Just Diagnosed & Brain Numb

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited February 2012

    Thanks..... It just figures that one of the uncommon cancers (intracystic carcinoma) was found.  For the most part, I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground, taking one step at a time and moving forward and staying positive.  The calmness I now have is fueled by the support and care from my family, friends, women here and the team of doctors now involved in my case.  One couldn't ask for anything more.  Yes, I do breakdown but know I have to reserve all of my health and strength for the tougher parts of my treatment. That  nasty cyst with cancer is out and more treatment is just around the corner to make sure the cancer is out and stays gone.   You are right---- I just want to get going with the rest of my treatment so I can get finished with the yucky parts of my treatment.  :)  HUGS to all tonight and gigantic thanks for helping reach this part of my journey. xoxoxo  

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  • Godlistens
    Godlistens Member Posts: 47
    edited February 2012

    Ok, you have seen your doctor, you have a name for your type of disease, and you have a plan in place. Now try to take one day at a time, and try not to obsess about what lies ahead. Try to keep busy; do things that will take your mind away from your situation. It is OK to think about everything and plan, but don't obsess. I know this is easier said than done, but you have done everything you can do at this point, and everything is in place.....now just savor the small moments of everyday life.....until next time....

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited February 2012

    Godlistens--- I am so thankful and glad that you found me and continue to give me support.  The other evening while I was talking to my Mom on the phone (she lives 3 hours away) I noticed that I started to get curt with her and so I quickly apologized .  I told her that I never intend to be curt or mean with her or anyone else when they inquire about my situation and know that people who ask are the ones who care and want to help me.   Ah, perspective is so important here.  So everyday, I work on having a little calm, a little peace, good conversations and hugs from family and friends, laugh as much as I can.  Staying positive and hopeful as I move forward.  Sending positive thoughts and good karma to all and hugs for helping hold me up.  :).      

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  • Laura5133388
    Laura5133388 Member Posts: 577
    edited February 2012

    melrosemelrose, I finished chemo in Dec. and just finished radiation last Friday. I will continue with Herceptin until Aug. It seems like just yesterday I was right where you are. It does get better. Chemo was definitely the toughest, but not as bad as I had feared. I used cold caps, so I didn't have the dreaded hair loss to deal with. 

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited February 2012

    Laura5-- Thanks for your reassuring words.  Glad to know that my BC is treatable and so there is hope.  I am also reassured by you and others that I can do the treatment plan that will become more defined and real to me shortly.  :) 

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  • Godlistens
    Godlistens Member Posts: 47
    edited February 2012

    I had a few meltdowns when I was planning all my appointments. My sister actually made some appointments for me because she thought I was not moving fast enough. Every little thing upset me. I was constantly worried about my choices being the right ones. Am I choosing the right doctor, the right oncologist?? I was so hard on myself. PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT TO YOURSELF!!! My brother very gently reminded me that the reason everyone was giving their opinion was out of pure love. Your family loves you and wants you to get through this so be patient with them!

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited February 2012

    Godlistens-- Glad you are there and helping me every step of the way. Patience is my friend----- patience with others and most of all, myself.  Thank you, my friend.  I am truly blessed to have you as a friend.

    Today, I got brave and finally read the preliminary pathology report alone. I must say that this intracystic cancer of mine is really weird.  Educating myself about my cancer lets me not be so afraid of the journey ahead and gives me a little control and a little calm.  

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  • Godlistens
    Godlistens Member Posts: 47
    edited February 2012

    Yes, I read all of my reports when I was ready. I did not read them at the very beginning, but as time went on, I wanted to know every detail. I also spent a lot of time on these message boards because I found the women to be extremely compassionate and sometimes more knowledgeable than the doctors!! I also loved the way I could get a response within minutes as opposed to waiting and waiting.... A few weeks ago, I finally took the entire file of all of my medical reports, scanned them onto my hard drive, and ripped them up and threw them into the garbage. That felt good, although I do still have copies on my computer. Another thought, when I was first diagnosed I joined a support group for the newly diagnosed. I found it extremely helpful because I sat with other women who were just diagnosed, and we all shared our thoughts. I am still in touch with these women after 4 years. Also, I have met some wonderful women along this rocky road....I hope you do too......

