Is There A September 2011 Chemo Group?

rj,you and your family are in my prayers. i think your youngest daughter suggestion is a good one.

kimberly, i am so ready to ditch my scarves unfortunately no sign of hair yet!!!!!

mags, i don't post on the tn forum but read it everytime i come to this site. i'm afraid to look to see who is losing their battle but afraid i probably know who you mean. this f****ing cancer sucks!!!!!

RJ - That's a big heartbreak and a big load on your shoulders.  We can't fix your problems, but it's an honor to hold your hand, lend an ear, send up a prayer, and maybe just shed a tear or two with you.

RJ - I hope you had a better day today....but I doubt it.  It's going to be a while before all the dust settles around this one.  Almost all families end up with drama, one way or another, one mistake or another.  Mine sure has had its lulus from mental health to addiction problems. 

rj, HUGS to you, i hope everything turns out good for you. congrats for your last radiation,it's been a long road but you did it!!!!!!!!! yeaaaaah

RJ, Glad things are going well enough for you to have an optimistic slant. I laugh thinking of the two of you at dinner, you trying to butter her up about the kids, her probably hoping she can butter you up for lawyer's fees and god knows what else. Good ole family dynamics at play. I don't take your problem lightly. I have a nephew and cousin who both died around age 30 due to similar problems, and a cousin's fiancee at a much older age. This is not to mention all the personalities that ping pong around during their life but do not die young. I can laugh at some of those memories now when I think of the details, but that is from a distance. There was no humor in it at the time.

Belle - How am I doing? I am getting stronger. My strength and energy are coming back faster than my hair. I am catching up on all the stuff, bit by bit, that got put on the back burner due to cancer treatment. I have renewed energy. Refrigerator gets cleaned, furnace filters changed. The gutters never got cleaned out and thank god it did not snow much here, because there would have been ice dams with really dirty leaks from those leaves. I can take a walk again with my sister. Curtains and comforters washed, floors rejuvenated. Thinking of washing walls and painting. Picking away at the basement, taking things to Goodwill. Thinking of spring so I started seedlings for vegetable garden. Wondering if I could get the fence restained this year. Cleaning up here and there a little every day the stuff that I could have cared less about when going through chemo. I am having fun trying new foods and new recipes, dipping into organic and vegetarian food. Wish I lost the weight as steadily as you have. Lost 20 from my chemo peak and still have 80 to go.

Still, sometimes, when I am feeling what is left of my chest I get scared if the cancer area feels more tender than other areas. My imagination, paranoia? Only time will tell. Same thing if I cough. Is that my smoker's cough, or something darker. Once you have a diagnosis, everything is a little scarier.

Mostly, I am feeling so much better, am glad treatment is over, and crossing my fingers it worked.

I sure do miss some of the voices that used to check in.  I think it must be me and my abrasive personality, then I wonder if you all got hit with such bad news that you can't even stand to share, then I think you all got better and went on with your lives.  Don't know.  Wish all of you well.

Belle, treatment is almost over and in just a couple of months you will be feeling stronger.  Day by day treatment takes you down, and day by day you recover afterward,  That's how it felt to me.

 The darn hair grows longer at side and back than on top.  Someone said embrace the mullet.  I wonder if the Anastrazole (generic Arimidex) is causing male bald pattern growth, friar tuck more on back and sides than on top. Because I do have growth on top I am not going to bitch, or yes I will.  If it keeps up like this I will be doing a comb-over like my Uncle John used to do per many old family pictures.  If Arimidex works, it's a small price to pay that top and front grows slower or thinner, but I'm not loving it when I want my hair back.

When you are diagnosed with cancer you are catapulted into a war you neither expected nor wanted.

You have an enemy in your camp and the Generals (doctors) yell bring out the chemo arsenal and so the onslaught  of your hallowed ground begins.

For to many agonizing rounds you take on heavy duty fire while the chemo seeks out the rebellious rebel cancer cells.

Unfortunately chemo while being a hero is not very discriminatory and takes out the valiant fighting good red and white soldiers cells as well leaving the land barren and decimated by the last round.

After the last shot has been fired you look around and realize some major rebuilding and renovation needs to take place.

It's gonna take a lot of time and prayer to get all regions working to full capacity.

At this time Nerve Central is having difficulty getting communication to the outer regions (hands and feet) this is still a "balancing" act while we try to get lines functioning again.

Brain control took a heavy hit ( lets face it even before the war there were never any genius cells residing there anyway) but the dummies that are left are trying hard to clear out the smoke fog. Memory was hardest hit.

All regions were starving because chemo would not allow much food to stay and  sent it back up from where it came with a little "return to sender "music playing. Now daily food supplies and supplements are being thrown down the airlift chute.

This is having some positive effects on Energy Control which has only been able to work at less than part time capacity these days.

Many regions are reporting vegetation sprouting once again especially at the top of the North 40. This sighting was received with much jubilation.

The monstrous mountains (previous residence of the afore mentioned rebellious cancer rebels) will were excavated and moved out this week to make room for the reconstruction of some fabulous new territory that will hide no enemies.

