to feel better).

I'm still on Herceptin until August and feel like my journey will NEVER end.  Most days are good but my emotions are RAW.  One minute good, the next bad.  I'm always teary eyed.  I feel like I can't really talk to anyone about this because I am now doing better physically.  My DH was so supportive and now I feel like he doesn't care anymore (wants his old life back).  My kids just bounce on me like I never had surgery and my now 9 month old keeps slapping her hand on my chest when I give her the bottle.  Ugh. 

When I went to the doc yesterday and said I was tired, had trouble concentrating, and that my emotions were raw, she suggested antidepressants.  After I was strong for months, I don't want to.  I can't stand taking any more meds than absolutely necessary!!!

Ladies, I am depressed or is this normal?

Ah, thanks y'all! I knew you would understand in a way that nobody else can. I have actually had some family members say that any discomfort I am experiencing right now is "self inflicted". I didn't have to do recon after being healed for 3 years. I guess it is in a way, but that comment hurt. I just wanted to be normal again. I had a uni-MX, so it was really affecting my self esteem and confidence. I know I will be glad I did this someday (soon!!). I was just so tired of living the unaboober life.  

So, I took it easy today and am feeling a lot better. The nasty stomach bug is gone. I'm easing slowly back into food and drink. Still cold and rainy here so I bundled up on the couch and just watched TV. Boy, daytime TV is lacking. lol

I don't take Valium. The only Rx drug I take is for high blood pressure. I do have some Xanax for PRN but haven't needed them in a long, long time. Got them when I was first diagnosed. I am not normally a sad or depressed person. Not in any way. I seldom cry. That is why I am so puzzled by these mood swings. They aren't me. I'm off pain meds and muscle relaxers from the surgery, but I have considered that this could be a side effect of the anesthesia like c8ndygr1 said and just needs to get out of my system. I don't know. But I know I will be ok.

I also think maybe in some ways it's coming back here. I haven't been here in a long time and it makes me feel in some ways like a cancer patient again. I have to remind myself that this is hopefully the end of the journey for me. This is supposed to be the silver lining. The taking my life back. Because my DIEP was delayed, I was healed and living life again. I chose to go back and do this and I know it was the right decision even if it's hard right now.

The jury duty thing- I don't know. I am scheduled for 4/2 which technically will be over 6 weeks out from my surgery. Actually it will be 7 weeks so hopefully I will be feeling much better by then. I'm cracking up at the idea of the caftan and turbin though! My drains are all out and have been since day 8, so no  luck there and I don't work so not missing anything there either. I am hoping that I don't have to report. You call the day before to see if you have to go and I have a really high juror number so fingers crossed that I won't have to go.  

And I know how you feel, puce. We go through so much and to be depressed now. That's just wrong. I dont know if it's depression or just a normal reaction to our situations. I suspect it's just normal. This whole cancer thing takes a lot out of us.

(((hugs))) to all of us! Thanks again everybody. I really needed that.   

I am 11 weeks post op. I started back at work 3 weeks ago .I am on my feet the entire time . My back wasn't bothering me at all unti I ended my first week , now I can hardly bend and straighten without terrible pain. My back was fine until I went back to work. I am also having shooting pains across the flap area . I also have physical therapy twice a week for frozen shoulder post mastectomy. Has this happened to anyone else? My ps said not to do any abdominal excercises so i don't know what I can do to help my back. I also have therapeutic massage every other week. All these therapies help but it's just so frustrating. I think we are allowed to have our down times, perfectly normal. Then I read what everyone else has been through, going through and you give me strength. Thank you everyone, keep posting

ellena,  I felt spectacular after my 11 hour anaesthesia. Lots to be said for paralyzing every muscle in your body! All my knots were gone. I felt fantastic for weeks. I resumed working gradually, from bed, to stealthily going to the office with my door closed, to going to the office and doing some of the work, and eventually back to work WITH the approval of HR (prior to that I guess I was working for free because I was on sick leave). As I ramped up my work the knots have crept back. I do physio (now every 2 weeks. Started 2x / week then 1x) to stretch out beyond what I can do (and keep going beyond where I wimp out). I have massage when I feel I need it. Definitely a week before and soon after a very long run, but other times when I feel like it.

I was told the abs can be exercised once the first 6 weeks are past, so you might ask your PS if the restriction is lifted yet.  Building ab strength wards off those back pains. The physio was totally on that. "Is it 6 weeks yet???" And she is totally into active rehab, i.e., making me do homework. She also massages the scar.

