How to deal with this?

I started writing and then just wiped it.  Two of my docs see nothing to worry about.  The third is worrying, so I will have an excisional biopsy.  Having three sisters, I let them know.  What I got back was insane.  All about getting ready to die.  Articles about hospice care.  Emails about getting my stuff in order and making sure I have powers of attorney for health care decisions and for financial decisions, and all of this with a large suggestion that 3 or 4 people should be on them.  I have a husband who knows what I want, and I won't have him outvoted by my not so caring sisters.  I watched my sister unplug our mother she didn't like very much.  And two of them went out on the town while our dad was in intensive care and slipped into a coma, after they promised me I could go home to sleep after being by his side for two days and they would not leave him.  I don't trust them at all.  I've protected my finaces.  I have a will that doesn't include my sisters.  The whole thing pisses the hell out of me.  Instead of feeling support, I'm seeing the vultures circling.  Again.  They did this when I first was diagnosed, and they are doing it again.          

That will never work.  I was hoping for someone with a bitch of a family.  I guess I am the only one. 

My bad.

I was told I should have an excisional biopsy to check out a spot of thickening that was probably from all that radiation, but no one wants to take a chance with me.  I had a fine needle aspiration in September and it was clear, but when I went back, the surgeon still didn't like it.  And no, it didn't show up in my perfect mammogram in October, and the oncologist checked that spot out in September, two days after the needlework and could not find anything wrong.

So, in the abundance of caution that is my world now, I went in and had the thing taken out and sent under a microscope to be sure.  That was Tuesday, and now it is Saturday and I spoke to the nurse on Friday and there is no report yet.  This will be a long weekend.

But in the interim I told my baby sister that this was going down.  She demanded that I immediately execute an Advance Health Care Directive and a Financial Power of Attorney and she wanted both to have multiple people who could act on my behalf.  I refused.  My sisters pulled the plug on our mother and want to be able to act without my husband.  I just felt the vultures circling and said no.  If I ever get bad news, I'm sure they will be back.  I will never let them have access to my power plug or my bank account.  They seem too eager for my taste.         

Thanks mccrimmon324,

I got the good news today that the Pathology folks found nothing at all.  Also had a sister on the phone to get the inside scoop, which was no doubt passed along to the others.

The deal is that my sisters are known for showing up at the door of a dead relative and "helping" the survivor to take care of stuff.  Some of that stuff shows up in the homes of my sisters.  They have done that for decades and I don't respect that at all.  When I got sick, I got frozen meals shipped to my door, and books about cancer and dying, and a couch blanket and pillow, and special deodorant and lotion and shampoo, and flowers.  All from sisters who had not visited me in years.  I went ballistic.  I wasn't planning on dying.  In fact, I worked through 16 weeks of chemo and 7 weeks of radiation.  Took a day off here and there when I was "sleeping on the bathroom floor sick."  When I had a break between chemo and radiation, I attended the wedding of my cousin.  I asked everyone politely not to photograph me because I didn't want to remember this chapter of my life.  Most happily complied.  One sister took that as a challenge and would jump out of doorways and snap bad shots of me trying to cover my face with hands covered with tape over my fingernails.  She put the worst one of them on the internet, and I had it taken down in a matter of hours, and received more flowers as an apology because she claimed not to understand that I meant what I had asked.  That is not a kind person.  And she is not stupid.  She has a graduate education.  She is simply cruel.

There is no way I would trust a person like that with anything important to me, and I won't.        

mccrimmon32,

Sometimes you need to get to the bottom of it, and sometimes you don't.  It's your choice.

From where I am right now, I'd probably get up and kiss your grandpa on the head and say that if he'd had better hair, you would probably have had more back already, and thicker than before.  It's a genetic thing.  But then say that you love him anyway.

Family has the capacity to hurt a person more than anyone else.  Understanding that can set you free.  I know my siblings don't care much.  Other people do.  Find your other people who do.  They are more family than the dna ones, and they care more.

Thanks, ma111 and mccrimmon32.

I have the forms.  I'll get them done.  What has taken me so long is that there are a few family things that should be passed down as there is so little left of family things.  Deciding on those is harder than everything else, and I don't even know if young people today give a flying about something in the family for a hundred years or more.

I got a call from my aunt.  My Dad's only sibling, and my Dad is gone now over 8 years.  She was giving what used to called a "courtesy call" to ask how I was and gather information, while mentioning that she also is a survivor (Stage 0), and knows how hard it can be.

I didn't actually laugh, but could have.  I just shared that I was initially told that I'd have less than a 30% chance of being alive and well at 5 years, and so I also know how hard it can be.

manan,

We can pick our friends, and can limit our family.  I hope you are okay, my friend.