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited February 2012

    Just got back from the BS follow up appointment with the surgeon who removed that nasty thing in me.  I now have the full pathology report and his recommendations with respect to future surgery.  My MRI is this Friday and once the results are in on that, I should have more info to make my surgery decision.  Either way, I am ok with what has to happen and will continue to move forward and be positive and hopeful.  

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  • 1openheart
    1openheart Member Posts: 765
    edited February 2012
    It sounds like you are well on your way, Melrose.  Patience is indeed your friend.  It is one of the things that I have leaned to appreciate and cultivate throughout this past year.  Sending warm thoughts and positive, hopeful, healing energy your way.  I don't have to send it too far....I'm in central Texas.Smile
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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited February 2012

    Yahoo... a Texas connection down the road!!!!!  Since I know chemo is a for sure in my treatment plan, I'm thinking about having a hair party with close friends to celebrate the cutting of my waist length hair.  I'm planning to save it so i can have hair extensions made from it later.  Will continue to have a little peace, a little calm, lots of good conversations and laughter and positive thoughts everyday.  Why?----- Because I can.......

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  • bgirl
    bgirl Member Posts: 538
    edited February 2012

    Glad to see you looking toward the future. Continuing to send you good thoughts.  As everyone said once you have a plan, it really is easier.

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited February 2012

    Thanks to all who read about me and continue to reach out to give me and others support and comfort so freely.  Sending positive thoughts and good karma!!!!!  

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  • financegirl
    financegirl Member Posts: 114
    edited March 2012

    The diagnosis was the absolute worst part.  I was so fast tracked it made my head spin.  At annual GYN appt, she found a lump deep, left the room, called the local imaging place to say she was sending me over for a mammo/ultrasound that day.  Radiologist came in and said it didn't look good and as I was walking to car, the GYN called and said they'd just called so she, in turn had called my breast surgeon and he was doing a core biopsy at 8am the next morning, be there.  Two days later the call came.   I was numb for about 3 days, then set about researching and selecting my "team".  I had an oncological surgeon, oncologist and radiation oncologist.  Pretty much once that decision was made, not much else to do and nothing much was left in my hands.   A plan was developed and I had to just show up to receive the treatment from that point on.

    My tumor was small but very aggressive.  The ladies are right, things calm down once you know the plan.  From the point of diagnosis to today it has been 10 months.   I have finished treatment (4 A/C, 4T) of high density dosing chemo and 35 days of daily radiation, and just began Arimidex.  I agree with others that not knowing what to expect is the worst part.  I remember well going in for my first chemo I was a wreck but the premed always had Benedryl in it which calmed me down tremendously.  It's kind of like going to the dentist - your mind will often make it much worse than it is.   

    A few things - research and take time to select your team, have a good support system, listen to your body throughout treatment and definitely take one day at a time.  If you are tired, rest.  If there is a day you feel good, get out for some fresh air if possible.  Oh and in my case, I sure watched an awful lot of mindless TV  (HGTV and FoodNetwork)!

    I always am thinking of those just beginning their journey. That's definitely the roughest part.

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited March 2012

    Heading to MRI land this afternoon to get more info. to help decide what type of surgery I will have (lumpectomyor masectomy) and what effect that will have on the rest of my treatment plan (rads or no rads).  Since my blood pressure has been up, I went to my GP to get some high blood pressure medicine (Amlodipine besylate).  So I will start taking that med this evening.  I think it was my time to get blood pressure meds because hypertension runs in my family (My mom and brother).  

    Sometimes you just have to go with the flow of things and do the best you can do and be positive.  So today, I try to find a little calm, lots of patience, lots of good conversation, laughter and smiles and lots of support from above and everywhere and everyone. 

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  • 1openheart
    1openheart Member Posts: 765
    edited March 2012

    Melrose...good luck with your MRI today.  One more step to getting where you need to be.  I wish you calm, patience, good conversation, laughter, smiles and support from everyone you meet today.  And from me.....I wish you ease.

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  • Godlistens
    Godlistens Member Posts: 47
    edited March 2012

    How was your MRI today? Thinking of you....I am sure you do not have the results yet.  BUt you are well on your way to having a plan in place.  ONe step at at time.  I wish you peace of mind.....I am here if you need to emote.