More and more red and white soldiers are now appearing daily and all regions are reporting and working diligently to get this ole gal up and running again.



I know communication to all my dear friends has been scant but please know that I have been deeply depressed and that was so overwhelming at times I didnt know what to do with the physical pain and emotional grief and now working on rebuilding our lives and my body that were shattered by the events of the past 7 months. As soon as some of my humor returned I knew I was getting well enough to repost. I am in the hospital now having a bilateral with DIEP flap reconstruction. The neuropathy in my feet is really bad they have these circulating bands on my legs which is making my feet worse. Does anyone have any suggestions for neuropathy mine is not getting better.

Kimberly you are never abrasive you have been a leader and given great encouragement and advice.

I think I am back on a little more regularly now that I am feeling better. Hugs Rae

Rae- So wonderful to hear from you and sending positive thoughts that the surgery recovery is much easier on you than the chemo portion.

Kimberly- Your sarcastic wit helped put a smile on my face during some of my toughest days. My mother occasionally goes on this site, too, since I speak so highly of you all, and she occasionally asks about you, because you have touched her as well.  Like you, I feel my strength slowly returning and getting on with so many backburner things that I have put off through this ordeal. I have had more good days than bad ones since being off the chemo, and try to remind myself that the percentage of good to bad will hopefully continue to improve.  I even had a day this past week, that not only was a good one, but one in which I spent the entire day without a thought or fear of cancer. It felt like such a blessing. 

RJ- I don't even know what to comment on all you have posted since I last was on, but I hope that your strength and faith continue to support you during the stress of everything with your daughter and the custody battle for your grandkids. So happy that you are done radiation and hope that your energy level quickly returns. I know you said you'd be starting the Tamox. soon too.  I have been on it for almost a week now, and other than a little bit of a stomach ache and appetite drop (which may be just related to my stress about starting it), I haven't noticed anything yet. Hoping that we both find it very tolerable and have little to no persistent side effects. 

Mags- Sorry that radiation has been difficult, but glad to hear that you are more than halfway done. I'm sure that doesn't sound as good to you going through it as it does to me, but I'm hoping that the next 3 weeks go by quickly for you.

 Thinking of all of you on here daily!

Rae, you must have been a foot soldier in your past life, cause you sure don't sound like a teacher.  My neuropathy has receded gradually, but it was numbness, not pain.  Different drug regimens, different people.  I don't know what you can expect.

CJRT - Maybe you mom likes me because I said they rocked taking care of you, the in-laws, and probably mom too.  Gosh I wish I had my mom during this, not to take care of me, but just to talk to.  She's gone I think almost 15 years now and I miss her because I liked her, not about familial love, and I love mama, but I would have been happy to be friends with her even if she hadn't been family. A memory comes to mind where she was undergoing chemo and there was this awful nurse who stuck and stabbed this guy, and then yelled at him because he didn't tell her that he had a port.  I was driving her home and I said "I don't think she should have been a nurse."  She said "Ya think?"  I do miss mom, indeed.

Love to all you ladies, grab the wellness train and hang on.

I planted 18 old tomato seeds because they were not offered on the local market, fresh seeds in the variety I wanted, San Marzano.  I only wanted 9 plants.  The seeds were 4 years old.  I would have been satisfied if I got 4 plants, considering the age of the seed.  18 sprouted.

I couldn't figure out if that was a good story or a bad story for a cancer patient.  The seeds had lived long past their natural viabilty. My first thought was, wow, beat all the odds, 100% viability.  Life anew against the odds.  Seeds in unpampered conditions are not supposed to do that.  My second thought was what if the cancer was like the seed and it lived.  Cancer would definitely be a weed seed.  The weed seeds, they can F- themselves.

Rae can be the general in her similes.  I am a gardener and I hope surgery and chemo put 12 inches of mulch around my being like a precious plant.  No weeds can get through, protected from drought.  I nourish it and it will nourish me with extra to spare.

woohoo to you Belle....I have 10 left--5 regular tx and 5 boosts to scar.  Cannot wait to be done.with it all.  How is your skin holding up?

Maggie

Kimberly: A garden full of healthy beautiful flowers is what I wish for you and all of us. Spring is beginning here and I think of how many times I laid so sick in bed and saw the cold bare trees. Now I see renewal glad we are all almost to the other side.

Belle and Maggie: thinking of you and hoping you are done with this quickly and it's soon a distant memory.

RJ: so sorry about your daughter a lot of us have some doozers for family members no matter how much you try and help they are on a self destruct course. Glad your grand kids have you.

CJRT, Kate , Kellireig, Leann, hope you all are doing well and recovering. I missed keeping up with everyone.

I am recovering from bi-lateral mastectomy and Diep flap surgery. I am hunched over like 150 year old woman until my tight tummy heals. My dollies were a size double D before and I told the PS I wanted a perky C but now they are swollen to what feels like a triple F but still hoping they eventually end up perky something or other. So grateful to be past chemo and not feel sick.