Lying about having breast cancer

confront that nasty person. ask her who her onc is etc.......In front of everyone

Here's how calling the media goes:

Media to School:  I hear you have a teacher there faking breast cancer?

School:  We cannot comment on personnel issues or healthcare matters regarding our employees.

Media to Teacher:  Are you faking breast cancer?

Teacher: What?  I have no idea what you are talking about; it must be gossip.

or...

Teacher:  No, I'm not faking breast cancer.  

Media:  Can we see your records?

Teacher:  No, they are protected by Hippa and I want my privacy, but I can tell you my treatment  is over and I'm on the road to recovery

Media to Doctor:  Can I have the health records of Mrs Teacher?

Doctor's office "Laughing hysterically." 

End of story. 

Those other stories were in the media because it was a money scam, which is a crime.  This teacher, assuming the gossip is real, is not asking for money.  Missing 6th period prep is not newsworthy, nor a crime.  Even if her request to be off-campus was on false pretenses, it's an internal personnel problem and not a criminal event.

If she was a horrible teacher, than parents are going to complain to admin, trust me on that.  Parents do that daily and admin knows who is effective and who isn't and do their best to mitigate damage to kids (although you practically have to rape a child for the union to allow anybody to be fired).  She might be an excellent history/math/science teacher with one weird little quirk.  Maybe she has a mental illness or maybe she is just needy.  Neither are legal cause for job action.  Neither guarantees that students will be hurt.  Many very effective teachers are a bit quirky, it requires that creative skillset.    Maybe it hasn't affected her students at all - she's leaving during the time when she has none, and who knows if she's even mentioned it to them.

Or, it might all be a misunderstanding.  It's never a good idea to call the media but like I said before, it is appropriate to talk to the principal when somebody has concerns about a teacher.  So, that is what I'd recommend - for anybody who actually works AT her school and has concerns, that is.  It would be appropriate to bring literature in regarding breast cancer treatment so the Principal can discover that people don't have rads for 2 years.  But, even if somebody does that, and he believes you - there is STILL not much he can do.  You just don't fire teachers unless they have actually physically harmed a student.  He can tell her she can't leave campus without a doctor's note but she'd probably grieve it and win.

Now, I'm in CA maybe the unions aren't so strong elsewhere.  But, I kind of think they are - anyway, that's what would happen here.

If complaining about fakers makes you all feel better, have at it.  But, there is nothing to be done here.

We have had plenty of fakes on bco, those are the ones to sniff out!   

I'm in CA too and a CTA( California Teachers Association) member. The word is that the only union in the state more powerful than CTA is the prison guards union. Agree with Ann that in our state due process involved in teacher termination is a long, hard road.

Caryn

I agree with Beesie - the order of business here is supporting/commenting on the OP in her quest and determining whether the woman is lying about BC, and what she can do about it That's all.

I just reread the original posting at the top. It sounds like administration has already been contacted on this. Perhaps they have not been presented with the exact details in comparison with actual facts about breast cancer treatments. However, I am thinking that in order for you to have some peace with this, your colleagues need to hear how much this is getting you worked up and ask them to leave you out of the details from now on. Good friends would put your mental health above their interest in this. 

Also, I can relate to the frustrations of working within a union. I have worked for more than one. I found in one situation that I had my closest co-worker who worked around the rules a lot and did not do her job well, did not support me as a co-worker, ran around gossiping making up things to make me look like a problem, all the while reminding me of how long she had been there - 25 years. I was there for 7 years. It was the only job she had ever had in the professional world after college. She was put through the whole warning process by the union, a very lengthy process, and then my boss didn't pull the trigger when she had one last violation that could have ended the problem. Then it ended up that I heard lay-offs were coming. I found another job and moved myself and my family out of state, giving up any pay-off that they would have given me to leave, rumored to be $10-15,000. During the move our old house burned down. I worked at the new job for 2.5 years and then got restructured, then let go from contract work for my cancer diagnosis. She eventually was laid off with a huge pay-off because she had been there so much longer, but has not been able to find work for over three years. I had so much bitterness toward her for all her deceitful actionss. It was so unhealthy. I was also very angry with management for letting her get away with her bad behavior. Even though my life has had some very rough times since leaving that company, it has been very good for me and I have continued to find contract work with several very large corporations since and am enjoying the learning experiences and being out of that dynamic.

I've had many situations where I can see through the lies a person tells, and yet no one around me seems to notice that other person's lies.  I might mention my doubt by saying, "That doesn't add up" or "something's not right".  I often see red flags when everyone else is blind to them.

In time, another person's lies usually come to light, through no effort on my part.  

So I believe SirenaGorda knows what she's talking about when she says this other teacher is lying about having bc. And I can understand her frustration at how that teacher seems to be getting away with so much because of the lies.

CoolBreeze has valid points, tho.  I've had some things consume me and had to realize I had no control over it, and it was better to distance myself from those situations.

At some point, the woman's lies will trip her up.  I see that happen quite a bit, even if it takes time for that to happen.

The idea of sending some kind of anonymous letter to anyone, whether it's the teacher or her boss is incredibly childish and cowardly.  CoolBreeze is right when she says anonymous stuff is never taken seriously.  I've had issues with the school in my town, and sent letters, every single one of them with my name on them.   

It really is best if you try to move on from this, frustating as it is.  You will find the situation will take care of itself and you'll say, oh, I saw that coming. 

@ihate....   this is a wakeup to watch out for people asking for money....   they can go thru local channels, not beg on Internet.  so many social workers at hospitals, drug companies that give help too.  makes the real people suffer cause the public is suspecting.....