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited March 2012

    Getting ready to leave for MRI land.  Thank you for the words.... need them right now and they are here.  Thanks....

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited March 2012

    Hope it went well for you~!

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited March 2012

    Just got back from MRI land.  Test went well-- I almost started coughing but held it in.  Spring has sprung in my nose with the blooming oak trees here..... Thanks again to all for the continuous support; it makes a difference for me!!!!

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited March 2012

    Had a localized reaction to the MRI-- my poor left boob got the hives.  (Poor thing has been through a lot thepast few weeks----,poked, prodded, surgery and then the MRI)  I'm okay since I'm already taking sinus allergy meds and put on some benedryl cream to relieve the itch.  Called a nurse friend of mine whose H is a oncology radiologist to make sure I was doing all I could do.  Just figures......Oh well.... and the journey continues.

    Sending positive thoughts to all!!! 

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  • SheChirple
    SheChirple Member Posts: 954
    edited March 2012

    melrose...you sound like such a positive spirit.  I know you have moments, like the rest of us, but you are ont he right track.

    Time drags during this stage, but one day you suddenly realize you are on the other side, the downslope, of your treatment and while it is with us forever, you will find a coasting stage.

    I have no advice, just wanted to comment that you are such a positive spirit!

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited March 2012

    Thanks for your words. Before I found out about the diagnosis, I knew that I had to stay positive regardless of the outcome of whatever tests that had to be performed.  So I try to be as positive as I can and stay as healthy as I can.  The past few days haven't been all that great since I'm getting over a sinus allergy attack, found out I have hypertension,  started my period, had two dentist appointments and the MRI.  I know it is a lot so it's ok to feel down but I don't stay down for too long because it isn't going to help me.   I just try to be positive and move forward.    

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  • 1openheart
    1openheart Member Posts: 765
    edited March 2012

    Melrose....you inspire me.

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited March 2012

    Have appointment with oncologist on Tuesday so I can get it clear in my mind how everything will proceed and what decisions I need to make about that poor left breast.  Meanwhile, I'm trying to get other appts made (dentist, eye doctor, gp) while I still can and so I can focus on the BC treatment plan.  A week has not gone by since the beginning of Feb 2012 that I wasn't in a doctor/dentist office getting examined for something.  I'm sure after the MRI results are released, I'll have another appt with the BS to discuss the best way to get the clean margin.  I'm beginning to accept the fact that I may end up having a masectomy because of the size of my breasts.  I will be okay; I just have to figure out whether I want reconstruction or not, when to start the reconstruction. Yep, I'm getting my question list for the oncologist.

    Wishing a little peace, a little calm, lots of good conversation, laughter and smiles and lots of positive thoughts as we all move forward on our journeys.

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  • cookiegal
    cookiegal Member Posts: 3,296
    edited March 2012

    http://www.the-rose.org/

    I have no personal experience, but I have always heard good things about this organization.

    Perhaps they can help you find a support group. Not everyone wants to go, but for me, it was very helpful. 

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited March 2012

    Thanks for the suggestion!!!!!  Haven't had time to go to the support group that is connected with the hospital breast center that my oncologist is but certainly want to go.  Thanks for thinking of me.

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited March 2012

    Glad you are taking care of yourself.  One thing I wished I had prior to my surgery, was a vitamin D level check.  I have had many since and am very deficient.  Maybe you could have your doctor check yours and medicate as needed.  There are threads on BCO that talk about vitamin D deficiency and breast cancer.

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  • Melrosemelrose
    Melrosemelrose Member Posts: 3,018
    edited March 2012

    Makratz---Thanks and big hugs to you!!!!  I will add that to my list of questions to ask at my next oncology appt this coming Tuesday.

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  • SweetCaroline2
    SweetCaroline2 Member Posts: 72
    edited March 2012

    I, too, feel dazed by my recent diagnosis. The doctor called me on Friday afternoon and said that I need to see a surgeon and an oncologist. She said that my ultrasound-guided needle biopsy showed a Grade I BC, that it was confined (what does that mean?) and something about chemotherapy and radiation, but I don't remember exactly what. I never expected to find myself posting on a discussion board like this one. 

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