The pains in the flap area that I have are sometimes nerve regeneration (or attempts). I recognize the feeling from my reduction 35 years ago. I get it once in a while now. That's twinge-like pain. Once I labelled it as that familiar thing, it doesn't really bother me. It's like ringing in my ears. That drives some people crazy, but I have never known any different.

I also have discomfort on one pectoral muscle under the flap when I shiver (not uncommon when it's -11C outside). It's odd that it occurs just on one side and I had bilateral DIEP, but one side was immediate and the other was delayed. My theory is the delayed flap was attached to the underlying tissue in a slightly different way, and when the muscle contracts to shiver, it pulls on the flap differently than the other side. It's not stabbing pain, just a weird feeling. 

Good luck with your recovery! 

Has anyone had surgery for reconstruction with Dr. Regina Baker in the LA/Pasadena, CA area? I'm scheduled for a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction in early April - haven't decided yet on what method of reconstruction and am frankly overwhelmed with information.

Rae, you summed it up perfectly! Thanks for putting it into words we all can relate to.

I was sore and very tight again yesterday after all the vomiting, so I took a pain pill and muscle relaxer last night. I've been off the meds for awhile, but I needed sleep and to hell with it- I just took the pills. Got a GREAT night of sleep!! Feeling so much better and even though it's pouring rain- I am feeling on cloud 9 this morning and getting back to normal. Amazing what a night of sleep will do for you. Now to get a little food in me. Besides the stomach virus, I have had very little appetite since the surgery. I know this is going to go away and I will miss it, but right now it's a struggle to eat much. And that doesn't help the healing and getting my strength back. I have lost 10 pounds since the surgery and while that's not a bad thing- this isn't the way to go about losing weight.

Hugs to all!

TexasRose: Glad you are feeling better! This great weather we are having sure doesn't do much for ones mood. I finished my pain pills but still feel like I could use a refill. Sleeping is not as long or restful without them. I have to laugh before all this mess I wouldn't even take an aspirin but about once a year. First chemo I decided they weren't putting me on all that medication. After the first night that I hung over the toilet and thought I was going to die I was yelling bring on the drugs and haven't looked back:) I just get through one thing and start getting the stuff out of my system and I am back having to dump something else in it. Ah well soon I hope organic veggies will soon be the only thing I put in for healing.

I have to go back and look at my paperwork but I think it said a month no driving. I don't know if I can last a month. What instructions did everyone else get on the driving?

I hear ya on the drugs, Rae. I never took anything either in my pre-cancer life. I went round and round with my BS about the Xanax. I don't take pills like that. She just finally told me to take the damned drugs. I did and well life was somewhat bearable again. I don't take them anymore, but they sure got me through chemo.

I wasn't given any specific instructions on driving. Just not to as long as I was taking the pain meds.

TexasRosa - it helped me to eat smaller meals and more of them.  I found I got full very fast, so could only eat a small amount.  That has passed, unfortunately.

Rae, I agree, as long as I was off the pain meds, then I was allowed to drive. You should check to make sure you can look back over both your shoulders too though.

Meegan-sorry to hear it's not going to last. I am only able to eat small amounts. Normally I am a pretty good eater.



I should add that I have not driven yet and it's been almost 4 weeks. I just haven't felt ready yet. Probably this week as I really need a haircut. I'm not sure about leaning back into a shampoo bowl though. My stylist told me to shower and wash it at home if it would help and go up there while it's wet.



How long did you wait to bathe? I took a bath last night. Didn't fill up the tub. My scars were not Submerged. I'd love to take a nice long soak. PS said no baths until scars are healed but not sure how long that is.

I had my nipples tattooed today and they look great.  If anyone in the So. Cal area needs their tattoos done...please contact me.

@Evelyn - I had my tattoos done on Weds. So far, so good. In 6 weeks, after all is healed, I go back for a 'tweaking' session for any adjustments. Piece of cake - didn't feel any pain. Took 2 hours. How about you?

Hi again,

I have couple of questions. My recon won't be till fall. so I'm trying not to look too far ahead.

anyways.

If I decide to get rid of the left boob (had rt mast) can they do that during the diep sx? I wouldn't have to have another TE?

and since I have TE-do they put the belly fat over the muscle or under it. Rads starts end of month. 

and how do they check for BC after the diep? no  more mammo's? do they do US? couldn't it come back to chest wall under the fat?

thanks