**NEW** Starting Chemo March 2009

Well a belated Happy New Year to all.

Nadine, your cousin gave you good advice and it paid off. Sorry you had to go through it again but it sounds like they got it very early before any invasive components. I hope 2012 is a great year for you.



Michelle, I'm following your blog and FB posts. You are simply remarkable. I am so sorry that you haven't been feeling well and I can't imagine how terrible this is for you and I know your kids are weighing heavy in your thoughts. You are a terrific Mom and therefore it's so important to put yourself first when you're not feeling well....hard for us mothers to do but it's the best thing we can do for our kids. Your son's letter was priceless and you must be so proud. Not many young boys would do that...you taught him well....! Hugs and continued prayers sweet lady.


Chris, how did the checkup/ mammo go.


Rachel, Arthur is adorable and you sound so happy. I am so thrilled for you. Keep posting pics on facebook so all of us mothern hens can watch him grow.



Francine and I skype once in a while and it's so great to stay connected. Also playing words with friends with Chris and Michelle and Francine. Good game if anyone else wants to join in.



Much love and hugs to all.



BethP



Much love and hugs to all.

Hello all

I'm checking in again. I've seem to have "drifted" back to breastcancer.org as of late.   I am once again addicted as I was in the early days.

I've been going weekly to see my PS for fills, but now it seems that one of the ports have "magically" disappeared.  Can't seem to find it anywhere and I had a feel around myself and I can't locate it either.  So because of this, I couldn't get a fill on  Tuesday and I guess I'll have an ultrasound to see if they can locate it.  I'm at 360cc's so I want to get a little more before I call it quits, so we'll have to see.

Rachel - Arthur is so cute!  I love the pics you post of him on FB.  he is absolutely adorable.

Michelle - You have to be one of the strongest women that I have "met"  You keep going girl, and we are all here right behind you 100%.

 (((Hugs))) to all

Kim 

Francine...good luck on Wednesady..you'll finally be done. This must be number 10 for your surgeries...you are a super trooper.



Kim..interesting..how do they lose track of it. Isn't it magnetic?

. I agree with Francine...just when we think we've heard it all...something new crops up. I'm sure they'll locate it and you too will soon be finished.keep us posted.

Hugs y'all

BethP

Good luck with everything, Francine! Eleven...oh my goodness...

Blessings,

Nadine

Sending Happy Valentine's day wishes to all yiu great lasies.

Love you all



Hugs

Beth

Nadine...great to see you. Glad your TE's are going well. So nice that you enjoy gardening, very theraputic. Do you have a big garden? What do you like to plant. Not quite garden season here yet. Most people wait until after the May long weekend which is usually around the 24th of May.

Love and Peace to you too.

hugs

Beth P

Hi everyone. It has actually been at least 6 months since I'd been back here. Most of you are on FB, so I just haven't felt the need. Now I do. I'm the member sakura mentioned above. I've been back here poking around on Stage IV threads trying to get some suggestions for a new onc in KC or STL, asking questions on other things. I'm not sure I will hang out here like I used to- I'm not ready to admit that I am part of that group. I'm sure there is great support there and some great stories of survival , but there are also stories with unhappy endings and I'm not ready to face that. Mentally I'm thinking I going through chemo again and it will be longer and probably harder, but I am going to get in remission and be one of those that lives many many more years.

I am feeling strong at the moment, there are lots more details to share. I'm not doing treatment in Springfield where I live. I am going to go to either Kansas City or St. Louis which both have much better cancer centers. There are two here and I've been to both and don't like them. I need to have someone I trust and who will be accepting of my actually having a brain, doing my own research and asking as many questions as I want! 

 Ladies, get copies of your scan reports and read them yourselves. Its a lot of medical jargon but if there is something in there you don't understand, find someone who can translate for you. I had something suspicous on my PET scans 3 years ago but not conclusively anything and I was told all clear. The Scan report said this warrants further monitoring, but guess what? no monitoring til I had symptoms. (chronic cough). My left lung is full of fluid. Its's being drained tomorrow and hopefully I wil feel considerably better.I would have rather known back then when it was just a small spot.