     I can't believe people lie about this kind of thing, but they do. I worked through one of the hardest regimens out there (AC) and was still working my 40hrs at a labour job, then I found out my cancer was chemo resistant which meant my cancer is most likely radiation sensitive (which my skin was so badly damaged that my reconstruction was uncertian). Most of my co-workers knew (though some thought I shaved my long hair for the summer, I found it funny that I looked good bald and ppl didn't think I look sick). One of my co-worker got a jaded idea that all people could handle chemo and radiation like me (which I informed him some get sicker than others and don't judge)... then again I never asked for help or looked for sympathy (even though my work was really supportive and paid for the days I had to go and get my chemo therapy... if I needed to go on medical leave they were ready with the paperwork). Hence my point, my coworkers sought out the information because I was acting unusual, I did not go making excuses or saying information after the fact. So if they are looking for sympathy they should be more open about it ...why would they need straight sympathy? Most people want support or empathy as they tell people how horrible the treatments are, how their life has changed and the little details... like not being able to reach above your head or only being allow specific soaps when undergoing radiation (it is in the details). Sadly their are some ppl that don't get any support from family or friends if they have cancer (I blame a little of that on liars). I guess if you are going to be public about it, why would you hide everything instead of trying to bring awareness through personal experience. It strikes me as odd when people are open (while being completely shut at the same time).

   So I guess what I am trying to say is some people lie, some are better at it than others. I know that most doctor here do not like telling the illness unless absolutely needed (so the doctor say sick/ill) leaving the patient to explain if they want on the details. While a person can be sick... it is much better to say you have Cancer than Herpes or Influenza or others ( Cancer may have stigmas attached but not as bad as an STD or any other illness that is percieved badly or not even recognized). So she may be sick (maybe even depression which she doesn't want anyone to realize she is mentally sick), then again I once had a x-boyfriend tell me his father died just to get sympathy from me... some ppl are SICK in the head.

   With that said, I am enraged with a woman who is dragging my boyfriend's (her X) name through the mud and playing people for sympathy saying she is dying from breast cancer and he abandoned her. She made a claim that she was dying with a comment on a picture on facebook . She has no idea who I am or what I have been through and I get so enraged at her bad mouthing my bf and I understand it is her x, she is using this to get attention and nothing more... cuz if she was really concerned and trying to warn me, a private message would have been more appropreite. While I don't want to sound like the girl who hates the x, cause I am not like that... She has told everyone she is dying of breast cancer with no details like what treatments or procedures... she is also older (around 50) which is more common while mine I was 28 with BC. She has alienated and bad mouthed my boyfriend... it is taking all my power not to call her out on it (which will just make me look bad)... she is mentally unwell but I have no idea how to get her help or get her to stop hurting my friends and bf with her lies. (PS her surgery was to remove an uncomfortable fatty lump deposit under her arm, which her x was with her at the time, was there when the doctor said it was NOT cancer). One liar has effected so many people and she is so good at it that only a few people are just starting to wonder if it is a lie.

Any idea on coping with my anger or the x-girlfriend who has been dying for 2 years from breast cancer she never had...? 

Hi i am new to this community I saw this topic about lying and wanted to add my two sense. I think sociopaths lie and try to get in yr head like they understand. This has happened to me after being asked numerous times if my nipples were bleeding yet on my last day of work a day befor my bilateral mastectomy. I have in the past tried to get this woman in trouble for harassment in the work place just to be shunned and pushed away like a liar and shit stirrer. I have decided to stop hating and wanting to hurt her for the few years this has been going on. She has pulled the wool over everyone

This is an interesting thread for several reasons.....

I told my DH about this, an attorney at a Energy Co. .....right off the bat, he mentioned that many large Corporations are providing self funded medical plans to their employees, and the laws are a "tad different" regarding HR rules and medical leave/ special accommodations with employees...I did not ask the particulars, nor do I suggest to know such.

But my "evil" 😡 mind wonders if it might be easier for an employer to find out "if" said employee is receiving Cancer TX.? Due to the employer self funded insurance "paper trail"? I do not know any such thing....but you have to wonder.

The union would "protect" this teacher in respect to her privacy. The school would have no such knowledge, other than medical letters and minimal documentation, probable requests for special accommodations per her treating MO and other members of her TX. Team. So they actually might not "know" the truth about this situation, and probably cannot ask. I am wondering if it is against the union laws for another employee to "openly confront" said employee about the situation....I would thread very carefully on this issue.

White collar workers at most large Corporations have no such Union protections. HR works to make sure that the company is following the correct labor/employment laws, they are not out to protect the employee. I worked for a large corporation during which time I received complex treatment for another illness...my medical provider submitted the correct documentation, and I did not have a problem, no questions asked. But HR had to have known what was going on, as my treatment was "NOT"covered by BC/BS of New York. The Corporation, thru their self funding of the policy....paid for the treatment, out of network. Employees only knew what I told them, but with a IV hanging out of my arm every six hours...well, it was obvious. Lyme disease, 15 years ago, BTW

Another option to consider...is it possible she has some sort of "rare cancer"? I have been in touch with several Phyllodes patients (due to experiencing two such monsters myself) who have, quite literally, been treating repeated reoccurrences of several Phyllodes tumors with Rads. One guy has had three tumors in three years, two tumors in one breast ( right upper pole for one tumor, outer lower left side for the other tumor. Both were in his right breast.) And another reoccurrence in his left breast. Just found out he is PTEN positive. Being that this tumor is actually a Sarcoma, and less than 1% of all breast tumors.....I imagine trying to discuss this with employees "could" be futile.

Sad if she is truly lying though....