I actually spent the weekend...

CherylinOhio
CherylinOhio Member Posts: 623
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I spent this weekend not thinking about bc. WOW!! I am usually consumed from am to pm. With my recent horse purchase I was running around buying him things and cleaning out his new stall.

I feel like I should not forgot, that the bc should always be in the front of my mind otherwise I will get complacent about diet and exercise. I have decided that I am going to LIVE!! BC will come to mind when there is something to worry about or when I have a dr appt.  As the years go by, and they will, I think all of us will be feeling better and put this bc crap behind us. I am off to the dentist...urg....

Have a great day everyone!!

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  • Blessings2011
    Blessings2011 Member Posts: 4,276
    edited March 2012

    ckgrayoh -

    FABULOUS!!!!

    My new motto is "vigilant, but not obsessed."

    Glad you had a great weekend....and may many, many more follow!!!

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  • Nel138281
    Nel138281 Member Posts: 2,124
    edited March 2012

    LOVE it.  I spent the weekend working at a very enjoyable work event.  And I fully intend to attend the same event next year,but with HAIR

    Nel

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  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited March 2012

    There is nothing like a new handsome guy in your life to put your focus where it belongs.

    Your horse is a very lucky guy.  I am sure he knows that all those presents make him extra special.

    BTW - I was much more worried about my dentist x-ray than about my mammogram this past quarter.  The great news is that I DIDN'T leave the dentist with a $1500 "treatment plan".  So major progress on that front too.

    I spent this past weekend working and cycling.  Too busy to get up skiing, but still need to.  If I didn't cycle, I'd be growing velcro in the spot that contacts my office chair.

    I can't wait to hear of all your adventures together.  Someone to explore with and who will get you out in the sunshine.  Plus brings you out of yourself.  I can't think of anything more wonderful.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2012

    Having a new horse, arranging the stall and  buying new tack and horsie supplies and toys is a real endorphin rush.  I so remember the feeling.  Awesome!  Enjoy your new love.  And kiss that soft nose every day.  I always used to do that with my mare, and she had the best smell in the world.  I had 2 other horses both geldings but her smell was just so intoxicating.  I loved her so much!.  Enjoy!  I can';t think of a better way to forget about BC!

    imageBarb

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  • sespebadger
    sespebadger Member Posts: 249
    edited March 2012

    Wonderful to hear your good news!

    Yes, it is great to forget about cancer for a few hours occasionally. I like Blessings idea: vigilant but not obsessed. I think the important thing is to think about how we are going to LIVE. I am much more deliberate in my choices now. I am putting taking care of me right at the top of the list. I am living healthily and I feel good about it. I do not want to live my life worrying about cancer. It doesn't do a bit of good. Making positive choices about how we live will probably do a lot of good.

    Wishing you many more great weekends!!

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited March 2012
    I LOVE it!  Keep it up, it's an inspiration to us all here!
    Sharon
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  • Layla2525
    Layla2525 Member Posts: 827
    edited March 2012

    ckgray,congrats on the new horsie...I just love animals, I spent a yr being a vegetarian then I met the guy I been with for yrs and my friends say I am a chicka tarian,cuz he eats a lot of chicken thinkiing its healthier cuz he is a heart patient but its actually got a lot of fat in it and hormones.  Congrats on getting back to normal..yep we need to strife for health whether one has had cancer or not.

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  • SharonMH
    SharonMH Member Posts: 353
    edited March 2012

    Hi, So happy that you had a normal weekend. I always wanted a horse. Wishing you many happy times with him. Does he have a name yet?  SharonH

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  • CherylinOhio
    CherylinOhio Member Posts: 623
    edited March 2012

    Hi all. Thanks for the replies. His name is Max but my sister's yearling's name is also Max so I am trying to think of a show name for him. he has blue eyes so trying to think of a name with blue in it.   I am sick of letting the bc take control! I have seen many people write: Don't worry until there is something to worry about". Well that's it, that's my new motto!  I am too busy now to think about that crap. I am now a non-smoker for good, I am keeping some weight off, joined a gym and feel pretty good.  I love hearing from everyone on this board!! I hope everyone has a wonderful day today! It is going to be sunny and in the 60's here in Ohio, YIPPEE!!!! I think our mild winter has ended, the birds are chirping in the morning and it is staying lighter out. Love it, spring it coming!!!

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  • Celtic_Spirit
    Celtic_Spirit Member Posts: 748
    edited March 2012

    I'm glad to hear that you're having some "normal" spells. They will become more and more frequent. Nurture them.

    I knew I was "normal" again when I caught myself making long-term plans for the future. It kinda snuck up on me. And it happened only a few months after active treatment ceased. You sound like you are well on the road to "normalcy." Congratulations!

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  • CherylinOhio
    CherylinOhio Member Posts: 623
    edited March 2012

    Thanks! I hope it lasts. I keep feeling like I have a dark cloud hanging over me, like my life will never be normal again. Guess that's how it is from now on. 