I had to switch oncs because of insurance during 2010, right around the time I think I should have had a follow up scan. So I don't know if something got lost in the transfer of my records or what. I could be wrong that those spots are now what's mets, I'm going to get copies of my records from both places, but right now I'm focused on getting treatment asap. I got re-ported friday, I have MRI and PET scan on thursday. (I had CT scan and bone scan March 12) It took them 10 damn days to process them. They said the delay was in trying to get copies of previous scans for comparison. I think if there's that much going on, you shouldn't wait to release the records. I'm taking my business elsewhere asap. 

While I'm bitter about this and intend to follow up on it, I am trying not to dwell on it- I am where I am and I have to deal with it. I'm scared out of my damn mind but I am stepping up and making some changes in a lot of ways. I plan to start a blog like Michelle. stay tuned.

Oh Dayla, double whammy. I am so sorry to hear about Sage. I hope she is frolicking and happy now playing over the rainbow bridge.

And of course I am crushed to hear about your reccurence. Especially now that it seems maybe something could have been done sooner if they had been monitoring you properly 2 years ago. That is just so frustrating!!! Definitely you need a new team, and I am sure someone on the boards can recommend a good one in your area. The 10 days to get your CT results was also ridiculous!

 You are such a strong and powerful woman. I was so blown away by your AT hike and pictures, and so proud that you could do all of that after the nightmare of all of these treatments. I know you are also my age, and one of the only ones (like me) that does not have children. I know you will get through this and come out the other side just as strong as ever. In those weaker moments, please know that you can come here (or FB) and lean on us as we will always be here to support you.

 GREAT BIG HUGS!!!!!!

Janine

Dayla, knowing that there was a failure on the part of your caregivers must be such a burden for you. BC is hard enough without feeling your doctors have let you down as yours plainly did.  I hope you can find caregivers you can trust and who will be taking better care of you.

1.5 litres: yikes. Once the pain of the procedure fades I am sure you will feel the relief of not having that weight of fluid pressing on your chest.  Glad you are taking it easy, and sorry to hear about the phone.

Am thinking very much of Jasper as well as you. This is a horrible time for you both, and I am praying for calmer and better days ahead.

Dayla - i am so sorry that you have to go through all of this again.  I like Janine admire your strength.  I hope you find a new facilitiy with Dr's and nurses that you will truly trust to have your health in their hands, along with accepting you as your own very informed advocate.  Well wishes to you.  Prayers - Patti

Glad you have whatever limited comfort can come from knowing this was not something missed. Hope they don't make you wait for these results. Thinking of you and Jasper xxxx

I find myself here 3 years and 3 months into my 5 years of tamoxifen and i can't continue. i have had the most horrible nausea to the point where i have to leave the dinner table or just stay in the house for fear of throwing up. i quit the tamoxifen a few months ago and the nausea went away. i went back on and was sick for a month straight. i have now quit again and the nausea again has gone away.

Has anyone had delayed side effects like this? my onc says that side effects dont appear after 3 years on tamoxifen but they do in my case. i never had nausea when i first started the drug.

Reeney I am sorry no one ever replied. Some of us are in contact on Facebook - please look for us there. I hope you found resolution of the nausea.

Everyone, I feel so sad and scared about Michelle. I wish there was a way to know how she is and, even better, a way to help.

I love you all.

Dayla...so nice to see you here and thank you for acknowledging our dear Michelle. . I am so glad that you are doing okay but I'm sure that Michelle's passing is especially hard for you as a fellow stage 4 sister. Keep doing what you're doing and keep on trucking! Remember that we are all individuals with different chemical/genetic makeups so you need to stay focused on yourself and don't feel that this will be your path. Its all random and a bit of a crapshoot and to some degree out of our control. Easy for me to say huh! But please Dayla, live your life, live your life with Jasper and all of those that are important to you. Try not to miss a moment of joy and love but at the same time...allow yourself to acknowledge the fear, acknowledge the mixed feelings, have a pity party..shed some tears....absorb it all...and then you will be renewed with strength so you can forge on and conquer the mountain of life. Control what you can...cut loose what you can't and embrace what is important to you.

Hugs to you Dayla.

Beth