January 2012 chemo

Nancy    Was wondering what happened to you.  Sorry for those SE's.  I crave foods all the time now. I didn't even crave this much when I was pregnant.  Since this last tx nothing tastes good at all.  I have an awful taste in my mouth all the time.  Before this treatment I craved sweet things like apple sauce, grapes, and melon.  Yesterday I was craving ham - so who knows  what that means.

AEM47  -  My WBC has stayed within normal levels throughout so far.  I didn't get the numbers, I was just happy when the nurse told me the blood work was fine and no shot. I looked online and it  says 4,500-10,000 white blood cells per microliter is the norm.  I would question the shot if your WBC is normal.  From these boards it seems like everyone is getting the shot no matter what their blood counts are.  I personally do not want to take anything more than I need to.

 Gayle

Annie:  I'm sending you much love and light as you move forward in your treatment.  It's hard to believe doctors sometimes when they're "neutral" and what we need to hear is positivity.  I know you're hearing, "It's not working!!" but my first thought was, "It already got smaller, it's not getting any bigger, this must be a good sign!"  I know that doesn't help, really, I just wish it did.

The next four treatments will feel so long, waiting to get through them to know the final outcome.  Keep breathing, and keep talking to us.  You are saying outloud what we all fear - that this won't work, that all that we're going through will be for naught, that nothing will change, that it won't go away (I can't even say the C word anymore, I'm so sick of it).  It's okay (and normal!) to have bad days, to feel less-than-positive, to panic and worry - my god, we're doing everything we can to beat this beast and no one will give us any guarantees!  It totally sucks and it's wrong and completely unfair.

And I'll drive to Chicago and hug you, if it'll help - just say the word!!  

LOL Nancy - I have been craving hamburgers!  I have never been a burger eater but I want a cheeseburger every day for lunch!

Thanks, Nancy. You (and probably everyone else here) understand in a way non-BCers can't. I feel better today (up at 4 am and definitely steroid-buzzed). It's good to remember that the bad spells are temporary. Sometimes you just pray for midnight.

I think I'll get a filet o fish today.

 Annie 

I had Taxol/Herceptin #1 of 12 yesterday. I got my steroids, anti-nausea, and benadryl IV then hooked me up to the BP & HR monitors. Started regular saline fluids and the Taxol, or so I thought. I got a burning in the back of my throat and then my chest started to feel tight and I couldn't breathe very well. Told my lovely oncology nurse as she instructed me to do if anything felt funny. She then tells me, "well honey I haven't even started the taxol yet, just your saline". Yup, I was having my first panic attack. Felt pretty dumb. After having such a horrific time with A/C, I completely worked myself into a tizzy.

Nurse ran the drip slow and everything was fine. Herceptin went off without a hitch as well.  I did ice my fingers and toes (I looked pretty silly with frozen peas on my extremities but oh well). So we'll see how this goes. I feel completely normal today. No lethargy, nausea, no GI problems. So I am cautiously, and I mean cautiously, optimistic about SE's. Hope this helps anyone starting tomorrow or next week.

Sleepless-I had taxol/herceptin #1 of 4 on Tuesday. The infusion was long but no big deal. Yesterday I felt great! Today, the body aches have already started. This may sound weird but, I feel fine but I hurt all over. Just my body aches, not my stomach and not so much fatigue. Good luck to you tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

Angie

Sounds like several of us are dealing with hand/foot syndrome, so I'm not buying the "rare" SE crap.  This fourth AC treatment was by far the hardest, SE-wise, but my spirits are lifted knowing I won't be going back for that Red Devil next week!

Thanks, too, for sharing your stories about Taxol.  Momof2inME, I expect the same thing will happen to me; I'm already worked up about the potential for reaction and am terrified - and I still have a week to go (and worry about it).  You all are making this so much easier, really - I just have to get over *myself* now.  :-)

Thanks, Janet.  I think it's that "fear of the unknown" that's the hardest with our first treatments.  And my biggest fear in the world is suffocation/drowning, so the thought of not being able to breathe sends me into a tizzy!  But I also realize that's not a given, just a possibility, so I am working on relaxing and not worrying about it until/unless it happens.

Funny how much personal growth I am experiencing through all of this treatment...