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  • orlandpark65
    orlandpark65 Member Posts: 106
    edited March 2012

    Today I had my 3 month check up with the Onc.  All good.   I asked him about what to eat  and not to eat.  He said don't believe all that you read.  Eat healthy 80% of the time and the other 20% enjoy.  Working out is important, as we all know.  It's okay to have anything in moderation including wine, cheesecake, burgers.  He said that everyone should live a healthy lifestyle not just bc patients.  Follow the American Heart guidelines.   He is a very well known, respected doctor in Chicago so I feel so much better.  Every time I ate something it stressed me out.  I would get mad at myself.  So I hope this helps anyone that doesn't always eat whole wheat pasta and beans LOL.   So BURGERS and BEER for dinner. (not really)   I'm going on vacation in 2 weeks with the family.  I will definitely enjoy my wine in Napa Valley. 

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  • CherylinOhio
    CherylinOhio Member Posts: 623
    edited March 2012

    Thanks Orlando!! I try to balance out my food. Since I stopped smoking I have not been drinking.

    Thanks for sharing!! Congrats on your checkup!

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  • orlandpark65
    orlandpark65 Member Posts: 106
    edited March 2012

    ckgrayoh:  That's great you stopped smoking.  That's a big step.  I guess I'll take baby steps or it does get overwhelming.   have fun with your new horse

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited March 2012

    Cheryl, yep, that's called "moving on with life." It's so good to be there.

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  • CherylinOhio
    CherylinOhio Member Posts: 623
    edited March 2012

    I hope it lasts. I was just sitting at my desk thinking "Man I am in a good mood today". But why should I be?  I am just happy to be feeling good now.  This may sound stupid BUT, I called a psychic a few weeks ago and asked her in around about way about my life and the length of it. She said I see you in 20 years. I said well how do you know, like what tells you its me? She said I can sense you here in 20 years, if I didn't feel you I would not say yes I see you. My sister also called one about 2 months ago and asked also in a round about way. She said I have someone in my life that has an illness and I want to know about that. The pyschic asked it if was someone close like a sibling, maybe a sister? She asked if I was fiesty,YES, she said  she is a fighter and I don't see her going anywhere for a long time.

    OK NOW- I know to some this may sound corny and hard to believe, some people don't believe in pyschics. I do believe that there are people who are more intuned than the rest of us. I am choosing to believe in this person's sensing that I will be here a long time. Since my sister told me about her call and since my call I actually have been more hopeful and it has helped me to have a better outlook. Whatever works to keep my spirits up, that is what I am believing. Laughing

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  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited March 2012

    I got a major boost of energy at the one year point too, Cheryl, so suspect you are feeling that.  Wonderful when it happens.  Of course, I did my regular cycling events all summer following radiation.  It took everything I had, but I did them!  Sometime in late fall, it suddenly got easier.

    I am thrilled that you are moving forward with living your life.  I read one post from a lady who was surprised to be here at the 10 year mark.  She is a Stage I.  So sad to have spent those years waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    I am so thrilled to be past all this other than 3 more years of anastrazole.  I am stronger and fitter than ever.  I have my looks and great energy.  I have all my wits.  I have NOTHING wrong with me at this point other than needing new contacts.  (And my ankle is still healing.)

    I am beyond thankful for this time, and I intend to make the most of it!

    Give Max a huge hug for me! - Claire

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  • SelenaWolf
    SelenaWolf Member Posts: 1,724
    edited March 2012

    You are a better, stronger woman than I.  I was just saying to my husband yesterday, that I cannot wait for the day when breast cancer is not the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing at night.  You've given me hope that this fear won't become an all-out obsession.

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  • CherylinOhio
    CherylinOhio Member Posts: 623
    edited March 2012

    hey Claire, will give him a big hug, he comes home tomorrow!! So excited!! of course it will be 35 degrees but oh well. He will be in his warm stall with his new blue blanket!!

    Selena, I was not like this until about a week or two ago. I just decided that I am too busy to worry about this crap.  I stopped smoking, I joined a gym, I started school and bought a new horse. I feel like I am doing what I can do, what I have control over and that's about it. I will worry when it is time to worry.  I still think about bc but I don't wake up in the middle of the night and think about it and get sick to my stomach. There are many new drugs coming out for us and many survivors.

    My recon surgery is on March 19, I will be whole again, my hair is coming back. Another month and the wig is going to the closet or to the cancer facility near me that has free wigs for people. I will probably donate them to that place for other people.

    I guess you just have to decide if you want to sit around and worry or live life and move on, worry when and IF you have something to worry about.  Easier said than done but it can be done. Get a new hobby or a new pet! Something to occupy your mind. You can do it!! Is that you in your profile pic? You hair is so cute!! 

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  • sespebadger
    sespebadger Member Posts: 249
    edited March 2012

    Like the saying goes, it does get better. I'm a little over 2 years out from DX. I remember the first year that I thought about cancer all the time. How could I not?? Now, I have to really think to remember when I was DX, when I had the surgeries, chemo, rads, etc. The memories do fade and life goes on. I am most happy to say that my brain is back....I had been worried about that. During treatment I was so tired and it was hard for my brain to keep up. I feel lucky to really be enjoying my job lately. My energy is not what it once was, but I feel truly happy with life. I think I appreciate my life more than before. I appreciate a beautiful day more than I did before. And I don't worry about reaccurence all the time......I think about it regularly, but not constantly. Hope this helps those of you who are closer to DX. 

