February 2011 chemo pals

haha..I'm so behind but I had to comment on your alls hair comments on page 79. I too, got a hair cut too soon. And now it feels like my hair is super super thin. And it grows fast in the back, but slow on top. My onc said that this is normal actually. I have a big shag of hair on my head right now that sticks up everywhere, but I refuse to get it cut. Ppl keep asking when I'm going to...but I just don't think I will for awhile.

Special k and mama, I'm so happy you're both did well with surgery and are on the recovery road

xo

SPECIAL K, oh I imagine they should go ahead and pull the drain, particularly since not much is coming out.  I had a terrible time with my drains after the regular surgery, very sore.  But once they came out, I was a new woman.

Awwww FUZZY, sweet dear one Fuzz, I think you have not had a moment's peace.  Seems like for weeks and weeks now you've had a tough workweek.  It's not good for your psyche.  Can't you take a long weekend this coming weekend?  Maybe leave time without pay?  You and hubby go stay in a nice hotel and order room service and movies?  I vaguely recall you had considered a trip, but that's too far away, perhaps. 

I shall overstep my bounds and offer you advice, even tho you don't need it.  You are so lovely, so intelligent, so creative, I can't hold a candle to you.  But I spend some time in the spirit world and I know what some things actually mean.  You know, Fuzz, I had a family member I had worlds of trouble with, couldn't get away from it, went on for years.  FINALLY I applied some new spirit knowledge I had gained, which was to (a) REALLY forgive others and (b) be kind to others.  Now, I know, that sounds familiar, it's the New Testament, but the real scoop on that is whomever is making your life hell, you have to take a good guess why they are the way they are.  Perhaps before they leave home to go to work, their live-in mother screams at them, or their husband unties them under threat of death until they get home, or they grew up on the other side of the tracks and never had a bath and kids made fun of them.  Develop a sympathy scenario.  And then on being kind, this takes practice, but comes fairly easily for the target once you know they cannot help it.  See, YOU be the BIG one in it.  You don't have to be best pals, but you can ALWAYS be nice.  If something ridiculous comes out of their mouths (they always have three or four), just ignore it, don't miss a beat, and go on as tho nothing had happened. 

Now, if YOU'RE losing it, hey, aren't there some tranquilizers out there to make the world seem happy and peaceful?  Yes!  You got a psych doc in place and you can get them immediately.  And do not be so hard on yourself, if it's you.  Hon, ALL OF US open mouth and insert foot with almost measurable regularity, it's the human condition to be lowly, so while it IS troubling, don't hold onto it, just dust yourself off and joke around more and let bygones be bygones.  If someone won't, just remember, it's becuz they lived in a dungeon at some point in their lives, be it now or 30 years ago, and they cannot help it.  BELIEVE ME, other people around you will know what's what. 

I've taken leave from "don't interefere, Gail" manners and tried to cover two possibilities relating to work.  So, I'll go one more time.  If it's at home, well, that's a whole diff ballgame.  About the only thing I've learned from one unsuccessful marriage and one good one is, in times of crisis, do for them what they ought to do for you.  Be kind (again), be sympathetic (again), and ask them how THEIR day was, offer to fix their fav meal, ask them to go with you to walk at twilight around the neighborhood, just talking about the weather, simple things, funny things.  Always turn outward when your thoughts go too far inward.  Give them a break.  Of course, if they're really out of line, that's when it's time to throw something that will smash into smitherines and put them in their place.  "How dare you!" and heavy sobs behind a slammed door works very well. 

If all else fails, I find a good hog-killin' may be in order.  Hahaha.  Yup, take thine enemy, go back in time before Christ came along, and follow the instruction of Moses, et al, and slay this person with a quick one-two.  Trip them up, lay in waiting, set a trap, push them down the stairs.  Hahaha.  You know you CAN, but that's when you pull back.  KNOW THY STRENGTH, girl, and then keep all thy gifts of power and magic to yourself.  Just walk on by.  As I've said before, just think of them as "Silly Earthlings, I don't care one whit about what's going on with you," and then miss the spittoon on your way out of the bar.  GG   I LOVE FUZZ I LOVE FUZZ I LOVE FUZZ  xoxoxoxoxoxo (((fuzzywuzzy)))

P.S.  If anyone else wants advice, plez understand I have no earthly idea what is going on out there!  I just happen to know Missy Fuzzy well enough (I hope) to TRY to give her a hand.  Trouble with advice is, I always wind up singing to the choir.  But before I get into any REAL trouble, I'll say what my husband told me one time when I was trying to apologize for interfering, "There is but one rule of holes.  When you find yourself in one, quit digging."  SMILE.

Bless you, Cindy, you've been thru the mill.  But think of your hospital stay as a vacation from the world's miseries, enjoy food being served to you, a nurse offering pain drugs, visitors, flowers... GG 

Cindy.

I hope your surgery is painless and without any complications!  Please let us know how it goes.  In 24 hours, you'll be done.

Laura

Cindy, I will be sending out positive healthy thoughts your way. looking forward to hearing from you after

Dogeyed, you give the BEST advice!! EVER!

Fuzzy, hope you're feeling better. And SpecialK, hope you're no longer itchy!

xo

CHEMO PALS, Well, today I visit my breast cancer clinic in town, first time since rads quit, and I am assuming all will be well.  I thought I'd announce it since it were HERE that we all began or resumed our cancer dance routine on into the dark and lonely night.  But, even for those who are in the throws of yet another risky revisitation, sunshine is on the other side, be it brief or long, and for that I am forever thankful.  Not many people know what is truly important in life, we each have our own North Star, and I know all of us have found ours.  I also want to say I am sorry I've always been so wordy with my speeches, so I just deleted a long crazy one to Fuzzy about how to run her life.  I should have been a preacher woman, I suppose, but I'm way too silly for such things.  Anyway, I also want to give a shout-out to MISSY FUZZY, to whom I talked to like I was her mother or something a few days ago, and my only consolation is it's only because I care too much.  And for those here, like CINDY and MICHELLE  and others who continue to be pushed around by this awful disease, I set the hounds upon the intruder to knock it down. 