Jenn I'm following you like a hawk.  I'm supposed to start TX/Her next Thursday.  I have been on two very strong antibiotics since my 'crash' last week and I can't seem to get my strength back.  I can fall sound asleep anytime and still sleep all night. Since side effects for both antibiotics say fatigue I'm hoping that is all it is.

  Two of my daughters are coming to visit in 2 weeks and I really want to be able to do stuff with them.

PEggy 

#2 Taxol yesterday and so far so good. The nurse saw in my chart that I had restless leg syndrome and she switched the Benedryl drip out with a different drug and I can not remember the name of the drug~sorry~I asked and they told me twice and I still can't bring up the name...but I had NO issues with this one. Still ate 2 PB&J sandwiches and Potato chips like last time. Gave my husband the day off and brought my Cancer Buddy survivor with me, she got to see someone sitting in the Chemo chair for the first time and be the Care Giver. Must have felt a little weird, but I was so Mello after we were done to remember to ask, her. She had made me a huge Pork Chop dinner with Groton Potatoes for tonight and this weekend. I stayed home and rested all weekend on the 1st Taxol with Flu LIKE symptoms, hopefully they won't be so bad this time....and the Hot flashes...they suck the worst, during the day and all night. Does anyone else's temperature go from 97.3 to 99.6 along with the flashes?? Rarely stops at 98.6..up down, up down. I now have piles of hats by the bed, so I can fling them across the room all night...my dog likes that she cleans them all up and then I retrieve them in the morning. I can now only sleep by taking an Atavan...but I can sleep, it must do some regulating of the my core temperature, just before I pass out...I notice I am NOT flashing anymore...no drug no sleep, I have been so good with the drugs, especially after reading a comment on one of the boards here "Take whatever you need to get thru this, and then we'll Detox together later'' I want to go on with my life not spend time in a Detox and rehab after this!! So I have kept the drugs at a minimal....Stopped the Lyica the moment the lightening bolts stopped running down my arms as well. I hate drugs like a lot of you do, I still has a lot left over from the surgery.

Sorry for the ramble.....I am going to see the boys this morning, get out before "and if" the flu like bug hits. Yes, Taxol is way easier then the AC...I'm just getting fed up with "The constant "NO answer" responses to my questions.
Be good all, and prayesr to everyone for easy Tx today and no SE's!!

Nancy, Annie,Jane,Lumpy,Dianne,PCbarbie,

all of you are so inspiring. I am so tired of this cancer that I can't even write here. I get so emotional and start crying. Why so many of us?

Hugs to you all and hope all of you feel better.

If didnt write names doesnt mean I dont think of you just so emotional

Bela 

Kelly - You made my day!!!  and I',m so sorry for you that you did....I hate being drug dependant, and I swear I'm sooo tired I don't need the Atavan...until my husband says "It's 4 in the morning, you sure you don't want a pill?  This week I have tried sleeping in my summer sleepwear and a thin blanket with extra blankets ready when the chills come, been working a little better.

have never wanted or desired any sympathy and know I find myself craving it some times...I HATE myself for that, and I can't stop the words that spill out of my mouth..other times I'm biting on my tongue or turning away from people so they can't see what's in my eyes...like they would see past my haggard, grey looking, puffy face to my washed out watery eyes!!! 

I saw a report on TV yesterday for women in menopause (I'm pre menopause, but the chemo has put me on hold for now for over a month) that have Hot flashes take Estrogen Pills...one of the things that my Cancer grows with!!  No relief coming from that avenue...UGH

Today - Grumpy Barb...

I'm somehow relieved when I read about the sleep problems others are having. Despite feeling tired all day I simply can't nap - I've never been able to and apparently chemotherapy isn't going to change that. I'm on steroids now after my last AC, so sleep is even more challenging. 

I can't remember reading or hearing whether at-home steroids are given for Taxol. Can anyone tell me? That would make Taxol so much better in itself.

Thanks - and a SE free Friday to everyone.

Annie 

Annie - I am on Taxotere which is the same family as Taxol.  I take 8mg dexamethasone the day before, 8mg the day of and 8mg the day after.  I also have 10 mg pre-infusion.  My worst side effect is I feel jittery and my mouth won't stop!  Poor DH!