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  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited March 2012

    Does your new guy like his new home???  I am sure he is beyond spoiled now.....and loving every moment of it.

    And so are you.  - Claire

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  • financegirl
    financegirl Member Posts: 114
    edited March 2012

    I finished treatment the end of January and in 3 weeks it will have been a year since dx.  About midway I began to change my mindset.  It came down to "it is what it is" and seriously, there's not a whole lot I can do about it.  The hardest part of cancer for me is that it is not something you are able to just "fix".  I had a fantastic oncologist so at some point I just decided I needed to trust him enough to figure it out.  At that point, cancer stopped becoming an all consuming thing for me.  

    I think we all feel cancer changes us - you bought a horse, and in my case, I moved my bucket list closer to the nearer future.  Two upcoming cruises and one is a trip of a lifetime.  Something else recently happened - someone I knew that was very close in age to me died recently of a heart attack.  Just keeled over and that was it - no diagnosis, followed by a treatment plan to even think about fighting it.  That kind of put things into a new perspective for me - none of us is guaranteed their golden years.  Our weather is changing and that's helped a lot.  Now that it's getting warmer and pretty out it's much easier to get out and about and not stuck inside with a lot of time on my hands to think about it. 

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  • Mollydog
    Mollydog Member Posts: 93
    edited March 2012

    I think it's just fine not to have BC forward center 24/7.  You just enjoy your new "pet."  I agree, you are an inspiration.  Take care.

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  • CherylinOhio
    CherylinOhio Member Posts: 623
    edited March 2012

    Claire-The hrose is doing fine, he is getting settled in. Now I have to think of a new name because my sister has a 2 year old with the name Max. He has blue eyes some am thinking of something with blue in the name. "Chasing my Blues Away" was one, a show name, then his barn name would be blue, which my sister has already started calling him. Or All the Jazz and call him Jazz which is what I have called him this weekend. Either way he is doing well, thanks for asking. He got a new saddle this weekend. I went to an auction, I have never been to one before. Let me tell you, WOW how exicting! I was so charged all day! It was so fun!! I told my sister I feel like I am on a high and need a smoke. Her new boyfriend offered me one which I politely declined. Yea!!

    Financegirl-My onc never told me my staging either. I found out from my BS coordinator. Boy what shock to hear! I found out right before I went for my bone and ct scan after my first surgery. URG!!! In the past 6 months I have had 2 friends from high school pass away from heart attacks. I am in my 40s so very young for HA. Life is precious, we must enjoy!!

    My next surgery is next Monday ladies. Recon: Implant one side and TE other side. Am excited and nervous, not sure what to expect pain wise. Getting an LD flap done so,..not sure how I am going to sleep. Upside down? Standing up? Mmmmm.. have to see how I feel.

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  • alexandria58
    alexandria58 Member Posts: 1,588
    edited March 2012

    How about Blue Skies - for the song, a jazzy sort of tune, which seems appropriate.    If you don't know it, here's the lyrics:

    "Blue Skies, smiling at me, nothing but Blue Skies, do I see.

    Blue birds singing a song, nothing but blue birds all day long.

    Never saw the sun shining so bright, never saw things going so right.

    Noticing the day hurrying by, when you're in love, my how they fly.

    Those Blue Days, all of them gone.  Nothing but Blue Skies from now on."

    Enjoy your wonderful new horse. 

    alex

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  • CherylinOhio
    CherylinOhio Member Posts: 623
    edited March 2012

    O, I like that...thanks for the suggestion.  I was going to sing the Jeepers Creeper where'd ya get those peepers, but I can't name him jeepers creepers, (LOL) that is scary...

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  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited March 2012

    How is he doing in his new home, Cheryl?  What name did you settle on?  So excited for you both.

    Agree on making sure all of us enjoy life.

    Anyway, so very exciting about the new guy in your life.  Hope too that your surgery went well. - Claire

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  • CherylinOhio
    CherylinOhio Member Posts: 623
    edited March 2012

    Hi Claire, it is 5 days after surgery still very incomfortable. My back and chest are very tight. I wake up wisihing I didn't do this but I did. Least I did not have to get TE's. I hope it gets better soon, I don't know if I like the feel of these implants, they feel heavy on my chest.

    I decided on Jax. My sister's yearling's name is Max so we have Jax and Max.  Not sure on his show name, have tried several out: Chasing my blues away; I'm a Looker; Impressive Blu.  Not sure on which one yet. He seems to be settling in well. Him and Max are buddies. Jax loves to roll, omgosh he does that as soon as he goes out. He seems to love to be dirty! He has a really big head so I am having a time finding halters and bridles, ha ha.  But he is great, I miss him I have not been there since sunday before surgery. Plan on going to see him tues when the drains come out. Hope all is well with you!!

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