Right now my back is killing me (from before cancer), but I got a good night's sleep, so I reckon I can tackle today's appointment, along with a two-week's worth of grocery visit to the store, put all the cold stuff away, and then I'm home for four days until I have three more doc appoints next week, which I always put them together so as to not worry with it other times of the year.  And then it shall be spring.  Yes, ladies, remember, spring is always just around the corner, especially now, March 20 is the official beginning of spring, altho it has already began waaay too soon in my part of the country on account of all the blizzards and tornados have skimmed north of the NC line that goes from coast to Mississippi unbroken.  Forgive my excuse to come on here and essentially say the same thing as often as possible to you all, but I LOVE MY CHEMO SISTERS forever and always, Gail   

Dogeyed Love your words! Keep on writing. I'm so glad that we are still coming together on the Feb chemo thread.

It's amazing what we've all been through in a year and all that we still deal with... Life is forever altered to be sure but I hope that things are getting a little bit easier as time goes by. Wishing the best to everyone who still has treatment or surgery or is dealing with lingering SEs!

Ha, thought I had erased that first line when I realized I had caps on...guess I just moved it up...

Welcome back, Jenn.  That quote is so true, and you are living by it. Stay strong.  I do like having cleavage again, but if it interfered with any treatment, would give it up in a heartbeat.

GG- I feel for you and know this is all very distressing.  But you might to clarify if your doctor is rejecting your request for a full body CT or PET scan, or just doing a mammo now and scan later?  I think to justify a full body scan, the doctor needs to have a medical reason.  Does he feel there's a medical reason to justify the scan, and is removal of a cyst enough?  Just some questions to ask him.  Sorry if I'm missing the point.

MAMA OF TWO, I originally asked for a CT scan because doc was beginning to end our first post-treatment appointment back in November without mentioning any sort of diagnostic tool to see if my cancer had spread.  I had three cancers in my boob, two are amongst the most lethal there are, very aggressive in their spread, and he said they didn't do a scan!  I said, "How in the hell do you know if cancer has recurred or has gone elsewhere?"  He said they waited to see if anything developed and then went from there.  I told him I wasn't gonna wait for nothing and I wanted a scan.  That's when he put it off and said when he saw me in March, he'd set one up.  I told him I wanted one now, and if he waited until March and something turned up, it would ruin my spring and summer that was taken from me last year, and I was unplugging my system for the duration.  So, he said when he saw me in March, he'd set it up for September.  You see, M of 2, my stats are not good at all, my prognosis is poor, and I'm lucky to be alive now.  On top of the whole thing, my mother's mother died of ovarian cancer, and do you know this same doc WOULD NOT remove one of my ovaries that they found had a cyst on it, just blew my mind.  Now, this may be my last spring and summer, it's mine and no one can have it, and he basically ignored everything I asked him for, by not setting up the scan for September and also by sticking in a mammogram that, if it showed anything, and while I am concerned about it, why the hell didn't he do one back in November, becuz if he does it now and it shows something, again there goes my spring and summer, and yes, as I said, TO MY PERIL I refuse right now for reasons I just gave. 

I hope that clarifies and I don't even know why I mentioned it, really, because it was a little too complicated for a post, I suppose.  I just figured the chemo gals who had gone thru the entire treatment parade also had diff followup experiences and might want to hear mine, I recall some docs do scans and some do not.  And my brother, we're just a year apart and are very close, his young son had bone cancer and a half-dozen surgeries and spent a year in the hospital, lost his leg... brother was very upset when he found out my doc wasn't going to do a simple and inexpensive (relatively speaking) CT scan in case my cancer spread.  And I'm on Medicare and so it's not a little unknown insurance situation.

And the reason for a scan is becuz, don't you know, (a) I could die, (b) it's cheaper to catch cancer early than late, (c) the Nazi SS insurance companies may think they can run my care, but they got another thing coming with me, because I'd take them all the way to the Supreme Court of the United States to let them know if they're going to insure my life, they had best take care of me, or they are going to PAY, even if I'm dead and it goes to my descendants.  And I might add our visionary President Obama tried very hard to change our health care system so we get well patients instead of seeing one patient per quarter hour, and a bunch of stuck Republicans are calling for "repeal of Obamacare."  REALLY offends me.  Sorry, the whole thing just pisses me off so much.  And since you asked, I wanted to be clear.  I live in a world of principals whilst in this body, but I also appreciate our forefather's words, "Give me liberty or give me death."

EMILY IN ONTARIO, now, I had rads following modified radical mastectomy with no reconstruction by choice (don't want to go in and out of hospital for all that jazz), so my results may be diff from what your'e talking about.  But my incision area that they apparently allowed a three-year-old to close up, and that is burned up from rads, has bumps, lumps, folds, hardness, softness, and in general is a wad of unkept, numbish, caved-in shark bite skin.  Smile.  GG

GG - no problem.  I didn't mean to come off as being critical,.  You know your own medical issues, I don't!  I do hope you can convince your onc to order the scan.  Laura

GG, Feel better...physically and emationally, you mean the world to us! It's not an easy road to travel and it's ok to get mad, crazy, or whatever you need to be to get through it!

Not too bad. I have a wound vac attached the the stupid hole in my stomach left over from hysterectomy, hoping it will only need to be on for another week! Would love to get back to somewhat normal and be able to do some exercise, a little bored sitting around at home!